How Direct Response Copy Can Sell Anything.

22 replies
Hey guys,

I thought this would be a neat example of how you can use direct response copy to sell nearly anything.

My dad owns a piano store, I used to work for him when I was younger.

He was contacted by a major music manufacturer to liquidate some inventory... Instead of the usual "Piano Sale" I said that we should try to take it online and see how we do.

This is an Ebay auction, it's been up for about 4 days, and we've already got several leads who I'm confident the majority of will end up buying.

You may be thinking I could have just slapped a picture of the piano and a paragraph of text or copied and paste the dry corporate text from the dealers website and it would sell, but you'd be wrong.

These things are nearly impossible to sell online, even at a fantastic price. So that's why I decided to give some direct response copy a try.

We're expanding the letter to it's own website, and I'll be driving traffic to it.

Over the next couple of months, at the rate it's driving leads now, this letter should be responsible for $700k in revenue and a nice commission for myself.

I've used similar approaches to sell houses and other big ticket items, and if you nail the copy it works like gangbusters. It's powerful stuff.

Want to see the letter I'm talking about? I'll post the link below. Let me know if there's anything you'd change

One thing we do need, despite the 140 100% positive feedback, is some social proof. We're making some phone calls to try and get that today.

Here's the link... Digital Baby Grand Below Wholesale Pricing. GREAT DEAL! - eBay (item 130308999659 end time Jun-02-09 11:05:36 PDT)

I REALLY hope you guys don't consider this spamming... I'm posting this to make a point, that copy can sell anything... I seriously doubt any of my fellow Warriors are in the market for a new digital baby grand piano.

Got a great product to sell? Get yourself some killer copy and start selling!

And for anyone wondering, no I don't work for the store anymore. I've just been contracted to run the "Piano Liquidation Department".

Peace,

-Scott
#copy #direct #response #sell
  • Hahaha - "Piano Liquidation Department" - I love it

    It's true, copy can sell anything... BUT the trick is, convincing others that it works. Not always easy.

    I once did a write up for my mom's house when she was going to sell it. The realtor poo-pooed all over my half-page DM letter. What did he end up going with?

    "3 bd 2 bth 1486 sqft home in quiet cul de sac. Priced to sell!"

    Yeah, that's gonna sell a house... I had a few words for him, and left it at that. Guess what? My mom still lives there. She took it off the market after 3 months with one showing, from a guy who wanted to rent it out and would have offered $40k under asking.

    Good sales copy really can sell anything - but if my experience is any indicator, unfortunately getting people to realize that will take a lot more than this post!

    Great post though. Love the copy, especially the part about the pianos not being "hot" LOL!

    - Cherilyn
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Thanks for the kind words.

    Yeah, it can be tough to convince people that copy works. Period.

    Luckily this particular client is my dad, he knows what I do for a living, and he knows I do it well.

    So, he basically handed the project over to me and said "Do what you think will sell these in the shortest amount of time possible."

    So I did.

    One way I've always overcome the objection that "Those long sales letters don't work" is to show them a long sales letter, and tell them how well it's working. That makes people a little more receptive to the idea.

    Thanks,

    -Scott
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  • Okay, I just wanted to add... I'm half way through the copy. Now, I don't play piano. At all. I haven't a single iota of musical talent in my whole body. But damn, man - you make me want to buy a piano!

    Lots of sound copy principles in there. I think I'm gonna add that one to my swipe file
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    • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
      Nice Ad, Scott -

      There are some things you need to consider. I'm a musician
      so I know some stuff and the questions than come-up in my
      mind may help you:

      - is this a cheesy plastic case for a synthesizer?
      - why is it shaped like a baby grand if it has no soundboard?

      Your description of the finish of the cabinet is meaningless to
      me. It could be plastic with paint on it for all I know... or
      worse, melamine.

      You have to understand (I was a furniture artisan) that you
      are selling a piece of furniture that does something. You've
      mostly argued here for what a great value the sound-engine
      makes it, but realistically I can buy a hammer-action synth
      for about a grand - so you really need to persuade me that
      this is a truly beautiful piece of furniture which will hold it's
      value or at least stay looking-nice for a long, long time.

      I wish we had had a grand when I was a kid, but we had
      an upright. Grand piano action is superior and helps you
      progress faster in learning the instrument - that's a benefit
      over an upright, for example.

      If you are gonna sell something that looks like a piano but
      really isn't, you really need to emphasize how much like
      a true GRAND it sounds. Social proof in this area would be
      most powerful. Nobody wants to get a heavy thing shipped
      to their house and find out they don't like the way it sounds.
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      • Profile picture of the author Bruce Wedding
        Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye View Post

        I wish we had had a grand when I was a kid, but we had
        an upright. Grand piano action is superior and helps you
        progress faster in learning the instrument - that's a benefit
        over an upright, for example.
        Reminds me of an old joke:

        Women are like pianos...
        If they're not upright, they're grand
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        • Profile picture of the author jan roos
          Really cool post and really good copy for the piano. I almost wanna buy it and I don't even play piano. :Lol

          Great work man nd all the power too ya.

          Cheers
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          • Profile picture of the author whereizzi
            Man, I wish I could order one of these right now... did your letter do that?
            It certainly inspires a latent wish to come to life, which is the point of a good direct-response letter. Well done, Scott.

            A couple of minor details from my first reading, like polishing up a few little streaks on the finish...

            ++++++++++++

            "It's the same sound engine that major recording studios use to lay down professional tracks for big name recording artists, "

            - Got some social proof here? Even to say "major recording studios in New York and Memphis" starts to nail down a picture in the reader's mind.

