11 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
11 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

What's Wrong With My Squeeze Page?

by Long Beach Nathan
9 replies
Hi. I recently made a squeeze page with a free opt-in, and I've driven a considerable amount of traffic to it, but so far I'm disappointed with the conversion rate.

Now I'm starting to wonder if there's something about the copy itself that might be putting people off, so I wanted to get your opinion on it. It's a traffic related offer, and the headline reads "Would You Like To Discover 5 Proven Traffic Magnets That Will Pull Visitors To Your Site?"

I thought it was a good headline before, but now I'm thinking I need to change it to something more like "Would You Like To Discover 5 Sources of Unlimited, Quality Traffic?"

I also realized I forgot to add a photo of myself, so that will help. But I'm just wondering there's anything glaringly wrong here.

Anyways, what do you all think? Thanks for any help.
#free #headline #opt-in #page #squeeze #squeeze page #traffic #wrong
  • Profile picture of the author betterwtveter
    What I have learned about splash pages is that you need to be personal with a brief story of who you are with your photo and a brief explanation on how you can solve their problem.

    When you are personal and can show you can solve a specific problem, they will want to learn more.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7925540].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author RogozRazvan
    Hi Nathan,

    Let's "tear" this squeeze page apart ...

    First of all, the headline - the wording
    is a bit strange. It just doesn't sound
    right ...

    A better version would be:

    "How To Pull Visitors To Your Site
    Using These Five Free Traffic Methods"

    Now let's make it a bit better by adding
    a stronger mechanism and a stronger
    claim.

    "How To Use Five Low-Cost & Free
    Methods To Pull At Least 1500 Unique
    Visitors To Your Site Each Month"

    The subhead.

    I don't know if I want my methods to be
    cool. I want to be able to scale them and
    to implement them relatively fast.

    The bullets.

    There is a reason why this "Kind Of Writing"
    is used in the headline. It attracts attention.

    But by using this on the entire page, you
    simply make the reader read it harder. So use
    normal writing on the bullets.

    The first bullet is the same as the headline so
    it's more or less useless. The second bullet is
    not a benefit - it is a delivery method so it
    shouldn't be there.

    OK, to make it short, make the bullets about
    the actual benefits delivered and use the other
    copy beneath the bullets.

    Also give a reason why you are giving this away
    for free and why this works

    That's enough for now. Get to work

    Good luck,
    Razvan
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7925573].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Dan Fisher
      yeah great response i totally agree wtth rasvan use the know like,trust,method when writing
      then you need to keep split testing it change 1 thing send say 1000 clciks to it
      does that convert higher if so keep that change and change something else one thing at a time until you cant get it converting any better always tweaking.
      is it mobile ready? it think the color of your op-tin button should be orange with big red arrows pointing to email sometimes ugly converts better i would maybe add an image of you're ebook cover or somthing a hot girl maybe or yourself above the optin box seems to be doing better than red these days
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7925641].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author lchiles
      Great overhaul there. Quality writing.
      Signature

      Introducing Simple Subject Line Secrets...
      A simple 7 minute trick Bond Halbert reveals on video--Use this to write headlines and email subject lines that force people to open your emails. So simple anyone can do this. http://awesome.chilesadvertising.com...ctlinesecrets/

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7925697].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Long Beach Nathan
      Originally Posted by RogozRazvan View Post

      Hi Nathan,

      Let's "tear" this squeeze page apart ...

      First of all, the headline - the wording
      is a bit strange. It just doesn't sound
      right ...

      A better version would be:

      "How To Pull Visitors To Your Site
      Using These Five Free Traffic Methods"

      Now let's make it a bit better by adding
      a stronger mechanism and a stronger
      claim.

      "How To Use Five Low-Cost & Free
      Methods To Pull At Least 1500 Unique
      Visitors To Your Site Each Month"

      The subhead.

      I don't know if I want my methods to be
      cool. I want to be able to scale them and
      to implement them relatively fast.

      The bullets.

      There is a reason why this "Kind Of Writing"
      is used in the headline. It attracts attention.

      But by using this on the entire page, you
      simply make the reader read it harder. So use
      normal writing on the bullets.

