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Critique my squeeze page funnel

by TGforever
5 replies
How can I make this better to get results. So far the campaign ran today got 100+ views no optins.

page 1 is: Click Here

They click like get redirected to optin page, snippet gets posted on news feed so Facebook friends get to see. You dont have to click "like" the second/optin page is below.

page 2: Click Here
#critique #funnel #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Both links seem to be the same.

    If you tell them they get instant access by clicking "Like", don't then ask for an email address to get the report.

    The header graphic's generic and amateurish.

    Your headline doesn't flow, it's two unconnected statements - the first's a heard-it-all-before claim (which you don't back up with any proof or credibility elements), the second's better but needs to be expanded on.

    "Cant" should be can't.

    The bullet graphic isn't lined up with the text and you don't need to capitalize every word.

    The bullets are boring, and along with the headline, offer absolutely no compelling reason to take action.

    Scrap it and start again.

    You might find some useful info in this thread:

    http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...onverting.html
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    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author FilipinoRockstar
    Checked your squeeze pages and the text is going off my 1440x900 screen. I have a custom squeeze page template that converts well for me, PM me if you'd like to have it
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Kent
    Yeah, it's overstretching or may be it's just the way that page was created.
    Anyway, you have to edit it to make it ok for normal screen resolution.

    In first page, your bullet points and headline is not compelling enough. Work on it,
    see other people's squeeze pages and what they've and try to swipe them.

    I don't know why you're using congratulations in 2nd page. Also you need to have
    a catchy headline/title on 2nd type of squeeze page where there is no details so that it grabs their attention and want to optin.
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    • Profile picture of the author KingDavidOfAbundance
      Good news. You have a lot of stuff that should work reasonable well.

      The first things I would do are

      Get rid of header graphic on both pages and lose weight the easy way or whatever on page 1

      Get rid of are you the reason you cant lose weigh in the headline on page 1

      Make the pages fit the screen

      Get the CTA and like button above the fold.

      Get the opt in form above the fold.

      Do those steps right now and test again old versions.

      I think without the clutter the rest of the stuff will be a great place to start. Good job.
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  • Profile picture of the author stevetm001
    As a total newbie to this forum....

    Your graphics are to big... why do most marketing squeeze pages have text that is way too big?. Why are all the squeeze pages the same format?

    Why not put "The easy way to lose weight fast!" instead of "lose weight" "the easy way" ??

    "Are You Actually Making Your Self Gain Weight? Find Out How To Stop It Now"

    Add an exclamation mark to the end... or stop making your sentences seem to be (from a UK prospective) backwards...

    Why not use something like "I will show you why YOU are the reason you are gaining weight... and I WILL show you how to stop it!" (not perfect.. but a start)

    "Don't Do the yoyo effect" erm... again, bad English.....

    Try... "Don't be a victim of the YoYo effect!"

    Hope this helps.

    Regards

    Steve
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