Copywriting + Infographics = You tell me! :-)

When I clicked on the link Mcafee popped up with a Warning! Suspsicious Site page.... So I didn't visit.

I would tighten up the spacing a bit so people don't get a finger cramp while doing all that scrolling...

I think it looks nice. It feels really really salesy and turns me off but hey, it might work for others.

This looks pretty interesting. The lead seems pretty interesting - it starts from awareness of the problem into breaking it down... leading to the problem, the solution then the product. I really like it from a copy perspective, but how does it convert on cold traffic?

James Fame

Hi Derek,

It's an interesting example. I like it. My only objection is your use of repetition.

For example, the "100's" graphic is repeated 3 times. I don't think that works. It's as if you were too lazy to create a new graphic!

In addition, your pay button is repeated 4 times. Once is probably enough. Twice, at most. But, in any case, 4 times (separated by only a small about of text) is too much.

People have been trained over time to know where the buy button is located (at the end). Using it 4 times makes it seem like you are pressuring them to buy... instead of enticing them to buy. Big difference.

Other than those two small points, I really like the extreme simplicity of the layout. There's no background tile or excessive design to get in the way of the message. Nice.

John

I think macafee has black listed your ip as a hacker or something of same kind try somehow telling them your are grenuine I dont know how to do it but i am sure check google you will get result

And your sale page is pretty interesting and good I enjoyed it

Brilliant implementation.

I'd love to see the results of this split tested against traditional long-form copy.

I would consider adding an eCourse with a subscribe form above the fold. It is very confusing to me. I understand your message but it took me a couple of times scrolling up and down, up and down, to figure it out.

If I were you I would write it out as a sales letter and mix in the photo's.
Think outside the box, just don't change it

Hey Everyone,

I just updated the look of the page, so that it looks a bit cleaner, and less sales-y!

Check it out and let me know what you think.

ReAction - Automate Successful Behaviors

Thanks!

Derek

Personally I don't like the sales page. The pictures in this case don't grab my attention, in fact they are rather annoying because they are so large that 2/3 of the page is taken up by images that are not actually conveying any part of the message of the sales page.

Is there really any value added when you create a big "25" yardstick after saying you've been in the business for 25 years? Or a big picture of a cheeseburger after the word "hungry"? I wonder if this even helps capture visitor attention, or just wastes space on the page where you could be communicating a stronger message with words.

I would do this, except leave out the photos altogether

Also to OP: I just realized that your main headline is pretty much the most vague, non benefit-related headline I've ever seen.

Derek,

I'd be interested to hear about your results once you've run some traffic to the page.

Here's a more copy-centric but similarly graphic-rich layout from Andre Chaperon that I've always liked:

Affiliate Bully

Best,

Brian

@Brian - When I get something tangible to share, I will. Initial results look promising!

@Patrick - Agreed! I changed it - let me know if it works better

Thanks!

Derek

Just a few questions about information I would be looking for: what about the references to your experience, study cases or testimonials? what makes you an expert in what you are selling and how many people have benefitted from it? are there proven results?

You do mention that you are an author of 5 bestselling books, but are they related to the topic being sold?

Cut the page into slides and make a sales video with voice over - do a a/b spit test to see what works best...

Hey Derek,

I've bought stuff from you a few times. The Action Machine and some great PLR/MRR stuff. I got your email the other day, scanned the letter and didn't buy.

I'm kind of on an "information diet" so that may be part of it. I'm always asking myself if I think a product is going to help me grow faster or distract me.

But really, nothing grabbed me about it that made me think "okay, I gotta have this right now".

I'm all for testing new things. I like the minimal approach in some ways.

But I really think that for info-products you really need to lay it on thick with bullets. The graphical flow is cool but it doesn't leave me thinking "I HAVE to know more".

With bullets (and I've read yours before) there's usually one or two that will catch me and get me to pull the trigger.

But that's me.

And this is by no means a critique of your page, just giving you my personal thoughts having looked at it as a potential customer a few days ago.

I'd be curious to hear how it does for you.

Good luck!

-Scott

The approach you've come up with is a good one. I might try it out some day. But I doubt this particular page will convert. it's not tight and focused enough. It relies on the graphics to tell the story, instead of having the graphics supplement the copy. And the graphics aren't really great themselves either.

Sorry if this comes off as overly critical, but I might as well tell it like it is.

@Scott - Thanks for being a great customer, and for your thorough feedback.

@The Copy Warriors - Thanks for your honest feedback - it's what I asked for.

Now, in response...

The general idea with taking this approach was to take the elements of a typical sales video, and lay it all out on a page.

Think of each section of the page as like a slide in a video.

The reason I wanted to try this is because I love the simplicity of most sales videos, but I didn't like that the content can't be easily scanned, either forward or backward. I'm not sure a lot of people do - sometimes you want to get right to the benefits, without all the 'warnings' or 'mistakes I've made in life' kind of stuff.

What I'm discovering is that I need a bit more of a hybrid - and I think I know what I want to do (based on all the great feedback).

Yes, I know there's the old adage about not reinventing the wheel, but peoples' attention spans, as well as their entire way of consuming information is changing, and I'm looking for ways to present ideas and content to them in a way that caters to this new mindset.

Some success, some failure, but always a learning experience! ;-)

Thanks again for all the great feedback!

Derek

I notice you switched to using a video, how is it performing compared to the previous implementations?

UPDATE:

Based on feedback on this forum, as well as test results, I went back to the drawing board (so to speak) and revamped the sales page with a mixture of text and graphics.

Please let me know if this works better:

Reaction

Thanks!

Derek

pretty good sales page but definitely I think too much text and needs more sub headers to properly seperate and make it more skimmable

"It's impact is Huge"?

@BrainMcLeod - Awesomely, awesome feedback! :-)

@adamprattler - Thanks- I'll keep testing with your feedback in mind

@ago - Good eye, my friend! Thank you!

Derek_Franklin thank you for the job