Is My Script & Voiceover Ok? (or should I hire a pro?)

2 replies
Please be honest. I can take the criticism, I'd actually prefer it.

I'm NOT concerned about the video graphics so please ignore them. I threw random pictures in there just as a test. So far we've gotten 2 calls, which I think is good.

But I'm not sure if the script seems too "fear inducing".

I'm also not sure if I have a clear enough voice to be making more videos with. I wrote a much better script for my next video, and am going to take the time putting solid graphics together, so I want to see if it would be smarter to pay a pro.

I have no issues with paying a pro, I just want to know what you guys would do.



Thank You!!

-Red

ps. my names not "Randy", thats my brother, he takes the calls.
#script #voiceover
  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    Your voice is fine. But - it sounds like you are reading a script - which you are of course. Do it again - as if you are talking directly to your best buddy. Leave in the transitions - the "ums" and "ahs". Relax. Smile as you read - it comes through. Adlib a little.

    And maybe cut back on all the stats/facts and figures. Good job.

    BTW I bought myself a Logitech USB Desktop mic today. For voiceover. The client was in a jam so I volunteered. Very good mic for €29 - about $42. But I notice you can get them in the U.S. for about $22.
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  • Profile picture of the author emsgroup
    So you're doing lead gen with this?

    Too many, "according to"s. You need to keep the watcher interested all the way to the optin or call-to-action.

    With video there's 4 key ways to relate information. Voice, text effects, animation, and graphics. Moving some of those "according to" facts to other channels to make the video move better.

    You can see what I mean on my site with the samples.

    Flash Video Scripts

    Need a pro, let me know, may have some time later this week.

    I know a flash designer that does quality work, too.
    Signature

    Fix your ad - guaranteed.
    http://flashvideoscripts.com/consult/

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