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Hi Warriors, these 3 headlines are for a sales copy writing course. The target market is IMs and copywriters. Please tell me which of these is the best...

"HOW SIMPLE MIND-CONTROL TRICKS
MADE An ORDINARY COPYWRITER INTO A
MILLION DOLLAR SALES LETTER WRITING MACHINE"

Or

"Discover My Sneaky Yet Ethical
Mind-Control Tactics for Writing Copy
That'll Put Your Readers
in a Buying Trance"

Or

"Who Else Wants This
Concise Step-by-Step,
Easy-to-Understand Guide
to Writing
High-Converting Sales Letters"

Or

"How You Can Grow Rich Using a
Fun, Stress-Free, Copywriting Formula
(Even if You Flunked English)"

Or

"Discover My Sneaky Yet Ethical
Mind-Control Tactics
for Writing Copy that'll
Put Your Readers in a Buying Trance"

Or

"The Idiot's Guide
to Writing Million Dollar
Sales Copy
in Under 27 Minutes Every Time"

Or

"How to End the
Stress and Anxiety of
Not Knowing How to
Write a Money-Making Sales Letter"

Or

"Uncover Powerful Insider Secrets
That Will Skyrocket Your Sales and
Make Your Customers Beg You to
Sell Them Your Products Even if
You Are English Dunce!"

Or

"The Marketing Secret Gurus
Don't Want You to Know and
How They Make Millions of Dollars
After Only Hours of Using This Formula"

Any feedback would be appreciated