Abysmal Opt In Rate - Help Please

You're messing up some of the basics Kevin.

1. Header graphic takes up way too much of the page
2. Opt-in box should be "above the fold"
3. Headline text too small

To me, the headline is not believable.

I'll let somebody else critique the body copy for you.

Alex

Kevin,

I've done a lot of copy for the pick up niche, dating, etc... and some of the best results I've gotten with my opt ins is by having a VERY specific benefit spelled out in the headline.

Like, ULTRA specific.

Not saying that works in every case, but it sure did for one of the clients I helped in this niche.

Specific, as in ONE BIG tip that guys were dying to know. I started using this approach after having an optin page in the fitness market that was crazy effective... something like 65% of the site visitors opted in.

And it basically said something like "Here's ONE Thing You Can Do When You Go to the Gym Tomorrow That will Add 30 Pounds to Your Bench Press... the First Time You Try it"

That's just paraphrasing, because it's been a while since I've seen it... but I've used that "single idea approach" for many opt ins and have gotten 50% and higher on many.

I used it in an ad I run here in town, for my marketing agency... and it goes something like...

"Give Me 20 Minutes and I'll Show you 3 Simple Ways you Can Double Your Business Sales, Profits, and Cash Flow in the Next 30 Days or Less"

That's not the exact ad... but it gives you an idea. And since I direct people to a website where I have an opt in page... it usually gets over 55% opt ins.

Right now... you're using "Dozens of Beautiful Women" and "Dozens of Dating Sites" which isn't horrific... but it's not that specific. It's pretty broad and generic.

If you narrow and drill that down to one killer idea, or one huge secret... something that guys would be dying to know... that should hook more guys in.

Compare that to...

"Here's a Fool-Proof, Works-Every-Time Trick for Not only Getting the Phone Number of Any Hot Chick You Want... You'll Have Your First Date with a Perfect 10 By this Time Tomorrow..."

Now, Kevin, I'm just winging that off the top of my head, because I'm not going to use the same headlines I've written for clients... but you get the idea of how I drilled down to one secret... one method, etc...

Again, this is just one method, one that worked well for me, so it may not work for every case.

But if you can go from "broad and general" to ultra specific... and put your own unique twist on it... and write something that ONLY YOU can claim... that should work better.

shawnlebrun.... Thanks Shawn for your response. Great input and I'll will absolutely take action and split test with your ideas.

hpgoodboy ...... I prefer bluntness. I agree. Sigs coming off.

ewenmack ...... Thanks Ewan ..... Great tips.

Your feedback won't be wasted and I'll be taking action to fix this. Thanks all !

Try also putting in "Instantly Download The Free Book that will ..." in your headline, so opt-ins know exactly what they're getting in return for their email address (you have a slide in the video, but not everyone will watch it; is there supposed to be sound? Because I didn't hear any).

You might also include three bullets of what's in the book ... to give any additional specific tips in the specific way Shawn describes.

You have some good tips so far.

Something else.

When you say "How Any Average Joe Can Attract Dozens of Beautiful Women Through Online Dating Sites, Almost Overnight!" you're subcommunicating that the dude that jumps on this information is an average joe.

Now if you asked 10 guys if they're an average joe, 8 or more of 'em are gonna tell you they're above average. No one is going to admit they're average, even if they're desperate and they can be fairly anonymous online.

You're losing before you even start.

Contrast with this "How Average Joes Are Meeting Between 8-12 Beautiful Women Through Dating Sites Every Day!"

There are other things. But that's all I have time for.

Hi Watles Fan,

I see you got great input on this thread.

1. First Concentrate on getting higher conversion on the first link you placed on this thread and learn from there the lessons.

2. Forget about average joe like Copy Monster said and target your audience. Ex: "how did ugly Jack Strut"instead of average Joe; or " How his fat Harry Tompson attracting dozens of beautifull women through dating sites and then getting to meet them for drinks."
3. Extra though - add the fact that this will lead to meeting the women in real life - this will be crucial factor for your conversion rate.

Success with your project and keep testing until it works,

If I could add my two cents I would remove the stock photograph and use a picture that looks less like stock photography. Here's a great article about it that is backed up with data and not opinions:

How Images Can Boost Your Conversion Rate

Hope it helps you out!

Peace,
EJ Lear

Wow,

Thanks all for your input. Much appreciated

I ended up buying a WSO that makes squeeze pages real easy. My opt in rate is now up to 15% with this new squeeze page. A 200% improvement on what I had.

If any one wants to have a look they can see it here. I'm still welcoming constructive criticism.

This page is for 40-45 age group. OptEarly40 | Kevin Hallow

When the video started I focused on the video. I then paused it and the yellow background made everything around it look minimal. Perhaps not a bright yellow background for the video? A bright yellow 'Get it now' button would suit more. IMO