Seeking advice on sales copy targeting attorneys

14 replies
I'm writing a direct mail sales letter for a client targeting attorneys for web design and SEO.

In my opinion, my client is being overly critical about my tone on the basis that "they're attorneys -- they're conservative". Cool, I agree. I've researched my target. Done my due diligence. We all know attorneys are factual in nature. To the point. Not generally responsive to hyperbole.

Problem is, he doesn't even want me using metaphors such as the following (on the topic of SEO):

"If you want to do battle at the 'Online O.K. Corral', there's really only two ways to go about it..."

And he blew a gasket over this one:

"And the best part? Blowing past your competitors on an upward-bound journey through Google-land -- where you get to set up shop as the new mayor."

(ranting) I mean, really? That's too over the top? (/ranting)

The letter is otherwise void of colorful copy (per his request).

Generally speaking, do you have a different approach for attorneys than for any other targets? Any advice you can offer?

Also, I'll head off any comments along the lines of, "You're the expert... take control of your client, etc." by saying that, 1) Although a decent writer, I'm really a newb, and 2) My client knows it because he's a good friend. Therefore, I don't have the same positioning with him as I would with someone else.

So beyond the topic of client relations and tensions, I'm really interested in any advice you might have for targeting attorneys.

I mean, they are humans. We all share the similar psychological makeup.
#advice #attorneys #copy #sales #seeking #targeting
  • Profile picture of the author Enfusia
    Hi, I've written copy for attorneys on 3 occasions and I would have to agree with your friend, I would never use the words that you're espousing in your argument.

    Truthfully, they are likely somewhat out of context but sound rather childish and adolescent in tone.

    I'm not being critical at all only attempting to help.

    But I mean "the online ok coral". I might do that if I were selling western style six shooter pistols (well, even then maybe not) but to lawyers?

    Yes, we all have the same basic psych but lawyers think their stuff doesn't stink.

    Just my opinion, Patrick

    P.S. I've been a copywriter for over 30 years.
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    • Profile picture of the author palmettomike
      Thanks, Patrick. Exactly what I was looking for -- honesty.
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  • I would start out with a more subdued approach, and try to get them to test more colorful copy once you have had some success.

    Either way, consider a two or three step process where you offer a free report or other bait piece. Here is how one attorney did it:

    Dynamic Copywriting: Freelance Copywriter Secrets: Finally! A Law Firm That Gets Marketing Right
    Signature
    Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
    - Jack Trout
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      Attorney's don't have time for fluff words and
      not getting to the point...fast.

      They bill by the hour and
      you'll annoy them for wasting their time.

      Ideal, say what's hard to resist
      in one sentence, max two.

      Next paragraph is the call to action.

      I've worked with a guy who has opened up accounts by
      keeping things as brief as that.

      He has sold $12 million of new technology into MacDonalds, P+G
      Burger King, Bank Of America Western Union and other biggies.

      Best,
      Ewen

      P.S. Fridays and weekends get the highest open rate for email
      with attorneys, so try it for print as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Originally Posted by palmettomike View Post


    I mean, they are humans. We all share the similar psychological makeup.
    Yes they are, and as such, they buy based on emotion and justify by logic just like everyone else.

    You can sell them quite handily without hype and without silly metaphors.

    How?

    Appeal to their driving emotions.

    Dimensonalize the benefits of the product.

    And make the offer irresistible. (Explain to your friend why this is so important.)

    Alex

    P.S. - If you sprinkle the copy with a few verbs that create mental imagery instead of "wimpy" verbs, that will give your copy color.
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  • Profile picture of the author mavericsumo
    Why not tell your friend to focus on what really matters...

    Your headline

    Let me quote 2 of copywritings greatests:

    How To Make Maximum Money In Minimum Time
    by Gary Halbert

    A famous mail order catalogue once attributed a
    1600% increase from an ad by changing the headline alone

    Making Ads Pay
    by John Caples

    2 tests run by a large Madison Avenue advertiser,

    First on multiple variations of body copy alone with
    the same headline and offer.

    The best copy pulled 50% better than the worst.

    Second on multiple variations of headlines alone with
    the same offer and body copy.

    The best headline pulled 400% better than the worst.

    Why don't you tell your client-friend you guys really need
    to focus on what's important...

    your headline

    Best
    Jay Corri

    PS Test it.
    Delete the copy in question and present
    a split test with and without the copy in question

    - no other changes -

    What gets the money stays in print.
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    • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
      Banned
      Originally Posted by mavericsumo View Post

      Why not tell your friend to focus on what really matters...

