4 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
4 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Any improvement suggestions for sales page appreciated!

by krabople
3 replies
Hi all,

Myself and my brother have been working on a sales page and members' area for a product our Mum's written. It's been up and running on Clickbank for almost a week, so far with no sales.

We've done everything ourselves and neither of us really know what we're doing so I'd really welcome any suggestions on how to improve the sales page (sales copy or design). While I've got a lot of confidence in the actual product I'm fairly sure we could do a lot more with the sales side of things. I think I was under the false impression that if you put something on Clickbank it would automatically get affiliates and sell (I now realise how stupid that sounds!).

Anyway, the product is:

The Rapid Weight Loss Solution

Any comments would be appreciated!
#appreciated #improvement #page #sales #suggestions
  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    So, instead of listing 100 things that are wrong... take a look at what a million dollar sales letter looks like...

    Fat Loss Diet | Fat Burning Foods | Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle By Tom Venuto

    Tom has been around a long, long time... is known, trusted, and is highly credible.

    And I love his copy because it doesn't reek of hype or unsubstantiated claims.

    If you aspire to sell millions, copy what million dollar sales letters do.

    Study Tom's letter and you'll see that you're missing a lot of elements that need to be in there.

    for example, REAL proof and not just stock-image photos.

    You need to focus on how you're different/better/unique than all the millions of others in this niche.

    WHY you and your Mum?

    But again, check out Tom's letter and see how you have some work to do.
    Signature
    MILLION Dollar Copywriter Offering Written Sales Letter or VSL Script Worth $5,000 - Just $500!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8610302].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Benjamin Farthing
    The headline is worded awkwardly. You could say the same thing with half the words.

    You wouldn't want to, though. There's nothing special about it.

    With a market as packed full of competitors as weight loss, you need some serious positioning to stand out.

    What does your product offer that's unique? Whatever it is (and I don't see anything new in the body copy), put it front and center.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8610306].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author krabople
    Thanks both of you for your replies, your comments definitely ring true. I guess we really need to rethink the entire sales page as a whole
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[8610431].message }}

Trending Topics