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NON-NATIVE SPEAKER: Please critique my "Warriors For Hire" offer

by Valentine
11 replies
Hello Copywarriors!

I'm about to launch my first WF offer, but I have a bit of a problem: I'm not a native speaker and my copy might have some grammatical mistakes and be a bit clumsy to read.

I offer minisite design, so I don't really have much to say, instead I let my work samples speak for themselves, so there's almost no text. This is really going to be quick.

So here's my offer:

Hello, I suppose you are an experienced Internet Marketer, and want to ask you 3 simple questions:
  • Are you tired of ugly websites and landing pages that infest internet?
  • Do you want to stand out from the heap of those "monsters"?
  • Do you want to have high credibility, so your customers will trust you more?

If you've answered YES to any of those questions, then you've probably been thinking about getting a custom designed website which fully corresponds your needs and needs of your customers.
If so, then I'm very happy to be at your service.

My name is Valentin Spitsyn and I'm an experienced web-designer. I'm not going to waste any time and qualify myself in this thread and let my work samples speak for themselves:
















You can also customize these packages with additional graphics on your choice:
  • Video Player Box
  • Text Formatting
  • Flash Animation (animated headers, ecovers, etc)
  • Other Custom "Call To Action" Graphics
Please ask your questions and place your orders in this thread, I will answer them shortly.

Regards,
Valentin Spitsyn
#critique #nonnative #offer #speaker #warriors for hire
  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    A couple of things: It's clear that English isn't the first language of the writer of this copy. But that's easily fixed. For very small money you can get any number of Warriors to get this offer in nice shape.

    The second item is that your prices are pretty high compared to what other Warriors are offering in the way of Web design. You might want to look at the WSOs and other site design deals floating around this forum and maybe adjust your prices to be more competitive. Good luck!
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    • Profile picture of the author Magic Johnson
      Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

      your prices are pretty high compared to what other Warriors are offering in the way of Web design. You might want to look at the WSOs and other site design deals floating around this forum and maybe adjust your prices to be more competitive. Good luck!
      189-396$ are these high priced? This designs are great looking and could be worth more than this sums if you ask me. Serious were do you get your numbers from??

      gl on the WSO

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    • Profile picture of the author Didier Faucher
      Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

      your prices are pretty high compared to what other Warriors are offering in the way of Web design.
      Maybe these Warriors price their services too low?


      Didier
      Signature

      Saya Mau Makan Angin - I Want To eat The Wind (Why not?)

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      • Profile picture of the author Valentine
        Originally Posted by Didier Faucher View Post

        Maybe these Warriors price their services too low?


        Didier
        In my opinion their prices are quite reasonable, comparing to what they have to offer.
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        • Profile picture of the author Didier Faucher
          Originally Posted by Valentine View Post

          In my opinion their prices are quite reasonable, comparing to what they have to offer.
          Ouch!!!
          Signature

          Saya Mau Makan Angin - I Want To eat The Wind (Why not?)

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          • Profile picture of the author Magic Johnson
            Originally Posted by Didier Faucher View Post

            Ouch!!!
            That's the kind of attitude I like from a designer/copywriter/writer/IM --- just prove that someone cares enough and willingness to improve in their profession.

            I never fear competitive personalities.

            Sometimes it's an must have if you want to work in certain fields and make enough money
            to get by month after month, and have food on your table.
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  • Profile picture of the author lenlatimer
    I agree, I would suggest you hire one of the Warriors - let them interview you and write your copy. Nothing wrong with having visual talents, and you do.

    For a WSO you should probably offer 50% off or there abouts. It is a little high for the beginners but not unreasonable. Good luck.
    Signature

    Len Latimer
    Copy-In-A-Box, an amazing Word Add-in Tool that adds Dazzle & Personality to your copy. My WSO

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  • Profile picture of the author Valentine
    Thank you warriors!

    Is there anyone who is interested in helping me writing a nice copy, and what would be your price?

    BTW, this is not a WSO, but a normal offer. But I was planning to run a WSO with a 30-40% discount, I'm not sure if I'm ready yet, but I might take 5 customers, so keep an eye on the WSO section.
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  • Profile picture of the author Cherilyn Woodhouse
    Wow, you're a kick-ass graphic designer that is for sure. Perhaps one of the copywriters in here (*cough* maybe me *cough*) would be willing to give it a quick run-over for persuasion, spelling, and grammar in exchange for some design work???
    Signature
    Take your product from idea to profit in less than 90 days! Work with me to develop and implement a step-by-step plan for success!
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  • Profile picture of the author Dmitry
    I think your art skills are pretty darn fine man!

    I have an idea about your copy... why don't you remove it?

    People are already searching for this, it's not like you have to push and sell them anything... just make the prices real cheap for the first 5 - a WSO.

    Get testimonials.

    Then increase the price a bit for the next 5.

    Get testimonials.

    And so on.

    Make your initial prices maybe 75% - 90% off. Yes, you must give first to receive. But this will build a strong portfolio for you here. People will love you. Then they'll be comfortable spending more with you.

    Make an offer too good to refuse and you don't need any sales copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Valentine
    By the way guys, I've launched my offer in the "Warrior For Hire" section. Good news is that I've lowered my price to a bare minimum but for the first 5 lucky warriors only.

    http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...er-inside.html

    - Valentine
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