Poll: Which Headline Do You Prefer

Hi James...

I didn't vote...the reason being I think you've
still got a better headline hidden in the old noggin.

These 6 are all passable and some may do okay,
but they're all missing one vital component...

Urgency!

Make the reader feel like they must read further into the letter, and suddenly you've got a powerful headline on your hands.

Hope that's useful buddy, I'm not being difficult on purpose lol.

David Raybould

i voted no. 4 but i think you should delete either one of the two 'niche' words.

I think you need another choice which would read "I should keep brainstorming" It would probably be winning... Good luck

I'm more of an article writer, but my vote would be to keep working on this headline. As mentioned above, I'd lose the "niche" part. It adds nothing to your headline.

I'd also replace "experience regular 4 figure paydays." The word experience doesn't have any emotional grab. Use something like "rake in."

Get rid of "4 figure" and use a specific number. It's more impressive.

Hey James...

I'm in agreement with Travlinguy. Here's my take on them...

1. None of the headlines stop me cold and make me want to keep reading.

2. Most, if not all, experienced marketers will probably have some difficulty believing there are unexposed secrets left to list building. But still, if you decide to target the inexperienced marketers... you can do that in your headline.

3. To me, building a list in 'any' niche isn't terribly compelling to me.

4. There are lots of list building products out there. And many marketers have seen them being sold. So I'd suggest you find what differentiates your product from all the rest. Many of us really have seen a lot before. So what makes yours so special and different?

I also think you're up against the general feeling that there's nothing really new out there about list building. Unless... your product contains some very specific strategy or technique for getting in front of lots of traffic with a proven way of capturing optins.

But based on your current headlines, there's no indication at all that you have any such new strategy or tactic.

I suggest you define your target market, exactly. Find what makes your list-building product totally unique from all the rest out there. Then use that in your headline in as few words as possible without hype. (Not suggesting you were hypey. Just suggest avoiding it.)

Last but never least... test, test, test.

Take care, James...

Hi James

Can't resist. I prefer

At Last Someone Has Unlocked The Secret Of Building Massive Lists In Virtually Any Niche Market!

Ricky Allen

I think that no. 6 comes closest to what you're looking to achieve in pulling in the punters. By asking a question your readers automatically start looking for answers but I would go one step further and challenge them by telling them that they will miss out if they hesitate and don't click RIGHT NOW to find out more.

Guy

i picked number 4 and im not even a copy writer

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

Looks like its back to the drawing board. If anyone has any more tips to improve my headline then let me know, and even better if you can think of a good one then that would be fantastic.

Thanks,
James

I like number #4. The internet gives young people like us the rare chance not to be judged or discriminated based upon our age. It's only the quality of work that people judge us by, so I never list my age if I can help it.

No. 4 was my first pick, and I was having trouble deciding if any of the others were worthy of #2. So, my guess is that the more experienced voters here are offering good advice. Isn't it great having a place to get all this great input before you learn the "hard" way?

Could you maybe add more of a story to your headline? Off the top of my head maybe something like "19 year old, wet behind the ears, kid discovers how to suck in (some large number)to his list in only (some short period of time) days"
.... but that's just off the top of my head, I'm sure you can be more creative.

Hi James,
I think all of them are pretty good except for #2 and #3. People will diffently take your age as being inexperienced and even though it's an advantage for you(with time on your side), people will not see it as an advantage for themselves! Best of luck to you!...oh to be 19 again!

To me, I will get more interested if the person is being so successful even when he is so young!

It will tell me that this system or this product will really help me because even a 19 year old can do it! =)

That's just what i think. What do you guys think?

Headline #5 is better to use because it is an eye catching to the future clients in sales. Because I do believe that an eye catching headline can get more clients and get more sales.

I personally like #2, but it's only because it doesn't say "Four Figure." That looks like more work than saying "$2,000." Numbers are much more appealing!

I don't like using your age in there. It might work for people who are 19, but anyone over 25 won't connect with it as well.

I like #4 the best, but it feels a bit cliche. "Never Before Revealed"... how many times have we all heard that! "Underground".. same.

You need to find your USP. Those headlines could be used on almost any listbuilding product sales letter. Really, I'd need a copy of your product to be able to pull out an angle, but I'll give it a go anyway.

Your key points:
* building big lists
* from scratch
* in any niche
* large daily income from promotions

I think the "any niche" bit is kind of implied. I would say we generally consider most marketing techniques we learn to automatically apply to all niches, so you can probably leave that bit out.

Plus, you obviously have to start "from scratch" when building a list, unless you're buying someone else's in which case the "from scratch" bit might even put you off.

Anyway. Enough waffle. How about:

"Uncover The Extraordinary Secrets Of A Covert List-Building Superstar Who Regularly Squeezes $2,345.67 Out Of His Brand New Subscribers With A Single Email..."

Followed by a subhead which introduces you and the product a bit more, arouses a little more curiosity and frames the rest of the page in the reader's mind.

Okay guys,

I'm finally working on the salesletter now.

I will post for review when done but any tips you can give me would be much appreciated.

Thanks,
James

None of them - I'd drop "huge" and "exposes" words from headlines.
Unless your audience willingly baits on hype-sounding headlines.

Gleb