Funny Bullet

by JasonParker 9 replies
You guys wanna see a funny John Carlton bullet?

*Wrestlers the size of Jabba the Hut get tossed into walls like puppies by women!
#copywriting #bullet #bullets #funny
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  • Profile picture of the author mgreener
    Funny? That's awesome! For a muscle building product?
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    • Profile picture of the author Jeremey
      Great imagery...But maybe I'm looking at this wrong.

      Because what I see in my mind is women hurling puppies against the wall. Ouch. Is that what I'm supposed to be seeing?

      Or women hurling Jabba The Hutt against the wall as if he were only the size and temperament of a small puppy?

      My gut tells me it's the latter.
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      • Profile picture of the author Ephrils
        Originally Posted by Jeremey View Post

        Because what I see in my mind is women hurling puppies against the wall. Ouch. Is that what I'm supposed to be seeing?
        This is exactly what I read on my first read.

        I had to go back and read it again because it didn't make sense. Well, it did, but not in the sense I thought it should be making.

        It took another read or two to short out the imagery.
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    • Profile picture of the author SamKane
      Originally Posted by mgreener View Post

      Funny? That's awesome! For a muscle building product?
      It was for a self defense course.

      Combat JKD | Chris Clugston
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      • Profile picture of the author JasonParker
        Originally Posted by SamKane View Post

        It was for a self defense course.

        Combat JKD | Chris Clugston
        That's cool. I've never seen the online version of that letter.

        The one I pulled the bullet from was the direct mail version, which had a nickel glued to the top of the page.

        There's no headline.

        It's similar to the penny letter/dollar letter... except it was with a nickel and he tied in that nickel into the story.

        See subhead: His Life Wasn't Worth Much More Than That Nickel In His Pocket!
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  • Profile picture of the author Mike Mendell
    Immediately after reading that bullet I thought:

    "Yeah right."
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    • Profile picture of the author JasonParker
      Originally Posted by Mike Mendell View Post

      Immediately after reading that bullet I thought:

      "Yeah right."
      You have to keep in mind that this bullet was placed after logically building up to it.

      It wouldn't be even 1% believable just reading it outright like in a headline.

      And besides that... John Carlton is like the king of acknowledging disbelief.

      Once you have a full-on "yeah right moment" you better believe he's going to acknowledge it with something like, "You think it's too good to be true?" Then he'll back it up with testimonials, proof, reasons why, or whatever.

      And sometimes he seems to actually be looking for the "yeah right" reaction to a degree.

      He toes the line of believability.

      He likes to screw with your mind like that lol...
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      • Profile picture of the author verial
        Originally Posted by JasonParker View Post

        You have to keep in mind that this bullet was placed after logically building up to it.

        It wouldn't be even 1% believable just reading it outright like in a headline.

        And besides that... John Carlton is like the king of acknowledging disbelief.

        Once you have a full-on "yeah right moment" you better believe he's going to acknowledge it with something like, "You think it's too good to be true?" Then he'll back it up with testimonials, proof, reasons why, or whatever.

        And sometimes he seems to actually be looking for the "yeah right" reaction to a degree.

        He toes the line of believability.

        He likes to screw with your mind like that lol...
        I don't know man. Mind you, I haven't seen the whole sales letter, but this bullet seems both absurd and poorly written.

        Also, I'm a bit put off by Star Wars references and the image of puppies being thrown into walls.

        Plus, it's an improper use of passive voice.
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        • Profile picture of the author JasonParker
          Originally Posted by verial View Post

          I don't know man. Mind you, I haven't seen the whole sales letter, but this bullet seems both absurd and poorly written.

          Also, I'm a bit put off by Star Wars references and the image of puppies being thrown into walls.

          Plus, it's an improper use of passive voice.
          Well the beauty of copywriting is that the only opinion that matters is the cash register's
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