Sales page review

by 7 comments
So here are a couple of images of my sales page that will be on my website soon. What do you think? There will be various motivators that will lead people to this page around the website, the old give them a small headache and here's the cure technique will be used in places (negative motivation)

All comments very much appreciated!




#copy writing #page #review #sales
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    1. Until I saw "Social Language Learning" in a very small font, I didn't know what the site was.

    2. I have no idea of the benefits of your offer or how the site works.

    What am I gonna get? And how am I gonna get it?

    3. The copy isn't strong enough or targeted enough.

    It doesn't have to be long copy, but it does have to be strong. And again, the more targeted to the market, the better.

    4. The overall image does not reflect what the site is.

    Try a mosaic of lots of happy smiling people talking or however they communicate on this site. Or maybe a carousel of happy smiling people images with benefits or features listed.

    5. The badge "Papora Premium" in the overall image made me think you were selling beer.

    6. You really should consider giving people the experience of being a member before they sign-up. A 30-day free trial, with billing at the end of the free trial, would work.

    Good luck,

    - Rick Duris
    • Profile picture of the author TheOcarlsen
      Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

      1. Until I saw "Social Language Learning" in a very small font, I didn't know what the site was.

      2. I have no idea of the benefits of your offer or how the site works.

      What am I gonna get? And how am I gonna get it?
      This.

      -expect the fact that I did not notice the "social language learning" in very small font until it was pointed out above. I think you should start with making the concept of your site/community a bit more easy to grasp.

      What is this? + How can I benefit from it? + What makes this particular site special? is three questions I would like to get answered before you catch my interest.
  • Profile picture of the author freeadstime
    You have some trusted logos, you have testimonials, money back and more. Basically you have the stuff for marketing, but I don't know what is it that I will be buying as a customer.
  • Profile picture of the author KingOfContentMarketing
    Check out how clear LiveMocha is on their homepage:

    Livemocha

    Learn
    Learn to actually speak a new language (or two). Trust us – you can do it!

    Teach
    From tutors to content creators, Livemocha teachers help learners reach new language learning heights.

    Explore
    Explore the world through practice and conversations – with millions of people from over 190 countries.

    Or look how simple Voxy is

    VOXY :: Learn a language from life

    Make it clear and dead solid simple.
  • Profile picture of the author m30jake
    Hi All

    Thanks for your comments, I don't think i quite explained myself. The page I showed is not a stand-alone page; it is a page part of a global language community with more than 15k members.

    This is the homepage of my site attached and clearly tells the user what the site is about. The Premium sales page will be within the site itself and different motivators will link to it to prompt the user to subscribe.




    What do you think now knowing this? Thank you all once again for taking the time to do this!
  • Profile picture of the author TheOcarlsen
    Ah, why didnt you just say so in the first place?

    So, that means that the premium access page is for people that already are members and get to the SP to access more features? Kind of hard to know what to emphasize without knowing what people feel is missing in the free version.

    Regarding the entry page though, could I make a suggestion? Drop the "join now for free" part. If its free there is no point in pushing it as a strong benefit (better to portray big value and surprise them with free access), if there exist a premium version than the x2 of emphasizing "for free" might backfire later on. Tell them that the action of accessing right now comes at no cost, not necessarily what happens later on. How about something like:

    -----------------------------------------------

    Learn a New Language - The Social Way!

    No more chalkboard lessons - we believe in putting fun and social interaction into learning. Papora is a fast-growing community of teachers that wants to help others learn their native tongue.

    * Become fluent in any language you desire (it isnt as hard as you think).
    * Make new connections and interact with fun-loving people from all around the globe.
    * Team up in groups or communicate one-on-one.
    * Learn and practice through text, audio or video chat.
    * Over 15,000 members and counting...

    Access comes at no cost. El acceso es libre. Or maybe its C'est gratuit?

    Whatever language you desire to learn, its here.

    Button: Start Learning Now!
    • Profile picture of the author jordanwarrior
      @TheOcarlsen has some pretty darn good advice. However, there are some things to keep in mind about free memberships. People generally have absolutely no problem paying for something that will enhance the quality of something they like doing already; or if they think they'll be receiving valuable knowledge on how to do something better (e.g. learn another language more quickly and accurately than using traditional methods.)

      I think you should exploit that on your site. People enjoy feeling exclusive, and charging something right off the bat shouldn't be a problem, providing you do some pre-selling using testimonials, additional graphics, the benefits of your site; e.g. "Our users say the site is far superior to using Rosetta Stone." Of course that example would require some follow up with your community, but might be worth a shot. The 15k members is also a great way to generate proof and authority.

      Personally, I would offer a 30 day trial right off the bat and see where it goes. If you're providing a service that is in demand and is a viable alternative to more expensive language learning options, you definitely have a winner. On the other hand maybe you've already tried just offering a trial.

      I think your landing page is good. It offers proof, authority, a money back guarantee, and definitely offers enough benefits if someone wants to upgrade. The main graphic is pretty good, and definitely helps create the feel of being somewhere new and exciting.

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