Please Help! Which capture page is better?

by Eric S
12 replies
Okay, I'm horrible at designing capture pages and coming up with headlines that grab people's attention. I'm working on a couple designs for my network marketing business and I need some opinions.

Of the two pages below, which will convert better? I'm open to any suggestions, but please use constructive criticism (lol) as this is not my cup of tea, so I know they're nothing special.

I'm open to pointers and ideas to make them better, but also would like to know which one of the two would grab your attention better.

How to Rake in Unlimited $98 Payments Everyday!

How to Rake in Unlimited $98 Payments Everyday!


I appreciate any help and input in advance!!
#capture #page
  • Profile picture of the author wilmath
    Both sound too good to be true.
    You need to give more details.
    Even people selling the Brooklyn Bridge are more specific.
    Good Luck

    Rick
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnHYW
    In my opinion, I think that the first capture page is better as the headline is shorter. I like capture pages with less headline as viewers tend not to read a capture page which has long headlines.
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  • Profile picture of the author mhartmann
    The obvious answer is to split-test. I'm not sure what you're asking here. I'm constantly surprised by split-test results, and I've been at this for a while.

    Anyhow, good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author nelio26
    The first is better in my opinion as its more direct and to the point, but honestly they are both lacking appeal and more info on what you are offering. Add another sub headline, a picture of an ebook or something, even a arrow pointing to the optin box, etc.

    Look up Google for free squeeze page templates and use something more attention crabbing.

    Nelio
    Signature
    ***FREE TRAINING*** Limited Time!
    "How to Earn a 6-Figure Side-Income Online" Access FREE Training Here!
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  • Profile picture of the author Grain
    "Internet Marketers Deny Red-Handed Scheme To
    Trap Newbies."

    Would probably gain a far higher squeeze/viewership
    rate than what you have there. Not kidding.

    You have zero credibility...

    ...zero urgency...

    ...zero reasons...

    ... for anyone to even click on your link.

    Come on, at least a thumbnail, and a short excerpt
    on what the reader will be getting!

    Otherwise, that page's going to remain bull crap.

    Kind Regards,
    Grain
    Signature

    Kind Regards,
    Grain.

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    • Profile picture of the author clarest
      Maybe a promo video with sneak peeks too? The name/email fields are kind of long though. Thanks for asking us for feedback.
      Signature

      "There are no new fundamentals. Be suspicious of someone who says 'I've got a new fundamental.' That's like someone inviting you to tour a factory where they are manufacturing antiques." ~ Jim Rohn on fads

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      • Profile picture of the author NickN
        Thing is, both pages look exactly like the millions of other "How to make money in your sleep!" pages out there.

        You need a hook. You want me to give you my name and email? Make me know it's worth my while to do so.
        Signature

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        • Profile picture of the author opt in
          Hi Eric,

          Personally I think you should do Split testing but my preference in this case is to keep the first page's headline (less words and specific amounts like $3038 this month are usually a winner) and add the Free Video incentive from the second squeeze page.

          Cheers,

          David
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  • Profile picture of the author Eric S
    Thanks for all the feedback so far. It is definitely being taken to heart and I'm working on some new stuff!
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    neither.

    but it doesn't matter what i say, it matters what your target audience says. When you split test the pages, you'll see with the results which your prospect responds to best.

    just a lil FYI...when you say "system" right off the bat, i know you're gonna try and sell me something... my radar is up.
    Signature

    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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  • Profile picture of the author mihovi
    Both look good, but, to be honest, I won't click on any of them... Something is missing, though. They look too standard poor squeeze pages. Try to add more bullet-ed "what it isn't" information such as "NO selling involved", "NO website necessary", "NO marketing skills required", etc. Embed a video or something catchier. You know what I mean? After that do split testing.
    Good luck.
    Ovi
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  • Profile picture of the author Maui Mike
    I also suggest getting a video testimonial up. If you can't do one hit up fiverr
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