      The first bullet is the same as the headline so
      it's more or less useless. The second bullet is
      not a benefit - it is a delivery method so it
      shouldn't be there.

      OK, to make it short, make the bullets about
      the actual benefits delivered and use the other
      copy beneath the bullets.

      Also give a reason why you are giving this away
      for free and why this works

      That's enough for now. Get to work

      Good luck,
      Razvan
      That sounds awesome Thanks for giving detailed feedback! It makes a lot of sense. I should realized I had to be more specific in the headline too. I'm in the process of changing things now.

      And yes, this was before doing any split testing. I plan on doing a lot of it once I make these changes.
      Signature
      Need Music For Your Videos, Podcasts, Sites, etc? Get It Now On My YouTube Channel!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7926023].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author thenewseo
      Originally Posted by RogozRazvan View Post

      Hi Nathan,

      Let's "tear" this squeeze page apart ...

      First of all, the headline - the wording
      is a bit strange. It just doesn't sound
      right ...

      A better version would be:

      "How To Pull Visitors To Your Site
      Using These Five Free Traffic Methods"

      Now let's make it a bit better by adding
      a stronger mechanism and a stronger
      claim.

      "How To Use Five Low-Cost & Free
      Methods To Pull At Least 1500 Unique
      Visitors To Your Site Each Month"

      The subhead.

      I don't know if I want my methods to be
      cool. I want to be able to scale them and
      to implement them relatively fast.

      The bullets.

      There is a reason why this "Kind Of Writing"
      is used in the headline. It attracts attention.

      But by using this on the entire page, you
      simply make the reader read it harder. So use
      normal writing on the bullets.

      The first bullet is the same as the headline so
      it's more or less useless. The second bullet is
      not a benefit - it is a delivery method so it
      shouldn't be there.

      OK, to make it short, make the bullets about
      the actual benefits delivered and use the other
      copy beneath the bullets.

      Also give a reason why you are giving this away
      for free and why this works

      That's enough for now. Get to work

      Good luck,
      Razvan
      This is an amazing answer - detailed and productive. I would implement right away!
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7927031].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author BrainCopy
      Originally Posted by RogozRazvan View Post

      Hi Nathan,

      Let's "tear" this squeeze page apart ...

      First of all, the headline - the wording
      is a bit strange. It just doesn't sound
      right ...

      A better version would be:

      "How To Pull Visitors To Your Site
      Using These Five Free Traffic Methods"

      Now let's make it a bit better by adding
      a stronger mechanism and a stronger
      claim.

      "How To Use Five Low-Cost & Free
      Methods To Pull At Least 1500 Unique
      Visitors To Your Site Each Month"

      The subhead.

      I don't know if I want my methods to be
      cool. I want to be able to scale them and
      to implement them relatively fast.

      The bullets.

      There is a reason why this "Kind Of Writing"
      is used in the headline. It attracts attention.

      But by using this on the entire page, you
      simply make the reader read it harder. So use
      normal writing on the bullets.

      The first bullet is the same as the headline so
      it's more or less useless. The second bullet is
      not a benefit - it is a delivery method so it
      shouldn't be there.

      OK, to make it short, make the bullets about
      the actual benefits delivered and use the other
      copy beneath the bullets.

      Also give a reason why you are giving this away
      for free and why this works

      That's enough for now. Get to work

      Good luck,
      Razvan
      Razvan took the words right out my mouth. Also, if your making claims like you are in the headline, then show a screenshot of some traffic that you're getting.

      People LOVE proof.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7927121].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    whats are you calling a considerable amount of traffic?

    also did you split test while sending "considerable amount of traffic"?
    Signature

    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7925703].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DanteRomero
    First thing I notice, mate. Proof. More of it. Right in the headline. That guy who replied above me commented on his way of doing that. He gave a photo of himself and told a personal story. Setting himself apart from the faceless herd. The internet marketing niche is incredibly skeptical. They've all been burned before. And benefit-only headlines tend to just trigger their "bullshit mechanism" instantly. They just click away. That's the challenge. Even if you're offering something great, it has to SEEM true and great. And they've gotta believe what you are saying (hence more proof).
    Signature

    "Perfection isn't important. Improvement is."

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[7927789].message }}

Trending Topics