Please Critque My Direct Mail Copy

It is not compelling.

Why they should list (prices are up) should probably be in the headline, instead of 'time for a change.'

And since you need to always be prospecting, consider mailing the min. size, which is about 4.25" x 6" because the first class rate is less than bulk mail, yet you get returns if someone has moved and is renting their place AND you can do repeated mailings.

You should also consider the in-home mail deliver the dentists, grocers and local retailers use, because you can reach a lot more prospects for often 10c per home (including postage and printing).

Good luck!

Kirah,

Like OOTW said, it's not compelling. Start by switching out your headline.


I can see you're trying to avoid the 'salesy' approach ("Sell your house in 5 minutes or we'll give you the difference - cheesy, cliche and overused), and are instead trying to focus on the excitement, new opportunities moving house brings.

So what you need to do is inject some emotion into that copy. Remember, a lot of people see finding a new house as a stressful and tedious task. So you could focus on that tactic as well.

So, something like either of these:

1.) "Are you ready for an adventure? Selling your house can be YOUR new adventure. All you've got to do is take the first step, and we'll do the rest!"

2.) "Sick to death with tyre-kickers nosing around your house? Get it sold - quicktime!"


Get them excited, get them interested, get them reading. For the love of God, don't bore them. I often read through magazines/newspapers, and also get leaflets/flyers through my door. They're all carbon copies of each other. Be different, be personal.

People want a friendly face to help them find a house. I moved house a month back, after switching agents three times. We ended up using the friendly guy to sell ours, who we could have a laugh with (but who was also sincerely good at his job).

Project that friendliness through your card and you'll be flooded with clients. Also give them an offer that actually INTERESTS them. Don't offer them free quotes that everyone and their granny does. Be different - offer them TWO offers instead of one.

Be generous. Giving value is a high-value indicator you have a lot to give, and as a result, you'll receive much more custom.


Good luck!



Ben.

Thanks for the feedback!
I am using EDDM so for about $200 I can hit 1000 houses including the printing (I am printing myself).

Ben you are right. I want to try and capture the excitement people may feel that the market is starting to pick up and that they can move on to a new home that fits their needs better.

benracz not quite sure where you go Germany from?

Ok, how is this?

Well you said Hanover... Sorry, I'm in Europe so I jumped to the wrong conclusion. There are apparently many Hanovers in the world. :-)

Does the rest of my points make sense to you?

I'm not a copywriter by any stretch of the imagination, but in your first line you say "... now is the perfect time to start thinking about putting your home on the market" and the last line you say "... now is the perfect time to list". Do you want them to "think about" listing or do you want them to list?

Too many questions. A couple of us were just discussing this in another thread. You're making your readers do too much of the work. Make it simple for them.

Take some time to get into your ideal customer's head, like Ben described. Your headline should talk about a free home valuation - put your offer upfront and center. People like getting things for nothing. The rest of your copy should talk about why you're the best person to do it for them.

What are some of the problems people deal with when getting their home valued? Will you let them know what they can do to raise the value if it's lower than they imagined? What are the benefits you will give them if they choose you?

Don't waste time trying to convince people to make a lifestyle change when those folks aren't your target audience. You're not going to get them to make such a huge choice within the span of reading a postcard. Speak to the people that are ready and looking, and focus on selling yourself to them.

You could also include a web address with a video like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-RLq...ature=youtu.be

...do exactly what Laura said and take note of all the other comments.

And offer a free gift (something with a perceived valuable - it doesn't have to be expensive) that ties in to the offer with a time limit to get it or a scarcity element so people respond quickly.

It always bumps up the response.


Steve

Thx max5ty. That video is awesome! It is also a great idea as I have the whole other side of the page where I can add a shortened URL for potential customers to meet me via video first.

There's a couple options I would recommend.

1. If you're going to do the post card route...I wouldn't use the approach you have in mind. You can get a lot of customers by giving them information. It's a sneaky way to get in the front door without ever asking them if they're ready to sell.

You could come up with a list of 10 ways to add value to their house, 10 ways to get more when they sell, etc.

At the end you could simply state you're available to do the analysis you're offering. It's a laid back approach, but one that can work.

2. The other option I was thinking about, since you said it's homes in the area, is doing a flyer that you can hang on the front door. Takes a little more work but the response rate would be good.

Make the flyer using card stock, about 8 1/4 x 11. Have a hole at the top so you can hang it on the door. In big red block letters on the front put: HOUSE FOR SALE. On the back you could go with your list of 10 whatever...

If I had more time right now I'd do an example on Fireworks and show you what I'm saying. I haven't really spent a lot of time on the wording for the back yet...

The thing hanging on their door with the notice about the house for sale would without a doubt grab their attention. You're pretty much guaranteed they would read it.

Just my thoughts.

Hope this helps

Around your office? Use zip code information to get the stats.

Try the Max50 idea only give them reasons why they live there. Remind them why they bought the house in the first place.

Top 10 Reasons why your house is valuable:

1- Outstanding schools. Rated A+ by such and such. More college bound high school grads than any school in area.
2- Safe parks and recreation areas.
3- Involved community in the neighborhood.
4- Neighbors who invest in their homes.

Blah, blah etc. Use your RE skills to come up with list...people love to see lists and/or quizzes.

YOU want listings. That is the sale you have to make face to face.
You need to get face to face.

Offer a FREE checklist of the most desirable features of their home with a FREE walk around their homes to identify the outstanding features and give them a benefit list.

So, a big post card is in my mailbox. I see the top 7 or 10 reasons why I live in such a cool neighborhood.

I SEE why my home is valuable and wanted, perhaps a small map on one side with the parks, services, benefits of the LOCATION identified.

I see I can get a FREE checklist without a sales person calling on me...I learn how you can help me create buzz words, the 10 Secret Buzzwords Successful Realtors Use to Sell Your Home Quickly and at Top Dollar (a little curiousity factor).

The website you link to is absolutely plain vanilla in the RE world.

A video and use Google Maps to zoom in on things...software available to make a short little 3 minute here's where you live and what it has to offer type thing.

I've found most realtors are very UNcreative when it comes to getting listings...using the same techniques as from the 1950s.

Just keep this in mind when using Direct Mail...

It is NEVER about you...it is always about them.

I don't like the change approach...most in your area aren't looking for change, you have to remind them why ... such as kids gone
downsizing...
upkeep...

And you get a lot of this information via zip codes and public information, including previous sales.

Don't waste you time and space unless you give them real solid reasons for contacting you...and getting a house listed...heck, I'm sure there are scores of realtors and real estate agents in the area to choose from.

ONLY you can offer them ___________ and that is what you need to do.

Get in their homes and then start selling the listing.

gjabiz

I highly recommend you track down Bob Serling's Direct Marketing Hot Seat program. It has some great postcards and other mail pieces you could model for your real estate offer.