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Rip Me To Shreds

by JamesPenn
6 replies
Hi Warriors

Once again I come to the Warriors for help ripping my sales copy to shreds. I've come here before, followed the advice, and boosted conversions.

Today I come asking for help with my salespage at Short Report Profits >> Create An Insane Passive Income Online

I've recently tweaked it to boost conversions, but wonder what other small things I can do to increase my conversions. It already converts fairly well, but that's not good enough for me.

Let me know what you think I could add, delete, or change to increase conversions.

Thanks,
James
#rip #shreds
  • Profile picture of the author John_S
    I've come here before, followed the advice, and boosted conversions.
    What you should change is your non client status. Hire a copywriter.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    If you are attached to making your age a selling point try
    reframing it as if it were NEWS - ripped from newspaper
    headlines about the crappy economy... sort of like a dog
    saving a drowning kid: "teenager saves his family from
    financial ruin!"

    Newsy copy, if it applies to your situation, is often highly
    effective. It's one of the best forms. The way you've framed
    it here is very much carnival-barker style. Try a less
    self-promotional tone and share the good NEWS and you
    may see a bump. Re-frame your story too as if you were
    interviewed by a rapt reporter; take it into the 3rd person
    voice.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark McClure
      James - Since Paul Myers has given you a testimonial - what about approaching other well known IM names in the small report niche. Have you asked Jimmy D. Brown?
      A truckload of recommendations from those established names might be worth testing.

      My 10 yen...
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  • Profile picture of the author JamesPenn
    Loren,

    Interesting idea. I may look into that and start testing with a few different variations.

    Mark,

    Thanks for your input. I'm certain that Jimmy Brown wouldn't endorse my product as it's direct competition to his. It may be worth me finding other marketers though.

    Has anyone else got any ideas?

    James
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  • Profile picture of the author rubberleg
    It's nice man, looks very nice. I'd maybe add one of those guarantte badges at the bottom if you're looking to tweak conversions. On the feedback side, I see you face, alot on the page...it stands out more than anything. I get the the teenage marketer but maybe I only need to see that once above the fold, featured in the middle, then product, product, product.
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  • Profile picture of the author nata_sha
    A little off topic ... but do these pages actually sell something? From my personal experience i usually leave the page as soon as i see some sales pitch like this ... not to take anything away from your writing skills or product ... but i always wonder if people go through these pages and actually buy in the end ??? Probably that's because i never tried something similar myself ...
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