After hours of hard work and spilled coffee on my keyboard...The Site Is Live...How's My Copy?

Rus,

I started my online career as a personal trainer back in
2001 and went on to sell millions in the fitness niche.

So first off, congrats on being online. You'd be surprised
how many personal trainers still have no web presence.

The big issue I see with your site... is that it's simply
way too busy and cluttered to get someone to do the
ONE thing you want them to do: which is probably
to contact you for a consult.

So the more options, links, and other
distractions you have on the site, the less likely
the chance of them taking that one action you want.

Too many choices = them not making the
one you want them to make.

Always remember... if a site is too busy,
then the site visitor will probably not be
able to focus on what you offer. There are
just too many things going on.

So, start with the end result in mind,
and work backwards...

If you know your goal is to get
them to contact you for a consult,
then your site should be set up
simply, cleanly, and easily... so that
choice is the one they're most likely
to take.

When I was doing one-on-one personal
training in person, I was getting 4 out of
every 10 site visitors to contact me, and
I was using a one-page site.

Again, I started with the end goal in mind,
a consult, and then wrote the copy so that
it led them to make that call.

John Carlton calls it a "greased
slide" where someone lands on your
page, sees a benefit-filled headline,
and then you lead them right down the
page, like a greased slide, to the order form.

THAT is how you want your site set up.

The copy in the first few paragraphs is
simply not engaging, it's too "wordy"

You don't want to use words like
"caveats" or "diminutive"... but rather
more in the way you'd talk to a client.

Out of the thousands I've trained, I don't
think either of those words left my lips.

Think simple, easy, friendly, one-on-one
conversation that drips with empathy
and understanding.

Stick with black text on a light background,
your orange text on blue background simply
makes it tough to read.

There's a reason why all newspapers are
black text on light paper... it's easiest
to read.

Your site is just hard to read, there's
too much going on, and you have a lot
of barriers that people have to go through
before you get them to call.

One HUGE positive you have, Rus, is that
you've got a ton of great proof elements
in your success stories.

That, my friend, should be the foundation
of your marketing... you obviously do a
great job... take that and run with it.

I've seen some very wealthy trainers with
less proof than you, so great job with that.

I think you need a bit of copy help, but also
some layout and design work so that you have
that "greased slide" to get people to call.

I agree with Shawn.

While it looks visually stunning, there is alot going on.

If it's a sales page, let it just be a sales page - it's not clear what you want the
visitor to do. Opt-in? Request a consultation? Read through your training pages
in the footer? Click through the navbar?

Too many choices.

I also recommend removing the "Read More" buttons in the testimonials.

Having them click away in the middle of your pitch isn't a great idea.

Great work so far though. I can see it doing very well.

Edit: On your Request a confirmation form, replace "Confirm Your Request
for a Consultation:" with another benefit as to why they should request a consultation.

Express again exactly what they're getting from it.

Don't stop selling too early.

Thanks Rez, I appreciate that.

I've had hard-ass coaches/mentors
in the past... and I've also had
coaches that taught me
more with a "gentle hand"

and the funny thing is, the ones
who were more "gentle" seemed to
get through to me, and those who
were jerks... I just seemed to shut
them off and shut off any attempts
to "learn" from them.

so, for me, i just think it's easier to
learn if the person doing the teaching
is more empathetic and understanding.

so thank you, Rez, that means alot.

Dude seriously... you've got PROOF of what EVERYONE wants on your site (you just burried it at the bottom). Why not just cut out the crap and go for the jugular?

Put your proof at the top (before and afters) with the headline to the effect of : Want Results Like This? Then watch this free video and discover "the magic" secret behind these drmatic transformations.... or whatever...

This works because...

1. people are always looking for the "magic solution", so your offering them exactly what they want.

2. your lead magnet basically tells stories (which everyone loves) about life before and after they found the "magic solution".

3. Obviously the "magic solution" that they all share in common is you.

4. write your follow up sequence to highlight success in your lead magnet.

5. Anchor all the success stories to "It all started with a call to...."

that's my 2 cents...