      Your headline
      Absolute rubbish. A snappy headline will make no difference if the bodycopy has crap like
      And the best part? Blowing past your competitors on an upward-bound journey through Google-land -- where you get to set up shop as the new mayor.
      And O.P. - since when are lawyers human? In my experience they are part of the Shark family.

      You need to find a Starbucks next to a courthouse and eavesdrop on lawyers conversations and channel that. You don't need the over-the-top stuff. You just need a good solid word or phrase that rings their bells. "Online O.K. Corral" and "set up shop as the new mayor" is just pure corn. Straight out of that bloody-awful Clickbank site.
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      • Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi View Post

        You need to find a Starbucks next to a courthouse and eavesdrop on lawyers conversations and channel that.
        Good stuff. Also find the bar near the courthouse where they all hang out. There's always one bar that is the main gathering place.
        Signature
        Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
        - Jack Trout
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      • Profile picture of the author mavericsumo
        Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi View Post

        A snappy headline will make no difference if the bodycopy has crap
        I guess I disagree.

        Certainly persuasive copy is necessary to close the sale and I wouldn't print
        any copy without knowing for sure the language matches the audience.

        But no matter how compelling your copy, if you fail to pull your lawyer in
        you may never again have the chance to sell him.

        I know you wouldn't print copy if it was complete and utter shit.

        The more lawyers you draw in to read your copy the more lawyers you will
        sell....

        'Must read' headlines bring more contribution to overhead without moving your
        bottom line

        Then and only then,
        after getting as many lawyers as I can to read my copy,

        am I interested in presenting my best dam pitch.

        If I can't make a sale maybe I shouldn't be in copy.

        Certainly we agree on 2 points here:
        1. pull more leads per investment - headline
        2. Turn more leads into paying clients - bodycopy
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        • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
          Banned
          Originally Posted by mavericsumo View Post


          'Must read' headlines bring more contribution to overhead without moving your bottom line
          I have no idea what it is you're trying to say here. As you say - maybe you shouldn't be in copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    I worked for an attorney billing company for a solid year.

    I did a bunch of stuff for them - from Adwords to writing some copy.

    Marketing to lawyers IS different. But just like anything, if you can find their triggers, they'll pay attention.

    That was my experience at least.

    What I found interesting is...

    Tons of attorneys were horrible with money. I mean... just God awful.

    They didn't send out bills for months. They didn't track their hours very well - if they did at all.

    They had/have an archaic perspective about building an effective website... and marketing it online (and off with things like postcards.)

    If you can figure out how to quickly capture their attention - by clearly pointing out how they're leaving an untold fortune in billable hours on the table... and how YOU can easily help them gobble that cash up, you'll generate conversions.

    Don't be too out there. The copy you wrote is atrocious.

    These are sensible people. Very analytical. As a copywriter, that's actually to your benefit. Get them fixating on your message. Sales will come.

    Mark
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Mike,

    Read the definition of PUFFERY here:

    Puffery - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Then go back, re-read your letter and highlight everywhere you find it.

    Now, you're reading it like a lawyer does.
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  • Profile picture of the author palmettomike
    Thanks for snapping me back into place, guys. If I'm being honest with myself, my copy has been influenced too much by the WSO section of this site. I'll just blame it on osmosis. There, I feel better now :p

    As I said earlier, I'm a newb to this game, but only from the perspective of the "getting paid" part. Been writing all my life, in one capacity or another... just never considered putting myself out there for pay. Until now.

    My problem is that I tend to invoke too much personality. Too much color (and at the most inappropriate times). Gotta temper that, I know. I digress...

    Those two excerpts were garbage; I wholeheartedly agree. Just wanted to pop my head back in here and say thanks to you guys for your input.
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  • Profile picture of the author tess47
    As a copywriter, writing for attorneys is 90% of my business at the current time. Lawyers simply want professional copy, written using the lingo lawyers typically use. They're not into "cool" language or cuteness, simply copy that attracts potential clients, copy that's persuasive and includes legal terms. They don't want to waste time - after all, a successful attorney is a very busy person, too busy to waste time on content that isn't written professionally or from a lawyer's perspective. Be sensible, to the point, without the fluff. Send a few examples of your work, and if it's good . . . "poof," you're in a very high paying content writing segment
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