One Page Website Sales Letter: Feedback, please

I'm putting together a very basic one-page WordPress website. Basically it's a sales letter.

Audience is the overworked, stressed-out biz person. My goal is to get that person to see I have an understanding of their problems and may have the skills to help them, as a generalist assistant.

The ONLY goal is to get them to call me , no left-legged emails. Do it - or pass. I'm only looking for two or three clients.

I was impressed with 37 Signal's Highrise homepage and want that sleek, results-oriented page. I want to have a large picture on the site, as Highrise does, and am torn between my own picture or a stylized typical client.

Once I get the page finished, I will decide how to get traffic. I am thinking of using LinkedIn and other forums that might be read by my targeted audience.

Thanks in advance - here's the copy:

How Many Sales Will you Lose Before You do Something?

You know exactly what I mean.

You’re so wrapped up in the business at hand, you can’t give new business opportunities the attention they need. Your pipeline springs a giant leak.

• Great leads or inquiries go unanswered, or get poorly handled
• You don’t keep in touch with past clients the way you should
• Marketing plans remain just that…plans
• Blogging, whitepapers, case studies, social media, forum participation, etc – all neglected because you’re too busy

And that’s only the business side of it – the all-important MONEY part.

What about the personal side? Friends, lovers or spouses that get shortchanged because you’re too busy to give them the time and attention they need?

All important Details. But details you’re too busy to handle the way you want to.

Maybe it’s a deadline you’re struggling to meet, a report you’re finishing, or a 1 pm flight to your next meeting: the point is you’re losing sales and life opportunities because you’re too busy to handle them.

I have a solution for you. One that will give you more business and more of your life back.

Me. Terence Collins. I am an American businessman and freelance results assistant. Conversant, confident, and successful dealing at all customer levels and in all media. Someone you can trust to do it just like you would.

I’m a reliable, get-it done professional. You get my 25 years of international sales, marketing, and C-level customer experience. Plus my writing and interpersonal communications skills that will have your prospects begging to spend time and money with you.

I will take a load off your shoulders and seal your pipeline leaks. And get the business done.

Which leaves you free to deal with pressing, top-priority activities, without worrying about losing any more new business.

How can I do that? Depends on your needs. Set up a phone call with me and find out. In ten minutes, we will both know if the match – and chemistry – are there.

If they are, we will work out the best solution for you. I fit myself to your needs.

Let’s talk about your business. And get specific on how I can lighten your load, increase your business and give you your life back.

In the process, you get more customers, more business, and a social life.
Yes, a social life. Remember that? Novel idea, eh?

I currently have room for two great clients.

If you need a professional to handle correspondence and all forms of client and prospect interaction: from marketing to sales to retention, or any form of communication – written, email, presentations, or on the phone, I’m your man.

I live in Asia’s Digital Business Center – Chiang Mai, Thailand. We’re 11 hours ahead of New York City. I’ll work while you sleep.

Call my US number: xxx-xxx-xxxx or Skype me at …… and let’s talk.
Relax, I’ve got it handled.