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Please Review My First WSO

by Valentine
7 replies
Hello Fellow Copy-Warriors.

I'm a non-native english speaker, and I'm starting out a business in minisite niche.

I've crafted my first WSO, but I need to revise it, because I might have gramatical mistakes there, and mywriting style can be a bit "weird" to read.

Can you help me out on this please?

http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...available.html

Thanx for reading!

Regards,
Valentin Spitsyn
#review #wso
  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    I dropped you off a few pointers. Suggestion though, what you should have done was used your WSO content in here and THEN ask us what we think. After it's cleaned up, you then take it over to the WSO for a live offer. Good luck though.
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  • Profile picture of the author Valentine
    Thanx Kevin!
    I've edited my WSO and basically did everything you told me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    Valentine,

    One things I'm seeing very wrong with your WSO is that you're selling yourself short. At the top, I see "respect, respect, respect"... get further down... "I'm a newb, I'm a newb, I'm a newb".

    You don't have to compare yourself to the competition and talk about the prices of others. THEY ALREADY KNOW what the price range is because they've been looking. They don't need to know that you have more complicated projects nor will they care about your intricate extra-curricular activities behind the scenes.

    Chop your copy down to about 2/3s of what it is now, display portions of the website directly in your post AND link to the sites with the images and actually have samples of the work you are offering to do. I.E. ecovers, headers, footers, order buttons, banner ads, etc.

    Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author Valentine
    Ok, I'll do that asap.
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  • Profile picture of the author Valentine
    Hello Fellow Copy-Warriors.

    I've just edited my WSO and followed every single advice you gave me.

    Please review my WSO once again and tell me if I have any viral mistakes there, before I bump it back to the first page please.

    With Great Respect,
    Valentin Spitsyn
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  • Profile picture of the author Kevin Lam
    Hey Valentine,

    That looks a lot better. I posted a message to get your thread up there again, however, you still need to change the title of your thread - it's what people see before they even read your entire thread.

    You currently have "$189 Custom Minisite Design. AT 50% DISCOUNT !! Only 5 Offers Available. Order Yours Now."

    To be honest, $189 is still high for a lot of folks around here. The price shouldn't be the first thing they see even if you say "50% discount". It's too much for people to think about. Get to the point.

    I'd change that to something like "Professional Quality Mini-site Design - Graphics That SELL!"

    You can change your thread title by going to the WSO forum and locate your thread. Using your mouse, place it slightly to the right of your thread title and double-click it. It should then allow you to change the title's text.

    Again, good luck with the WSO.
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  • Profile picture of the author Valentine
    Thank you Kevin.

    I'll do exactly what you've said .. and will let you know how I'm doing.
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