eMail Copy For Autoresponder Broadcast Message

5 replies
Just wrote up a broadcast message for my list. Tell me what you think? This is exactly how I set it out. Minus the link I am marketing of course. It's clean, fresh and breaks into 3 easy to read sections. Will let you know in my next up-date what the conversions were. REMEMBER: Split Test, Split Test, Split Test. You want to know what copy converts the best, yes?

I'll do a few of these eMail broadcast messages to my list, and together we
will see which converted more in open rates, and sales.

- Let's do some split testing -


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My Subject: Fast Track Your Sales By 50%

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

{NAME}, Here's How To Get On A Fast Track To Increasing
Your Sales By 50% Or More In The Next 12 Months Or Less.

{BODY} - Over 9000 Secrets For Maximizing Your Direct Marketing Profits
is the fastest, most reliable way of taking your sales to the next
level in the shortest time possible.

You can start increasing your sales by at least 50% by securing
your personal spot today. The cost of this remarkable online commnity is just $7.97/month. I think you'll agree this is a tremendous bargain.

"With that in mind, let's take a look at all of the components of this online marketing community." at {YOUR WEBSITE URL}

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Plus, if you order in the next 2 days, you also get two
valuable bonuses...

FREE BONUS #1: Life Time access to the "{PRODUCT NAME}"
This alone is $97/month, and you get in 100% FREE for life.

FREE BONUS #2: {PRODUCT NAME} used by Underground "Traffic
Juggernauts" to completely take over any niche and pump MASSIVE
amounts of cash into your business every single day. A $197
value. Yes, yours 100% FREE for a limited time.

{REPEAT} - "With that in mind, let's take a look at all of the
components of this online marketing community."
{YOUR WEBSITE URL}

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

{YOUR NAME}
{YOUR POSITION}
{YOUR WEBSITE URL}
#autoresponder #broadcast #copy #email #message
  • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
    I think you might get a 1 or 2% conversion rate, which is good. I'll be suprised if you get more than that. But that is my prediction.
    I have seen worse messegages in my inbox. So not bad.

    The one aspect you have left out and I think would convert better is to create curiosity and use a little persuasian.
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  • Try and be specific and not use round numbers.

    "12 months or less" - seems like a long time, could it be less - e.g. in under x months?

    "50% or more" - could that be made into a odd number - it gets more attention - e.g. 57%

    "Over 9,000 secrets" - could you add them up and give the precise number - e.g. 9,017 will create more interest.


    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author xInd
    It looks pretty good. First thing that stood out for me though, is 9000 secrets..... If I have to read nine thousand words even, that's a fair bit of my time, and each tip must be at least a sentence or a line, so 9000 lines is a whole book... Maybe I'm off base here, but I think if it's in my inbox and involves hundreds of pages, I'm going to look for something similar in physical print. Maybe I've just spent too much time in front of my desk surrounded by 5 monitors going bug eyed... . Also I agree with Steve on that topic, exactly 9000 has kind of a subconscious resonance of part BS.
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  • Profile picture of the author 1robert
    I think the headline needs a little work.

    Get more buyers in 30 days sounds more compelling to me than the 12 month thing. Business owners are looking for fast results.

    I would also start with a story instead of jumping right into the offer. Something like Tony Robbins did with his 4 ways to boost sales radio commercial.
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  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    Your offer is there. But you have to expand your sales argument to justify the offer. It's too bare bones even for an email.
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