What do you think of my potential headlines

9 replies
I am working on some subject/headline titles for my upcoming forex launch. What do you think?

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#headlines #potential
  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    You have a few mistakes in your headlines for starters.
    I have fixed the grammatical errors.
    I leave it to the copywriting gurus to tell you more about your actual headlines.
    Always check your content before you work out the wording or while you do. If you have errors, you lose your people.


    Need extra to put in your piggy bank?
    Discover the Smart Way to earn a Full-Time Income Online from the comfort of your own home.

    Want to Finally make a Real Income Online?
    30 Days from Now, you could be well on your way to financial freedom.

    Experience the Freedom and Earn a Full-Time Income Online
    Stop wasting time on go-nowhere "Money-Making Schemes! There's a Better Way.

    If you knew a brighter future were only 30 days away, would you take the first step?
    Take Control of Your Future! Grab This Proven-Effective Blueprint for a Consistent Income.
    Signature

    Cheers, Laurence.
    Writer/Editor/Proofreader.

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  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    Originally Posted by accendo View Post

    I am working on some subject/headline titles for my upcoming forex launch. What do you think?

    Need extra to put in your piggy bank?
    Discover the Smart Way to earn a Full-Time Income Online from the comfort of your all home

    Want to Finally make a Real Income Online?
    30 Days from Now, You could be well on your way to financial freedom

    Experience the Freedom on Earning a Full-Time Income Online
    Stop wasting time on go-nowhere "Money-Making Schemes! There's a Better Way.

    If you knew a brighter future were on 30 days away, would you take the first step?
    Take Control of Your Future! Grab This Proven-Effective Blueprint for a Consistent Income
    I have a strong feeling there is nothing solid behind the headlines,
    therefore I'm not going to waste each others time.

    Best,
    Ewen
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    • Profile picture of the author accendo
      Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

      I have a strong feeling there is nothing solid behind the headlines,
      therefore I'm not going to waste each others time.

      Best,
      Ewen
      Unfortunately you would be wrong. I am not in the IM market. Just looking for advice on a headline for my training. I have already done a test launch of the product with a group of 20 people and they all gave me ringing endorsements with a few errors for improvement on the training. I am very confident in what I am offering and came to the experts for help. I am sorry to waste your time.
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      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        Originally Posted by accendo View Post

        Unfortunately you would be wrong. I am not in the IM market. Just looking for advice on a headline for my training. I have already done a test launch of the product with a group of 20 people and they all gave me ringing endorsements with a few errors for improvement on the training. I am very confident in what I am offering and came to the experts for help. I am sorry to waste your time.
        I stand corrected.

        Now you've experienced the voice of
        your markets first reaction.

        I'll leave it to Steve to help you.

        Best,
        Ewen
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    They are all complete duds.
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  • Yes, they are awful.

    You can try and improve them.

    And the only way to do this - is look deeply at your "product."

    Here's just a few questions you must ask.

    What does your product do that others don't?

    Is it easier, quicker, simpler?

    Who is it specifically aimed at?

    Does it actually work? If so how?

    Have you miraculously found something in the IM game that is different?

    What is the key objection people have?

    And how would you handle it?

    Plus dozens more.

    When you have these answers - you'll come up with some headlines that may stand a chance.

    But if the product is dreadful or just the same old tired tuff - then do the sensible thing.

    And create a product that is outstandingly good.


    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author accendo
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Yes, they are awful.

      You can try and improve them.

      And the only way to do this - is look deeply at your "product."

      Here's just a few questions you must ask.

      What does your product do that others don't?

      Is it easier, quicker, simpler?

      Who is it specifically aimed at?

      Does it actually work? If so how?

      Have you miraculously found something in the IM game that is different?

      What is the key objection people have?

      And how would you handle it?

      Plus dozens more.

      When you have these answers - you'll come up with some headlines that may stand a chance.

      But if the product is dreadful or just the same old tired tuff - then do the sensible thing.

      And create a product that is outstandingly good.


      Steve
      I am modeling my launch off of Dean Holland's Quick Start IM Challenge - 4 Live One Hour seminars

      1. Focus is not on a shiny indicator or poki dot system, but instead on a mindset to be successful - You must first learn how to think and frame the market before investing in the market.
      2. A proper mindset makes it quicker, easier and investing more simple. I firmly believe in Keep It Simple Stupid.
      3. Aimed at people looking to make a little extra income each month with the hopes of eventually turning it into a full time opportunity - No Get Rich Quick Hype
      4. Yes, I did a test launch - actually offered free to all warriors too - a month ago and received ringing endorsements and testimonials
      5. Not in IM game, but I believe investing is equivalent to earning income online so I make the comparison
      6. Investing is risky - I believe in what Robert Kiyosaki says is risk is only a risk if it's not evaluated and researched. Then it becomes a calculated decision - cost of doing business.

      I have an initial sales page done, which I paid a warrior to do. I can speak and train, that's my strength. Writing is my weakness. I hoped to find some help here.
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  • ...can you see why your initial headlines made us all think you were selling a hyped up IM product?

    And we still don't know exactly what it is you are selling (some kind of training?).

    I can try and keep guessing - but if you force people to do that in your copy it'll be a complete disaster.

    Anyway...

    Two thing you've mentioned - "Keep it Simple" and "Not Get Rich Quick Hype"

    These gives you scope for dozens of good headlines.

    Sadly, you also said "mindset" a few times. It's probably just me - but I hate that word.

    It's overused, almost "cliched" and wtf does it actually mean?

    If you can develop or use a clearer, concise, and more meaningful word - you're on your way to a better understanding.

    Or at least I am.


    Steve
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