A common trend in copywriting that needs to stop.

15 replies
I was reading through "The Adweek Copywriting Handbook" a few days ago and came across something that I have been noticing a whole lot lately.

Take a look at much of the copy (check the WSO's) out there, especially that written by those who are new to the trade. Which, you can't really fault them for this as they are new.

Anyway, take notice of the first few lines. Do they blend together or are they separate ideas placed randomly without any harmony?

A popular formula is 'Headline -> Sub-Headline -> First sentence'. These should each lead into each other, but lately I've been noticing a lot of writers missing this one common sense idea.

Here's an example from my swipe that Jim Rutz wrote.

[image of newspaper clippings about the stock market plummetting]
Had Enough Yet?

Your portfolio doesn't have to get a black eye whenever the Dow takes a beating.

Because now a former investment banker to the Super Rich spills the beans about how you, too can divorce the Dow, make money 24/7, and multiply your returns 5-10 times over.

By Neil George,
Editor, Personal Finance

The Dow has become one wild and crazy roller coaster ride.

And most investors are helplessly dreading the next big stomach-churning plunge...
Jim did a great job of forcing the reader right into the copy. He grabbed the readers attention, then went right into explaining what he meant.

Catchy headlines are great (and necessary) but if you don't follow it up with what the reader is wanting to know, you've lost the sale.
#common #copywriting #stop #trend
  • Profile picture of the author megaresp
    Originally Posted by scheda View Post

    Catchy headlines are great (and necessary) but if you don't follow it up with what the reader is wanting to know, you've lost the sale.
    Well said.
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  • Profile picture of the author CopperCopy
    LOL! Nice one, Onslaught.

    I actually like that! You should test it to see how it performs. lol
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  • Profile picture of the author megaresp
    Originally Posted by scheda View Post

    I was reading through "The Adweek Copywriting Handbook" a few days ago...
    Your post inspired today's blog entry: Ad Headlines from Hell
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    66 ways to get links (and traffic) to your site.

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  • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
    For sure the people mismatching a headline and a sub-head are not copywriters so I think you are posting this in the wrong section
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    • Profile picture of the author Hugh Thyer
      I've always been taught that the headline's only job is to get the prospect to read the first line.

      The job of the first line is to get them to read the rest of the first paragraph.

      If you follow a great headline up with a poor opening sentence then you've lost them.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Spinosa
    Originally Posted by Onslaught View Post

    I am way beyond those newbies-

    Wife Beats Husband to Death With Cat

    ....find out the secret to making money while you sleep


    I think it is stuff of legend
    You should try that on a site you run, I am curious to see how it would convert. I'm sure you'd hit one or two people that thought it was funny enough to buy the product
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    • Profile picture of the author copywarrior
      Originally Posted by James Spinosa View Post

      You should try that on a site you run, I am curious to see how it would convert. I'm sure you'd hit one or two people that thought it was funny enough to buy the product

      true....people are far more cynical and suspicious these days than they used to be...they also have a lot less time...funny just may not cut it any more...
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  • Profile picture of the author Dean Dhuli
    Originally Posted by Onslaught View Post

    I am way beyond those newbies-

    Wife Beats Husband to Death With Cat

    ....find out the secret to making money while you sleep


    I think it is stuff of legend
    Lol!

    A good one, indeed.
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  • Profile picture of the author copywarrior
    One of the best approaches I've seen is to directly bring out a problem and then offer a solution...has always worked for me...
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  • Profile picture of the author vistad
    I have been taught that the first line of a para is called the topic line and talks about the entire para. The last sentence of that frame/page converges should converge with the heading.
    But once you have change in font size, colors and a whole lot of presentation variations the rules change. cheers
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  • Profile picture of the author whereizzi
    "But once you have change in font size, colors and a whole lot of presentation variations the rules change."

    Oh, I'm not convinced that they do...

    The string that keeps the reader engaged always has to be there. And it can be a pretty fragile 'golden thread' to break. Once you lose a reader's attention or belief, it doesn't matter how bright the headline colour is!
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  • Profile picture of the author Uncle Dimitry
    "with a cat" hahahahahaaaa )))))
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  • Profile picture of the author mmslax2
    Great point scheda thanks for the reminder
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