Destroy my mojo again - need critique
After the last critique I made a few (many) corrections to both my approach and the "style".
I feel that this variation of an OTO sales page is less crappy than it was before. But there's still plenty room for improvement. So, tell me what I can improve.
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I know, the grammar of the page must be... "unwell", but that will be the last thing I'm going to fix (I'll just hire someone to proof-read it).
Thanks!
Alex
Edit: Thanks everyone for your critique. It was very helpful. I will do my best to incorporate what you mentioned in my future writing.
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