When The "Help Save A Life" Appeal has little effect...

It would be a bit cruel to respond without making a donation.

So I have.

And I would write the copy from his daughters point of view.


Steve

Thank you, Steve ... just the sort of response I was hoping for ;-)

Can you go into a bit more detail? You said you would write the appeal from the point of view of the daughter, but from which angle? Something like: "This is my dad, and I love him, but he may die tomorrow."

Or would you do it some other way?

You would want to emphasize the trauma of watching your father having to go through all of this. The financial burden of medical bills and what it means for the family. In nonprofit copywriting "you" is the most powerful word at your disposal.

'Your contribution would bring life back to my father's eyes'
'through your help my father and us can finally breath a sigh of relief'

I would start it off like this.

"There is absolutely nothing worst than watching your father's dialysis fail.

And there is nothing better than seeing him smile knowing that a new kidney is on it's way"

Actually it is converting at 9-10%. And I took action and donated hours of my time and expertise when no one else did anything. I have been writing copy for two decades and it works very well for my own offers. Thank you very much.

Most people are here for a free lunch. Most Warriors are dead broke. That's a fact. They don't donate because they don't have the money, and this isn't a forum for fundraising. Essentially it's a forum for desperate people to learn how to make money online.

It's all well and good to talk about this or that, what you would do: I did something. And I'm continuing to do work on Tim's behalf.

You don't know how well your copy will convert until you post it. My copy converts, and that is a hell of a lot more than I can say for most copy on this forum.

I have tried putting a button above the fold, but conversions dropped off so I took it down. They went back up. I can't see the average donation, Tim can since it's his account, but I'll bet it's around $10-20. You need a lot of clicks to get $1000 from that.

Good thing Jason is doing.

Probably wouldn't hurt to put a video of Tim talking, etc. on the page...just a thought.