Help with a video script

6 replies
I am working on a 2 minute video script to advertise my upcoming launch on investing in Forex. I would any advice/suggestions.

Question

What concerns do you have Right Now about your Financial Situation.

For Most, it's running out of money before the next paycheck.

In today's economy we all can use a little extra money each month. What Would Financial Freedom mean to you?
  • Toys for your children
  • A special night out with friends
  • What about that new computer you've been putting off

If you could learn how to earn real, extra income, all from the comfort of home and on your schedule, that would interest you, right?

Hello, I'm Michael Glass and I created the 30 Day Forex Challenge to help people just like you across the globe take steps to securing their pocketbooks - and here's the best part:

There's nothing sell - no clients to find and no bosses, uplines, quotas to meet. In fact, you can get started with just $100

I have written books and have been coaching students about investing for years. My students would be the first to tell you that the 4 simple steps I will teach you, greatly changed how they viewed the stock market and their ability to provide for their families.

This is no get rich quick plan and I am not promising you'll be quitting your job in 30 days; however, in 1 month's time you will have the tools to begin your path to financial independence.

Join me today to learn a System that works, It's Repeatable with specific steps that anyone can follow in only a few minutes each day
#script #video
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    You'll get better advice if you can offer more detail about what the aim off the video is and where it fits into your sales/launch funnel.

    That said, a few things that jumped out at me:

    You go from talking about a little extra money each month, to financial freedom, but then offer examples of having a little extra rather than financial freedom. Stick with either one or the other.

    The sentence where you introduce yourself is awkwardly written, and I'd introduce yourself as an author to help establish credibility rather than someone trying to sell something.

    You need a more specific call to action - tell your prospects exactly what you want them to do.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    You're not exposing the REAL pain that people experience when they're broke.

    "Being hard up for cash is getting more and more difficult with each passing year.

    The cost of food is skyrocketing.

    Gas prices are astronomical.

    Buying your children clothing and toys is hardly possible (if not downright impossible.)

    How heartbreaking does it feel to know your son wants (and deserves) a new bike... and you can't afford to buy it for him?

    How much pain and guilt do you experience when your daughter needs a new winter wardrobe... and you can't even afford to buy her a warm coat?

    Let's talk about you:

    How much anger and frustration do you experience - knowing you can't afford to give to yourself, even though you're working your butt off day in and day out just to make ends meet?

    You can't justify so much as getting yourself a bottle of wine because that's money your children need for food and clothes.

    Are you thinking to yourself, 'this simply isn't fair?!?!'

    Well...

    It's not fair.

    And it's not going to change... until you start making different decisions.

    That being said...

    I know there's a lot of total crap and complete nonsense out there.

    Everyone is doing the best they can to make a buck.

    Unfortunately...

    That sometimes means people will try and take advantage of you - promising you the world - just so they can make a buck.

    I'm here to tell you...

    There's absolutely no integrity for people who convince themselves that it's okay to target the financially in-need with empty promises and fake, hype-filled solutions.

    However...

    I'm also here to let you know there IS a REAL solution to your money nightmare.

    No...

    It's not MLM.

    It's not affiliate marketing.

    It's not selling anything.

    I would NEVER put you in the position to set yourself up for failure by getting you involved in the same old nonsense that nobody ever really, truly succeeds at doing.

    What I AM offering you is the ability to replicate the profit-producing-steps that investors who are in the financial know-how take every single day.

    My name is Michael Glass.

    I've created what's The 30 Day Forex Challenge to help people who are barely making it living from paycheck to paycheck.

    Is that you?

    This isn't one of those lame Fire Your Boss things where you'll be living in the lap of luxury in a mere 30 days.

    No.

    But my exclusive program DOES empower you to start reliably generating a few hundred... or even a couple extra thousand dollars a month.

    Would that help you?

    Would that allow you to start changing your life?

    Would that give you the ability to buy your children the clothes and Christmas gifts they desperately want and need?

    The beauty of my program is...

    You just need $100 to get started...

    ...and you can do everything from home.

    No boss.

    No schedule.

    No B.S.!

    Take my 30 Day Forex Challenge when it's convenient for you.

    The question is:

    Are you ready to begin taking the baby steps to redefine and recreate your financial experience?

    Your NEXT STEP is the answer...

    Click here to learn more!"

    Anyways...

    Something like that...

    Mark
    Signature

    Do you want a 9 figure copywriter and biz owner to Write With You? I'll work with you, on zoom, to help write your copy or client copy... while you learn from one of the few copywriters to legit hit 9 figures in gross sales! Discover More

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    • Profile picture of the author accendo
      Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

      You're exposing the REAL pain that people experience when they're broke.

      "Being hard up for cash is getting more and more difficult with each passing year.

      The cost of food is skyrocketing.

      Gas prices are astronomical.

      Buying your children clothing and toys is hardly possible (if not downright impossible.)

      How heartbreaking does it feel to know your son wants (and deserves) a new bike... and you can't afford to buy it for him?

      How much pain and guilt do you experience when your daughter needs a new winter wardrobe... and you can't even afford to buy her a warm coat?

      Let's talk about you:

      How much anger and frustration do you experience - knowing you can't afford to give to yourself, even though you're working your butt off day in and day out just to make ends meet?

      You can't justify so much as getting yourself a bottle of wine because that's money you're children need for food and clothes.

      Are you thinking to yourself, 'this simply isn't fair?!?!'

      Well...

      It's not fair.

      And it's not going to change... until you start making different decisions.

      That being said...

      I know there's a lot of total crap and complete nonsense out there.

      Everyone is doing the best they can to make a buck.

      Unfortunately...

      That sometimes means people will try and take advantage of you - promising you the world - just so they can make a buck.

      I'm here to tell you...

      There's absolutely no integrity for people who convince themselves that it's okay to target the financially in-need with empty promises and fake, hype-filled solutions.

      However...

      I'm also here to let you know there IS a REAL solution to your money nightmare.

      No...

      It's not MLM.

      It's not affiliate marketing.

      It's not selling anything.

      I would NEVER put you in the position to set yourself up for failure by getting you involved in the same old nonsense that nobody ever really, truly succeeds at doing.

      What I AM offering you is the ability to replicate the profit-producing-steps that investors who are in the financial know-how take every single day.

      My name is Michael Glass.

      I've created what's The 30 Day Forex Challenge to help people who are barely making it living from paycheck to paycheck.

      Is that you?

      This isn't one of those lame Fire Your Boss things where you'll be living in the lap of luxury in a mere 30 days.

      No.

      But my exclusive program DOES empower you to start reliably generating a few hundred... or even a couple extra thousand dollars a month.

      Would that help you?

      Would that allow you to start changing your life?

      Would that give you the ability to buy your children the clothes and Christmas gifts they desperately want and need?

      The beauty of my program is...

      You just need $100 to get started...

      ...and you can do everything from home.

      No boss.

      No schedule.

      No B.S.!

      Take my 30 Day Forex Challenge when it's convenient for you.

      The question is:

      Are you ready to begin taking the baby steps to redefine and recreate your financial experience?

      Your NEXT STEP is the answer...

      Click here to learn more!"

      Anyways...

      Something like that...

      Mark
      And in my head I heard a voice say, "Oh My God, You Are AWESSOOOMMEEE DDUUUUDDEEEE!!!"
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7228541].message }}

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