Back for more abuse :)

by pdrs
7 replies
Hey Guys,

Would love some critique/ideas on the sales page for my new classical guitar course

Head Start Classical Guitar Training

Let me know what you think, brutal honesty appreciated

Cheers,

Rob
#abuse #back
  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Rob,

    On first glance, it seems stuck in an uncomfortable "in-between"...

    Here's what I mean:

    For beginners, the pitch still feel too hard or out of reach (even though you've clearly ID'ed the site/course for newbs)

    For intermediate, it feels too basic.

    The text slide copy is weak and missing the right mark and pacing.

    I wanted to see some stunning playing at the top of the video to snap my attention and confirm that I'm in the right place - that "awesome" lives inside this website.

    Yes, you have some great playing on the bed audio, but you never connect it for the viewer that "THIS EXCELLENT PLAYING COMES FROM HERE".

    Thesis is holding your site's design/layout hostage - and not for the betterment of making it easy to read and visitor's eyes automatically landing in the right places.

    This is all very critical sounding, but only because your work is worth commenting on.

    You've clearly put in some effort here and you'll probably make some sales.

    But "better" is still out there looking for you and you for it.

    Hope this helps,

    Brian
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  • Profile picture of the author pdrs
    Brian, thanks so much for the great comments man - I agree 100% about the playing on the bed audio not being connected to "this came from here" just talking to my partner now and we're definitely going to come up with that - I've been in the IM game for about 3 years now but am definitely lacking in my copywriting skills and my partner who did the video has no experience whatsoever - we're musicians really

    Anyways thanks for sharing your thoughts dude, a lot of help!

    Cheers,

    Rob
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  • Profile picture of the author Shazadi
    I used to play classical guitar. Seeing your site makes me want to find the time to pick it up again.

    Brian already hit on some good points, so I'd like to add this: Where's the emotion on this page? Music is all about feeling, especially when it involves classical music and fingerpicking. But right now your sales page, while great at avoiding too much hype and craziness, feels a little lacklustre.

    Where's the mention of wowing my friends with how quickly I've learned things? Where's the discussion of how great it feels to pull off a sweeping, romantic piece without even glancing down at my hands?

    You've covered the facts and details well, but it doesn't hit home emotionally just yet. Add in some of your own passion and I'm sure it'll get there.
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  • Profile picture of the author Aravind Murthy
    I am not a copywriter, but I noted that the website is a bit distracting.
    The Logo on the right is too big. The "join now" button and the optin form are all distracting me from reading the copy.

    Unless your very aim is to try selling through video, I think it's better to work a bit on site layout as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    Scrap everything. Starting with that cheesy logo. Flick the video. Re-design the page for just a headline and a video - widescreen HD.

    There's way too much junk on that page. Make the video the hero...with a headline.

    Video needs to be along the lines of the classic "They laughed when I sat down at the piano... ("They laughed when I picked up the guitar...but when I started to play")

    You're not selling classical guitar lessons... you're selling self-esteem.
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  • Profile picture of the author maximus242
    There is no clarity to your advertisement.

    It does not go from A to B to C to the action you want them to take

    You kind of give a smörgåsbord of info which is not good for a landing page

    Instead you should start where your prospect is and lead them step by step to where you want them to be

    Begin by talking about them and their problems - then how you also had the same problems, how you solved them, how you created your product that offers the solution, proof about the product, more detailed information and finally how they can order your solution to their problem

    Your starting at the end with your product instead of at the beginning with your prospect. Talk about them and their needs before discussing what you have to offer.
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