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Any improvements suggestion?

by dariusdarius
9 replies
Hi all,Darius here.I have a product in the Spiritual,Dreams niche and it is actually converting at around 1%.

I have tested different headlines,different video versions,different prices, and testimonials and this is the best converting after 60K visitors.

I am looking to take it to the next level,so any kind of serious suggestions are highly appreciated.


Can't wait to your replies.
Darius
#improvements #suggestion
  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    Your headline and deck copy is too abstract.

    Pre-qualify me more. Who am I? Why am I here - looking for Lucid Dreaming?

    What EXACTLY can I achieve in my WAKING state (you know, physical reality) that isn't available to me - without your program?

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
      Thank you for the prompt reply man,I appreciate it!

      I have changed the structure,I have added the benefits in the upper part of the page and moved the "What my product will teach you" part under the video.

      Let me know what do you think!
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    It's bit too condensed making it difficult to read.

    Also people may immediately trip up over the word "lucid"

    It would help to explain it quickly.


    I like the fact there's a video and a sales pitch (giving people the choice - or they can do both - the video did stop and start a lot - it may be my ISP but I would check if all is Ok with your server).

    Now I know, what I'm about to say won't make me popular.

    Many, many marketeers do this - but I've never liked it - if you click off the page you immediately get offered a discount.

    Which penalises the good people who stayed on and bought at the full price.

    Always remember you are building a business not just one time sales.

    If people find out they could have got a discount and didn't - they won't be thrilled - and all the trust and credibility you create turns to dust.


    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      It's bit too condensed making it difficult to read.

      Also people may immediately trip up over the word "lucid"

      It would help to explain it quickly.


      I like the fact there's a video and a sales pitch (giving people the choice - or they can do both).

      Now I know, what I'm about to say won't make me popular.

      Many, many marketeers do this - but I've never liked it - if you click off the page you immediately get offered a discount.

      Which penalises the good people who stayed on and bought at the full price.

      Always remember you are building a business not just one time sales.

      If people find out they could have got a discount and didn't - they won't be thrilled - and all the trust and credibility you create turns to dust.


      Steve
      Thank you for the heads up,I was thinking about this,but it is actually improving the conversions,at least it works for me. But I also consider what you were suggesting!
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    • Profile picture of the author Memetics
      Originally Posted by Steve The Copywriter View Post

      Many, many marketeers do this - but I've never liked it - if you click off the page you immediately get offered a discount.
      I agree, it smacks of desperation to sell. A good product will sell on it's own merits.

      Had I been interested in this niche I would have bookmarked the page for future perusal...coming across a "confirm navigation" I would have unbookmarked it in annoyance.

      Consider this analogy: You're looking for a new car and visit the showroom.

      You like the car.

      The deal is tempting.

      The salesperson is amiable and you feel a good rapport.

      You decide to buy but want some time to think about it, to rationalise so to speak.

      Then when you head to the door the salesperson physically restrains you and says "Pleazzze buy this car, I'll give you another big discount"

      Are you more likely to buy it?
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      First we believe.....then we consider.

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      • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
        Originally Posted by Memetics View Post

        I agree, it smacks of desperation to sell. A good product will sell on it's own merits.

        Had I been interested in this niche I would have bookmarked the page for future perusal...coming across a "confirm navigation" I would have unbookmarked it in annoyance.

        Consider this analogy: You're looking for a new car and visit the showroom.

        You like the car.

        The deal is tempting.

        The salesperson is amiable and you feel a good rapport.

        You decide to buy but want some time to think about it, to rationalise so to speak.

        Then when you head to the door the salesperson physically restrains you and says "Pleazzze buy this car, I'll give you another big discount"

        Are you more likely to buy it?
        You have a point, but then,why all the big products use this techniques?Clickbank suggest using this technique,I do not believe they would want to earn less, right?
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        • Profile picture of the author Memetics
          Originally Posted by dariusdarius View Post

          You have a point, but then,why all the big products use this techniques?Clickbank suggest using this technique,I do not believe they would want to earn less, right?

          It depends on what the buyer is looking for.

          Neuro marketers use a heuristic called "The wheelbarrow" What it means is; Can the item be put in a wheelbarrow (in other words does it exist as a physical entity, say as a book, juicer, pair of jeans etc) and could fit in the barrow, and if so would the price of the item if converted into £1.00 coins - or whatever currency you use - be also placed in the barrow could you comfortably push it a 100 metres?

          If so then by all means put a confirm navigation popup as the buyer knows what they are looking for and the price isn't too much of a concern, and they will be pleased with the discount.

          If however the item is an abstract - say a course on lucid dreaming - then the buyer will want to research first, then buy as it's a bit intangible and the mind can't assign value to it. By confirming navigation it implies low value or someone "needy" for your cash.

          If it's something you can put in a wheelbarrow- say a Philippe Patek watch - but the barrow is going to be filled with 15,000 £ coins (which will take some pushing) on top then the buyer knows that by shopping around he could save a lot of money so will leave the site to continue his search. Confirming navigation to this is going to imply low value to a high value item and a aversion frame will trigger to deal with the cognitive dissonance.

          Bear in mind the buyer could have been 99% sold at this point and you just blew it.

          If lots of people are navigating away from your site without converting then there is a simple solution.

          Tighten up your copy till it's a tightly honed gem, some of the copywriters on here can help you with that in this thread if you ask them nicely
          Signature

          First we believe.....then we consider.

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          • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
            Originally Posted by Memetics View Post

            It depends on what the buyer is looking for.

            Neuro marketers use a heuristic called "The wheelbarrow" What it means is; Can the item be put in a wheelbarrow (in other words does it exist as a physical entity, say as a book, juicer, pair of jeans etc) and could fit in the barrow, and if so would the price of the item if converted into £1.00 coins - or whatever currency you use - be also placed in the barrow could you comfortably push it a 100 metres?

            If so then by all means put a confirm navigation popup as the buyer knows what they are looking for and the price isn't too much of a concern, and they will be pleased with the discount.

            If however the item is an abstract - say a course on lucid dreaming - then the buyer will want to research first, then buy as it's a bit intangible and the mind can't assign value to it. By confirming navigation it implies low value or someone "needy" for your cash.

            If it's something you can put in a wheelbarrow- say a Philippe Patek watch - but the barrow is going to be filled with 15,000 £ coins (which will take some pushing) on top then the buyer knows that by shopping around he could save a lot of money so will leave the site to continue his search. Confirming navigation to this is going to imply low value to a high value item and a aversion frame will trigger to deal with the cognitive dissonance.

            Bear in mind the buyer could have been 99% sold at this point and you just blew it.

            If lots of people are navigating away from your site without converting then there is a simple solution.

            Tighten up your copy till it's a tightly honed gem, some of the copywriters on here can help you with that in this thread if you ask them nicely
            Ok man, you convinced me to test and see how it goes without the navigation confirmation.

            Thanks!

            Also, guys, please if you have any suggestions on how to improve my copy,I am listening! Please be as precise as you can,as english is not my first language.

            Have a great day!
            Darius
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  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    Story I heard...

    A well known copywriter bought a TV from Costco and a few weeks later got a letter saying -

    "Our buyers got a better deal from the manufacturers and new customers get the same TV you bought for $50.00 less. We thought it only fair that you get the same. Here's your check"

    How cool was that?

    And where do you think the copywriter is going to shop in the future.


    Steve
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