Email Copywriting--What's Working Now

Profile picture of the author RickDuris by RickDuris Posted: 03/04/2013
Had some free time on my hands recently.

So I entered an email copywriting contest. Thought it'd be a quick challenge.

I won. Below's the email.

The market? Web designers.

The product? A white-label SEO metrics dashboard.

Entries were judged based upon number of clickthroughs that resulted in sign-ups.

I thought you'd be curious about what's working now.

------------------

Subject: Web designers, how to crush your competitors

How do you compete in this hyper-competitive, cutthroat environment?

Answer:

Add more value than your competitors.

Differentiate yourself; Stand out from the crowd.

But how?

Give yourself a significant competitive advantage by giving your Clients
the SEO metrics they need to compete (and WIN) online.

When you do? You’ll be a hero.

The majority of web designers in the market are concerned with website
aesthetics, functionality and navigation. And rightly so.

They're critical to a website's success.

But--they do little to give their Clients the tools and information they
need to make the right decisions.

That's where you can come in. That’s where we come in. It’ll be what makes
you different.


It’ll make you shine.

Give your Clients access to SEO ranking and analytic data using a dashboard
customized and branded to you, and you’ll be showing you care about the
things that matter.

Not only that, you’ll be perceived as larger than life.

It’ll give you a decided, if not unfair advantage over the competition.

It'll show you care about not just looks, but about results. The steak, as
well as the sizzle you put into the website.

Whether you charge for this additional service is up to you. But just know
web designers are adding a sizable ‘bump’ to their bottom line each
month--one that they didn’t have to work for.

As well as position themselves as leaders.

It’s up to you. But if you want to set yourself apart AND increase cashflow at
the same time, you owe to yourself to check this out now while it’s F ree
to sign-up.


PS: Did you know having a feature-filled SEO dashboard branded to you has
incredible perceived value to your Clients?

It’s true.

>> Sign-up for F ree here
#copywritingwhat #email #working

  • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
    copyassassin
    show off

    adam

    p.s. congrats. well done email.

    p.p.s.:l I'd love know your thought process developing in your theme, structure, underlying pain points, and features/benefits.
  • Profile picture of the author Traffic Inc
    Traffic Inc
    Well done rick, nice job. Can I add it to my swipe
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    RickDuris
    Thanks, Adam.

    Obviously copywriting-wise, there's a lot going on under the hood of this email.

    And knowing you Adam, you probably see it.

    My edge is I understand this market.

    I know web designers are a frustrated bunch. Competitors are eating their lunch. Everybody and their uncle thinks they can design a better website.

    When they do land projects, they're working for peanuts. They're not getting the respect they deserve from Clients (as we saw in a recent post.)

    I wanted to tap into all that anger. "How to crush your competitors" seemed provocative.

    As a partner said this morning "I think the work was done in the subject line pretty much! "

    - Rick Duris
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
    Mark Andrews
    Short. Pithy. To the point.

    Not too long. Not too short.

    Creates a real feeling of...

    "What am I missing out on if I
    don't get this?"


    In other words... "I must sign up
    for this right now!"


    Wow! Look! Bonus! It's FREE.
    A no brainer offer of a lifetime.

    "Here willingly, have my name and
    email address. Please do tell me
    more. I want this right now with
    not a moments hesitation."


    Insatiable curiosity sparked and
    ignited.

    Excellent!


    Mark Andrews
  • Profile picture of the author TheSalesBooster
    TheSalesBooster
    Good stuff Rick. Thanks for sharing.
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    RickDuris
    You're right on all points, Mark.

    - Rick Duris

    PS: If copywriters want to understand one of the clinical copywriting things that drives this email's success, count the number of promises. It's deliberate. I'm slamming them, one right after the other.
  • Profile picture of the author BudaBrit
    BudaBrit
    I like the flow. I would sign up if I was a web designer.

    Thanks for the share
  • Profile picture of the author copyassassin
    copyassassin
    Rick,

    Here's some of the gems of your email, with my thoughts:

    How do you compete in this hyper-competitive, cutthroat environment?

