Can You Offer Any Advice On My Sales Page?

14 replies
Hi,

Creating sales pages are not my strong point, simply because I haven't written one before.

It would be much appreciated if any of you could give me some pointers, or offer some constructive criticism on my current page.

The site is Article Writer Pro - Create Unique Articles Instantly

Many thanks for your time.

Andy
#advice #offer #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Sarah Johnson
    One thing I would suggest is to add a little jazz to your bullets.

    Explain what each of the things you were talking about will do for the prospect. Make them dramatic. How it will improve the readers life.

    Bullets are one of the few things (headline, subheads, and the PS as well) that skimmers read. So you need to really make them sell your product.

    ~Sarah Johnson
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    • Profile picture of the author erinwrites
      We'll ignore for a second that you are asking for help pimping a product that advocates spinning articles in a Copywriting Forum

      I think you've got a good approach, now it just needs some punching up and grammar checking. For example: "Watch This Short Video To See How YOU Can Create A 500+ Word Article In Less Than 2 Minutes! Using Our Content Pool..." Remember your audience--they want a faster way to create good articles. If you've got a grammatical error before they have to start scrolling, that won't give them much confidence in the rest of your pitch.
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  • Profile picture of the author terrapurus
    Hmmm .... the headline does lack a bit of punch. Split test a few to see what works best. A good book on copywriting is Hypnotic Writing by Joe Vitale.
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    • Profile picture of the author CTWilliamson
      Originally Posted by terrapurus View Post

      Hmmm .... the headline does lack a bit of punch. Split test a few to see what works best. A good book on copywriting is Hypnotic Writing by Joe Vitale.
      I have also read this book. It has many great pointers.
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  • Profile picture of the author AndyBlackSEO
    Hey, thanks everyone. I have just made some changes and added some more wording and bullet points.

    I have just seen these last few comments now so i'll just go and make some more changes based on that advice.

    Thanks!!

    Andy
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    • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
      Direct response ads do best when there is one
      requested action - lose the navigation at the top
      left... ask for the sale only at the bottom.

      You need to check your spelling and punctuation.

      I would write more. If you are selling the value of
      article marketing and article spinners you are dealing
      with a not-very-experience crowd of people who
      will experience strong motivation to buy when you
      promise them floods of easy traffic from easy to
      write articles.

      If readers have heard of spun articles they will immediately
      have baggage around the quality issue. You need
      to address it head-on and show and tell in specific
      terms how your product is different.

      Since you offer no guarantee my B.S. alarm went off.

      You have a lot of work to do here. Hit the books.
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  • Profile picture of the author AndyBlackSEO
    Thanks Loren,

    Thanks for your comments. I have never thought about a guarantee. This is something I would be happy to implement. At the end of the day, if people aren't happy with a product, to some extend, they should get an opportunity to hand the product back and get a refund.

    I'm not trying to have anybosys eyes out. I will look at doing this. Is something like a 30 day money back guarantee the norm?

    As for your comments about the navigation. It is the homepage of the site itself. Would it be best to create a sub domain or something for the sales page and just create a normal page for the actual index page?

    I appreciate your help!

    Thanks

    Andy
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  • Profile picture of the author pyrmontvillage
    Hypnotic Writing is good start. Just Bought it.
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  • Profile picture of the author David Raybould
    Hi Andy,

    I think some of the other guys are right - it's great for a first attempt, but all the different text and navigation around the header is probably hurting you.

    I'd guess a lot of people are leaving the page right there and then.

    If you remove everything but the headline you'll probably see an improvement, then you can tweak the headline from there.

    Also if you remove the stuff either side of it, you can widen the main table for the body copy...it looks a little narrow.

    Something else that will help is to let your bullets breath a little...include more white space around them, and have a space between each bullet too.

    The bullets are pretty cramped at the moment, it makes it seem like the reader has one big bold block of text to read...

    Lastly, break your sentences up a little. It makes it easier to read. Like this.

    I hope that's helpful for you Andy, good luck...

    David
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  • Profile picture of the author JaredKels
    Very good writing. I bought this too!
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  • Profile picture of the author AndyBlackSEO
    Thanks David. I'll look at ammending it soon. I'll have to seperate the sales page from the main site or stick it on a sub domain as the surrounding stuff is the main site.
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  • Profile picture of the author VizeBoogie
    it's a little spammy for my taste but maybe you could use the same "buy now" button you have at the bottom after some other chunks of copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    Give ma free varsion adn I'll gave you awsome tastimonail!
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