            ++++++++++++

            "The two biggest enemies of digital pianos are lighting and soda,"

            - I'm thinking you meant to say 'lightning'... otherwise it would be like Brenda Russell's "Piano in the Dark"!

            ++++++++++++

            "When you first turn on a Kohler KD-160, it's simply a beautiful sounding piano. You can just hit the power button and you've got a world class grand piano... Or you can dive in to the easy to use interface and...

            Your very own concert pianist... You can choose from literally thousands of titles, simply plug the disk in, press "Play" and your piano comes to life with beautiful music... Piano, accompaniment and all."

            - The fourth bullet is missing a verb at the beginning, causing a little stumble when reading that interrupts the flow of the others in the list. Maybe adding something like "Hear performances from..." at the beginning?

            You might consider adding a real-life scenario to this bullet as well, to match the others where you've brought the piano to life so well. My first thought was something about "underscoring a dinner party with the thrilling sounds of a live performance"...

            I'll bet you can come up with something better.

            ++++++++++++

            In the caption under the first piano photo:

            "...Eliquant..."

            -Not sure what you meant this word to be... "Elegant"?
            "Eloquent"? (doesn't really fit technically, but it evokes a feeling of culture and sophistication)

            ++++++++++++

            Overall, this is a thrilling letter, Scott. Nicely done!
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Haha,

    Thanks Cherilyn. Swipe away!

    One line I may need to change, may sound bad if it's taken out of context...

    " or nailing that new score without waking the neighbors."

    -Scott
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Loren,

    I appreciate the feedback.

    I understand this market VERY well, I've sold hundreds of these things.

    No, it's not just a synthesizer in a cabinet. It's a full blown digital piano, on par with with a late model Roland or a Yamaha Clavinova...

    The case is designed to be aesthetically pleasing, but it has a more powerful speaker system...

    My target market here are Churches and Schools... And occasionally people who want a piano that sounds great, makes a great piece of furniture, and don't want to spend $20k to get it.

    A lot of people looking at this ad are ALREADY interested in this particular model, so I'm just selling them a little bit more and convincing them why they need to buy from us.

    Audiophiles like you, who are happy with a synth, aren't my target market.

    EDIT: You're right about social proof, and they DO sound like a true grand, I'm working on getting testimonials and a video presentation put together this week.

    Another thing, I WANT people to have at least a question or two, because these deals are closed on the phone, and then processed through Ebay... I don't want anyone purchasing one without talking to me first, so that's part of the reason I purposely leave a few questions unanswered.

    Thanks for the feedback though!

    -Scott
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Will do. We have a small sample, but judging from the leads coming in, and the quality of the leads, I think it'll do well.

    I have a feeling we'll have at least 2-3 sold by the beginning of next week.

    -Scott
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    BIN Damn it!

    Haha, kidding. Thanks man, I appreciate it.

    -Scott
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  • Profile picture of the author rmoffice
    I have a question...Maybe you can help me...

    Can we sell a Swipe file?
    I explain you. I visited almost 50 websites a day (landing and sales letter) and each time, I did a screen shot. So, my idea is too sell my own swipe file on internet.

    Is it LEGAL?

    Thanks for your reply.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    This is classic!

    Disclaimer: These pianos are not "hot"... Not salvaged, and they didn't fall off of the back of a truck. We have a perfectly LEGAL reason to sell these for less than the wholesale price.

    Reminds me of the Gary Halbert,

    Wife Of Famous Movie Star Swears
    Under Oath Her New Perfume Does Not
    Contain An Illegal Sexual Stimulant!

    I don't know if you were thinking of that ad but this is a
    great adaptation of the idea behind that headline.

    Great job!


    -Ray Edwards

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    • Profile picture of the author jlbraaten
      Definitely try Joseph Sugarman's book, The Adweek Copywriting Book. This man is a brilliant direct marketer.
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  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Wherizzi: GREAT FEEDBACK! Thanks man, you make some very valid points that I'll take into consideration on the next draft.

    Raydal: Thanks! I'm honored, and I mean that. I have a lot of respect for you and your work. I'd be lying if I didn't say that Halbert doesn't influence almost everything I write, I've studied him as much as anyone else.

    jlbraaten: I've read Sugarman's book... Several times. Great recommendation though, and I'd agree, if you don't have it buy it and read it. Maybe my headline should have been "Pet Piano", haha.

    Thanks to everyone else who replied... And just FYI guys, response from actual customers to this auction have been FANTASTIC...

    There's 1 bid right now, but it's also generated a lot of leads for future sales...

    I thought this would be a fun little live case study, and it has been.

    Thanks again,

    -Scott
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  • Profile picture of the author James Spinosa
    This is why I still go around on forums, I love seeing creative marketing tactics. DR works in many niches and I never would've gone about promoting pianos this way myself, the copy is pretty well written as well.
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  • Profile picture of the author copywarrior
    Well Scott, Ive done some research on some of your 'other' sales letters and you absolutely rock man!! Great going...you've a new fan
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  • Profile picture of the author Tam Chancellor
    I was doing a Google search for direct mail copy and this thread came up. It's number 6 out of 12 million plus results. This thread ranked higher than Ezine Articles. This forum has some serious juice!

    BTW..love the auction copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    Scott,

    Holy crap man... that is some SEXY copy.

    Just one extremely minor point... where you're talking about the flute sound, they're "tone holes". Not "sound holes" (same with saxophones in case you were wondering).

    I doubt that change will make a difference with conversions... but just thought you might like to know.

    I thought it was a brilliant letter in the fact you hit the emotional hot buttons right up front. The way it feels... the way it sounds... being able to express yourself without the instrument "getting in the way".

    I can't play piano well enough to justify one of these babies, but man, that was a nice letter.

    -Dan
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    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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