    The old question to get the brain thinking. My guess is that this target likes to solve problems and figure out an answer:


    Answer:

    Add more value than your competitors.

    You answered in the inner question they were asking themself. You also frame the answer in such a way to set yourself up as the solution.

    Differentiate yourself; Stand out from the crowd.
    Most copywriters who would have used that line would have ******* this that line right there, but you did something very clever...

    But how?
    Every person in marketing knows about the "purple cow". We all know "Differentiate or Die".

    What you done (very well BTW) is given a HOW. I believe THIS is were you start to add believability to your email.



    Give yourself a significant competitive advantage by giving your Clients the SEO metrics they need to compete (and WIN) online.
    THIS is my favorite line in the entire email. This is were you put some curisirouty and authority into your email...

    1.) You know something they don't.


    When you do? You’ll be a hero.
    Now you're speaking to our inner need for validation and reconiquation. Not only will you be able to "crush" the compeitition, you'll be loved. And my guess is that this a male demo that probably doesn't get a lot of action.

    The majority of web designers in the market are concerned with website
    aesthetics, functionality and navigation. And rightly so.

    They're critical to a website's success.

    But--they do little to give their Clients the tools and information they
    need to make the right decisions.
    Your empathy paragraph. You get them and their pain points.


    That's where you can come in. That’s where we come in. It’ll be what makes
    you different.


    It’ll make you shine.

    Give your Clients access to SEO ranking and analytic data using a dashboard
    customized and branded to you, and you’ll be showing you care about the
    things that matter.

    Not only that, you’ll be perceived as larger than life.

    It’ll give you a decided, if not unfair advantage over the competition.

    It'll show you care about not just looks, but about results. The steak, as
    well as the sizzle you put into the website.

    A little ego stroking with enough reason why to make this believable.

    Whether you charge for this additional service is up to you. But just know
    web designers are adding a sizable ‘bump’ to their bottom line each
    month--one that they didn’t have to work for
    The promise of making more money. I'm getting turned on right now.


    As well position themselves as leaders.

    It’s up to you. But if want to set yourself apart AND increase cashflow at
    the same time, you owe to yourself to check this out now while it’s F ree
    to sign-up.
    Now you're really turning me on.

    PS: Did you know having a feature-filled SEO dashboard branded to you has
    incredible perceived value to your Clients?

    It’s true.

    >> Sign-up for F ree here
    [/QUOTE]


    final call to action with both feature, benefit, and emotional benefit.
  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Raydal
    Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

    My edge is I understand this market.
    I think this statement summarizes it all. When I read through
    the copy you don't sound like a copywriter but an empathetic
    friend. It's clear that you understand the market and its pains.
    You sound like "one of the guys".

    Great work!

    -Ray Edwards
  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    RedShifted
    Nice job. Thanks for sharing.

    Did you intend for the line "As well position themselves as leaders" to read like that? It seems a bit fragmented (maybe its a typo?) and that was the only line that broke my flow.

    Thought it would be worthy to mention since its right before the CTA.

    But everything else flows beautifully.
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    RickDuris
    Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post
    Nice job. Thanks for sharing.

    Did you intend for the line "As well position themselves as leaders" to read like that? It seems a bit fragmented (maybe its a typo?) and that was the only line that broke my flow.

    Thought it would be worthy to mention since its right before the CTA.

    But everything else flows beautifully.
    Yes, that was deliberate. Maybe I edited too much. Thanks for noticing.

    - Rick Duris
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    RickDuris
    Great job, Adam!

    Honestly, I wouldn't have come at it from that perspective. But there's nothing wrong with yours at all.

    - Rick Duris

    PS: Adam, you're inspiring me to analyze my own work. (Maybe I'll do it if enough people ask. Just hit the thanks button below, if you'd benefit from my take.)
  • Profile picture of the author colmodwyer
    colmodwyer
    Nice Rick... can we see the landing page just out of curiosity?

    Cheers,
    Colm
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    RickDuris
    Not much to it now: SEO Reseller Private Label SEO Resellers

    No idea who they are or what they're up to, but it was built out when I wrote the email.

    - Rick Duris
  • Profile picture of the author SeanIM
    SeanIM
    Raydal nailed it...

