Which Copy Is The Best Copy? Please Advise :)

Aside from the content, I am very particular with the layout, the fonts, the pictures and the colors used. This is because I am always after the attention span of my audience. With this, I prefer the old one.

To me, as a consumer, the second one appears better.
* It has a headline that is an easier read, and easier to understand
* The subheading tells about what Traffic Association does
* The message appears less a sales pitch and more like information

To my mind the first one is definitely better. You need a little colour in the page, apart from the main graphic, and you've got that with the first one. The second one is rather grey and flat in comparrison.

Thanks for the replies

A lot of helpful information.. I will be applying

Dennis

Well... here is version 3

Traffic Association | Helping YOU Conquer The Competition!

Dennis

I like the old one!

Hi Dennis I'm sold just can't do it yet Have other committments yet to fulfill but will probably buy this tool .

The new headline beats the old one that isn't much effective, in my opinion.
The reason why is that the old headline focuses on a problem that seems made-up and lets the reader cold. The new headline grabs attention and, while not much original, has enough power to suck you in the letter.

However, the layout of the old one is more pleasant and easy to read (except for the multicolor headlines).

So my choice is the new copy but the old layout.

You all make excellent valid points, however I have the real answer...the best version of all the sales letters you have tried is...

...The One Which Makes YOU The Most Money!

Some members have touched on testing, and it sure is the most important consideration. In fact you're in a better position than many internet marketers, many of them only have one version of their sales letter so they cannot test.

I've been to many seminars where the audience has been asked which of several ads or headlines pulled the best response. Whatever they decide, most people get it wrong, because they aren't in the market for that product at that moment. You are not your market.

So most marketers and copywriters can usually tell a good sales letter from an average one, and we can tell where improvements can be made to increase response, just as several members already have.

But the acid test, the real story is in the real world testing - get them out there on a rotating script, measure precisely the number of unique visitors to each version vs the number of sales each version makes, and that is how you tell which letter is better.

I definately prefer the new one. The title of the old "who else" has me bored on the first line.

I personally feel their are to many screenshots all of which are similar, howver I understand what you are trying say in a logical format. To present this differently would take hours of work, and I am sure you do not want to hear that. Could you get the same message across using less screen shots?

It is worth thinking about.

Gordon

Fair comment, they are impressive, and I would love to be in that position and they do promote the product.

They could be tidied up though. I am not being awkard, just my honest personal opinion, take it or leave it, no offence meant, only trying to help a fellow marketer.

gordon.

Well clearly opinions are split. I liked the older version better, mostly based on the headlines. There were a few phrases in the new one, that personally turned me off because they sounded canned -- "Hands-Free" is one of those terms for me. I always think, "Yeah, right, I'll just look at the computer and think 'how about some sales' and it will happen."

"Explode" also doesn't hit the right emotional appeal for me.

I guess i have come to a right spot, cos i am gonna create my own sales page, but for me Second one looks better.

I like the old one better because of the different colors and layout. It had enough activity to keep my attention. The new one visually didn't keep my attention at all so if the content was off just a little, I would be clicking away almost immediately.

I like the new one coz its MUCH easier to read...

Lokesh Sharma

Opinions are like a whales blow hole, all whales have them. So, in response, here is mine.
the first sales copy is pretty good. It has a few typos and grammer problems. I can almost Guarantee a 1 to 2% conversion rate. More than likely your conversions will come from newbie's to seo.

The second sales copy (for myself), is your money winner. I predict at least a 5% conversion rate. The copy is not only way better it also has more of a trust value built in. Whether this was intentional or not I don't know (it probably was). I believe it will convert not only newbies but also seasoned veterans.

However, there is a flaw with both of the sales copy. By adding one element to your copy will increase the conversion rates (if done properly) by 25/50%. but I wasn't the hired gun so...
And it is so internet marketing 101 simple.

Sorry missed the third sales copy. Better than the first. Still the money winner is on the second copy for the same reasons.
Let us know the results.

the old one is good but u can improve the page width by editing the css .. make the page same like the new one but the fonts, colors and all should be same as the old one ...

You can take them both and make one better letter. But you'd start with the first one and add pieces of the second to it. The first one has a better headline and opening.