10 replies
Hi Warriors, these 3 headlines are for a sales copy writing course. The target market is IMs and copywriters. Please tell me which of these is the best...

"HOW SIMPLE MIND-CONTROL TRICKS
MADE An ORDINARY COPYWRITER INTO A
MILLION DOLLAR SALES LETTER WRITING MACHINE"

Or

"Discover My Sneaky Yet Ethical
Mind-Control Tactics for Writing Copy
That'll Put Your Readers
in a Buying Trance"

Or

"Who Else Wants This
Concise Step-by-Step,
Easy-to-Understand Guide
to Writing
High-Converting Sales Letters"

Or

"How You Can Grow Rich Using a
Fun, Stress-Free, Copywriting Formula
(Even if You Flunked English)"

Or

"Discover My Sneaky Yet Ethical
Mind-Control Tactics
for Writing Copy that'll
Put Your Readers in a Buying Trance"

Or

"The Idiot's Guide
to Writing Million Dollar
Sales Copy
in Under 27 Minutes Every Time"

Or

"How to End the
Stress and Anxiety of
Not Knowing How to
Write a Money-Making Sales Letter"

Or

"Uncover Powerful Insider Secrets
That Will Skyrocket Your Sales and
Make Your Customers Beg You to
Sell Them Your Products Even if
You Are English Dunce!"

Or

"The Marketing Secret Gurus
Don't Want You to Know and
How They Make Millions of Dollars
After Only Hours of Using This Formula"

Any feedback would be appreciated
#critique #headlines
  • Profile picture of the author videolover7
    How is your course different from the plethora of courses already out there?

    A headline that communicates your differentiation (which obviously should benefit the prospect) would be best.

    VL
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5624495].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author PsychoProfits
      Originally Posted by videolover7 View Post

      How is your course different from the plethora of courses already out there?

      A headline that communicates your differentiation (which obviously should benefit the prospect) would be best.

      VL
      Hi VL - please provide an example...
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5624522].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        Richard,

        Your headline is dependant on WHO your target reader is.

        Warrior Forum readers will be different to offline business owners because they have seen different headlines and won't respond favourably to those that sound like what's gone before them.

        The other point is having worked out your overall single theme FIRST, before you write a single word.

        Sorry, no cookie cutter headlines.

        Best,
        Ewen
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5624640].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author videolover7
        Originally Posted by PsychoProfits View Post

        Hi VL - please provide an example...
        Differentiation: The secret of "the Most Profitable Advertisement in History"
        URL: Copywriting Crash Course - How To Write Killer Sales Copy

        Differentiation: Lazy Copywriter
        URL: Stopwatch Copywriting

        Differentiation: World's most secretive 7-figure copywriter
        URL: Secret Copywriting Tricks Of The Trade

        VL
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5625258].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    Correct me if I'm wrong - doesn't your opening sentence say "these 3"?

    When I read more than three, I was a little confused. Then the idea of actually making notes on all of these and deciding which ones resonated most became a little off-putting.

    Do something to make it a little easier for me to help you out, and I will gladly do so. I look at words and research and SERPs and drafts all day long. If you neatly organize your info so that it's not overwhelming at the end of a long day, all the people helping you out will be that much more receptive.
    Signature

    Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5625594].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author MorpheusMirror
      Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

      Correct me if I'm wrong - doesn't your opening sentence say "these 3"?

      When I read more than three, I was a little confused. Then the idea of actually making notes on all of these and deciding which ones resonated most became a little off-putting.
      I agree, help us help you but do not just take. You definitely need to take into consideration your target audience. On a quick look the fourth and fifth one from the top is ok; audience depending.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5626983].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    Originally Posted by PsychoProfits View Post


    "The Idiot's Guide
    to Writing Million Dollar
    Sales Copy
    in Under 27 Minutes Every Time"

    Or

    "The Marketing Secret Gurus
    Don't Want You to Know and
    How They Make Millions of Dollars
    After Only Hours of Using This Formula"

    Any feedback would be appreciated
    I think these are the best, but frankly they're a little unbelievable too. Seasoned copywriters won't fall for hype, they're going to want proof and specifics.

    Most important, they'll want to be sure they're not about to hear the same thing they've heard in other courses.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5628048].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author PsychoProfits
    Great feedback from all of you. I apologize for the typo "these 3" (it was originally three). Thank you very much
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5634977].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author maximus242
    They all suck
    Signature

    xResponsive Advertising Agency | Direct Marketing | Online Advertising | Create Breakthrough Campaigns for Your Business http://xresponsive.com

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5635155].message }}

Trending Topics