    Rick great work man...I know that market too as I've worked with them before and I can tell you...as I'm sure you know...you walked RIGHT into a conversation they've had several times (in their heads) and externally.

    2 thumbsup man

    I liked the 'shine'
    Originally Posted by Raydal View Post
    I think this statement summarizes it all. When I read through
    the copy you don't sound like a copywriter but an empathetic
    friend. It's clear that you understand the market and its pains.
    You sound like "one of the guys".

    Great work!

    -Ray Edwards
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    RickDuris
    Originally Posted by SeanIM View Post
    Raydal nailed it...

    Rick great work man...I know that market too as I've worked with them before and I can tell you...as I'm sure you know...you walked RIGHT into a conversation they've had several times (in their heads) and externally.

    2 thumbsup man

    I liked the 'shine'
    Well, now you're really getting under the hood, aren't we Sean?

    Think about it: Web designers are visual creatures, aren't they?

    The NLP VAK lens is definitely another way to look at the email.

    Great job, Sean.

    - Rick Duris
  • Profile picture of the author Lulu Chil
    Lulu Chil
    Hi Rick,

    Thanks for sharing this copy with us. Am interested in Copywriting. It made me feel like buying what the girl or guy was offering. I have sent you a pm.
  • Profile picture of the author Steve Hill
    Steve Hill
    Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post
    The NLP VAK lens is definitely another way to look at the email.
    It definitely has VAKOG elements in it, and it's always interesting to see how a seemingly simple e-mail can have so much going on underneath.

    Rick, if you did a self-analysis of this, I think a lot of people would appreciate it.
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    RickDuris
    Ok, let's do this analysis. And let's make this collaborative. As in, what do you see, that I or others may not see?

    Rather than start with lofty, abstract, philosophy, let's start with mechanics. We'll do this a piece at a time.

    Ok now. You've heard of keyword density, right? I'm focused on 'promise density.'

    Most everything I do, even when I write straight content, I'm interleaving promises. But as you can see, it doesn't have to sound forced, contrived or be over the top (i.e. hypey.)

    Below, I count 12 direct promises in red. And 4 indirect ones in lavender.

    There's nothing magical about the number 12. Just looking for every opportunity to pack them in.

    (If you look at almost any Eugene Schwartz piece for instance, try highlighting the number of promises. You'll be amazed.)

    ------------------

    Subject: Web designers, how to crush your competitors


    How do you compete in this hyper-competitive, cutthroat environment?

    Answer:

    Add more value than your competitors.

    Differentiate yourself; Stand out from the crowd.

    But how?

    Give yourself a significant competitive advantage by giving your Clients
    the SEO metrics they need to compete (and WIN) online.

    When you do? You’ll be a hero.

    The majority of web designers in the market are concerned with website
    aesthetics, functionality and navigation. And rightly so.

    They're critical to a website's success.

    But--they do little to give their Clients the tools and information they
    need to make the right decisions.

    That's where you can come in.
    That’s where we come in. It’ll be what makes
    you different.


    It’ll make you shine.

    Give your Clients access to SEO ranking and analytic data using a dashboard
    customized and branded to you, and you’ll be showing you care about the
    things that matter.


    Not only that, you’ll be perceived as larger than life.

    It’ll give you a decided, if not unfair advantage over the competition.

    It'll show you care about not just looks, but about results. The steak, as
    well as the sizzle you put into the website.


    Whether you charge for this additional service is up to you. But just know
    web designers are adding a sizable ‘bump’ to their bottom line each
    month--one that they didn’t have to work for.


    As well position themselves as leaders.


    It’s up to you. But if you want to set yourself apart AND increase cashflow at
    the same time,
    you owe to yourself to check this out now while it’s F ree
    to sign-up.

    PS: Did you know having a feature-filled SEO dashboard branded to you has
    incredible perceived value to your Clients?


    It’s true.

    >> Sign-up for F ree here

    --------------------------------

    PS: While you're counting, count the number of "you"s and "your"s.
  • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
    OutOfThisWord
    Hey Rick,

    Congrats on this winning email and thanks for taking the time to give us the skinny on the 'whys.'

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