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NFL Player turns copywriter

by RickDuris
9 replies
Pretty bold move on the part of Ryan Kalil, Carolina Panthers Player:

http://copyranger.com/nfl-player-turns-copywriter/ ‎

- Rick Duris

PS: Lots of interesting critique comments as well.
#copywriter #nfl #quarterback #turns
  • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
    Rick,

    What else would you expect from a Trojan?

    Player Bio: Ryan Kalil - USC's Official Athletic Site

    Adam

    p.s. Fight on Trojans.

    p.p.s Beat the rainbows!
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  • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
    Well, Bo Eason became a sought after speaker and Hollywood scriptwriter. So why not.
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    • Profile picture of the author underworld90
      It started off strong but then got too long. I lost interest halfway through.

      Maybe I'm not the right target audience.
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      • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
        Originally Posted by underworld90 View Post


        Maybe I'm not the right target audience.
        Underworld,

        Any fan of the NFL would of read this 3 times.

        And NFL players have probably read it 5 times.

        And this is letter is going to be printed and placed in locker rooms before games.

        And if the Panthers make the playoffs, this ad will get TONS of coverage.

        Why?

        Because in the world of sports there is an unwritten rule "Thou shall make no promises".

        And EVERY NFL fan knows this rule.

        And if you do, it's a small one.

        THIS one is huge.

        So yes, you are correct: you are not the target.

        But trust me, every NFL fan read this with GREAT interest.

        In terms of a copywriting lesson, here's what I'm seeing:
        • "You" is used several times
        • "Why" in the title invokes immediate curiosity
        • Bold Claim in title (dude should be writing WSOs)
        • Tells the story of the history of the franchise -- story element. Right Vin?
        • Copy is charged is emotional pain, and hopeful redemption
        • Writes of a "good future" (i think this is called future pacing in NLP ???)
        • Clear & Vivid use of imagery (aka Silver Lombardi trophy with Panthers written on there)
        • It's from a trusted source who has authority on the matter

        p.s. here are links to the news coverage validating this is BIG deal:
        http://www.faniq.com/blog/Ryan-Kalil...ons-Blog-52762
        http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1...mpossible-task
        http://espn.go.com/blog/nfcnorth/pos...e-reverberates
        http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-sh...3253--nfl.html
        http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com...super-bowl-ad/
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        • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
          Originally Posted by copyassassin View Post


          In terms of a copywriting lesson, here's what I'm seeing:
          • "You" is used several times
          • "Why" in the title invokes immediate curiosity
          • Bold Claim in title (dude should be writing WSOs)
          • Tells the story of the history of the franchise -- story element. Right Vin?
          • Copy is charged is emotional pain, and hopeful redemption
          • Writes of a "good future" (i think this is called future pacing in NLP ???)
          • Clear & Vivid use of imagery (aka Silver Lombardi trophy with Panthers written on there)
          • It's from a trusted source who has authority on the matter
          Hi Adam,

          Nice analysis.

          Your "Inception" piece was good too.

          - Rick Duris

          PS: I like Deadspin's analysis.
          Signature
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          • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
            Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

            Hi Adam,

            Nice analysis.

            Your "Inception" piece was good too.

            - Rick Duris

            PS: I like Deadspin's analysis.
            Rick,

            Thx! Rick. Much appreciated. I've missed talking with you. I'll give you a shout really soon.

            FYI: the QB & Coach have now come out in support of Ryan's pledge:
            Cam Newton backs Ryan Kalil's Carolina Panthers title promise - ESPN

            For copywriters reading this:

            When you make a bold claim, aka "HYPE", it will attract attention.

            However, if you have authority on the subject, you can do this.

            With Cam Newton backing Ryan, as well as the Coach and other players, you've now gone from "hype" to a "vision statement".

            It's really powerful.

            I'm sure somewhere Seth Godin is smiling that Ryan is inspiring his tribe to take massive action.

            As applied to copywriting:


            If your client REALLY believes in the product/service they provide, then get inspired testimonials from their clients or vendors. Even employees.

            For example, most employees are zombies in they don't really care about the product/service they provide. They are just getting a paycheck to pay the bills.

            If you ACTUALLY have inspired employees who HONESTLY believe in your clients company, that can inspire potential clients to do business.

            For this to work, it must be geniune. The viewer must recognize it's geniune. Probably video would work here the best.

            And remember, be as bold as you can legally & ethically be. And provide PROOF!
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  • Profile picture of the author ScottMartinCopywriting
    Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

    Pretty bold move on the part of Ryan Kalil, Carolina Panthers Player:

    http://copyranger.com/nfl-player-turns-copywriter/ ‎

    - Rick Duris

    PS: Lots of interesting critique comments as well.
    As a Panthers fan, I loved it. Although I'm predicting a six win season. We have a poor defensive line and, even though I'm a direct response copywriter, I would be better than our safeties at playing safety.
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  • Profile picture of the author ejunkie
    Rick, you do have a knack for finding such 'hidden' copywriting stories.

    And the great thing is you share.

    I have not been able to shake off that story about Louis the killer copywriter from my mind which you shared on your other thread.

    What's next?

    An astronaut turned copywriter? :-)
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