three things a business owner MUST do to increase profitability

12 years ago

Personally, I prefer:

The three things a business owner MUST do to ensure sustained profitability and growth.

Good luck with it.

Will

EDIT: On reflection, I think this is slightly better:

The three things a business owner MUST do to ensure sustained growth and profitability.

I think it scans a little better.

Thanks

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travlinguy

12 years ago

It's pretty generic if you ask me. I'd go with something much more specific, something that talks about putting money in their pockets.

Thanks

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videolover7

12 years ago

Originally Posted by AchievingDreams

Hello,

I started an offline business and I'm trying to write a brochure. I was wondering if anyone can give some critique to the headline that will appear on the front of brochure:

three things a owner MUST do to improve profitability and growth for their business.

Is it too long? Is it too short? is it just right.

Thanks in advanced for your guys opinion.

Generally, negative headlines work better for brochures and free reports. Try to get the word "mistake" in the headline.

Also, try to get something specific in the headline, like a number.

For example,

"Three mistakes most business owners make that kill profitability by 20%"

VL

Thanks

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JonMills

12 years ago

Appeal to their selfish greedy nature ( we all have it ) and get more specific as right now it's just too darn general and screams " I'm an AD "

Thanks
1 reply

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RickDuris 12 years ago

Er...um, seems Jay Abraham had pretty good success with:

Three Ways to Grow a Business

- Rick Duris
- Thanks
- 3 replies
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- valuecreator 12 years ago
  
  What is fundamentally wrong with your Business
  
  3 tangible assets your business is not using
  
  How should you grow your business?
  
  The maximum way to grow your business
  
  Here's how we scaled into a Billion dollar company
  
  Thanks
  
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- videolover7 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by RickDuris
  
  Er...um, seems Jay Abraham had pretty pretty good success with:
  
  Three Ways to Grow a Business
  
  - Rick Duris
  
  Think the OP has the same positioning? LOL
  
  VL
  
  Thanks
  
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- JohnRussell 10 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by RickDuris
  
  Er...um, seems Jay Abraham had pretty good success with:
  
  Three Ways to Grow a Business
  
  - Rick Duris
  
  Good point. What about putting a negative spin on this for the OP:
  
  Three Ways To Tank Your Business (Even If You Think Things Are Fine)
  
  Thanks
  
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SBCopywritingGuy

12 years ago

Originally Posted by AchievingDreams

Hello,

I started an offline business and I'm trying to write a brochure. I was wondering if anyone can give some critique to the headline that will appear on the front of brochure:

three things a owner MUST do to improve profitability and growth for their business.

Is it too long? Is it too short? is it just right.

Thanks in advanced for your guys opinion.

I think it's very vague. I'd try to work a local angle into it. Something like:

"Last year, over 86.7 of Businesses in Las Vegas, NV Reported They Struggled to Stay In Business...

Here are the three things they could have done to increase profits and sustain growth WITHOUT Losing Money..."

...or something along those lines.

I don't know your market exactly, but I would try to narrow my focus on the market and their problems.

Thanks

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GlenH

10 years ago

Originally Posted by AchievingDreams

Hello,

three things a owner MUST do to improve profitability and growth for their business.

If you're putting this into a brochure, you got to smack 'em in the face with big bold statement that will make them stop what they're doing to read your brochure, and for me....

....'three things a owner MUST do to improve profitability and growth for their business'...doesn't get my attention at all.

Just a quick idea.....

'3 Little Known Strategies The Smartest Business Owners Use To Improve Profitability and Grow Their Businesses'

Thanks

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Chriswrighto

10 years ago

Either make it a secret, like Glen is saying, or focus on the pain as stated elsewhere in this thread.

Thanks

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AndrewCavanagh

10 years ago

As SBCopywritingGuy wrote it's just not that sexy.

You need some specific information in there or something
exciting to draw in your readers attention.

Also if you're targeting the business owner then instead
of "a owner" it should be "You".

eg.

"Bill Gates Reveals The 3 Biggest Secrets To Growing Your Business
AND Doubling Your Profits In The Next 6 Months"

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh