Help, My Squeeze Page Bombed

by cbx
13 replies
Hi all,

I've recently just got around to creating a squeeze page for an ebook I created and only more recently got around to starting a PPC campaign to drive traffic to it.

I started the PPC campaign 2 weeks ago and have only gotten 1 opt-in last night. (not even sure it came from that)

Anyway, I feel it could be doing better and I'm not sure why I'm not getting more clicks (I'm up to 9 according to my bing account)

So, before I analyze my ppc advertising approach, I want to make sure that I have a decent squeeze or find out if I need to go back to the drawing board on that one.

I hired a couple of fiverrers for this one and I'd appreciate some genuine feedback on whether they did a good job.

My squeeze link;
Free Fitness Book!

thanks,

Clinton
#bombed #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Hail Eris
    Well, off the cuff, the irregular casing all over the place isn't doing it any favors, for darn sure. I'm not sure it would make a big difference in your opt-ins between using title case or capitalizing every first letter, but the inconsistency looks bad.

    That's possibly just a nitpick.

    What's more immediately noticeable is that both the logo and the image are low-quality, and the text beside the image is rough, and that's positioned to be the first thing you see. Not the best foot to put forward.

    All-in-all, it looks really, really cheap just on first glance, even before you get to the copy. Maybe someone else is in the mood to tear the copy apart.

    Yeah, I'd definitely work on fixing this before you lay into your PPC campaign.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bill Jeffels
    It's obvious to me right away. You talk about what you learned from these guys.

    Bullet points about what got them into training. Their philosophy and their attitudes.

    How they take care of them selves and how they avoid injury.

    Hold it. WIIFM. What's In It For Me. What is your prospect going to get by giving you their email. Your talking about how you grilled these guys.

    Okay ,well give me some bullet points of a few curiosity secrets you're going to reveal that are going to Benefit Them

    Also, less bullet points, more benefits.


    Bill


    .
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  • Profile picture of the author shawnlebrun
    Clinton,

    Put yourself in your prospects' shoes... if you landed on this site, as a fitness enthusiast, would it entice YOU?

    Best squeeze pages offer something ULTRA specific.

    They're also intriguing, create curiosity, etc...

    Think of magazines in the news stands... ones like the Enquirer.

    They have to sell those things with the headlines and cover copy.

    Well, same with your squeeze... you want to get them WANTING to opt in because there's something intriguing and they're curious enough to find out what it is.

    Think the Enquirer or fitness magazines... think of how they try to get people to walk by them on the news stands... and something on the cover will grab the person and get them to buy.

    Well, use that same philosophy on squeeze pages.

    Pretend you're trying to sell a magazine and you need to use that cover space to get people to pick it up and buy it.

    There's not much difference between using great copy on a magazine to get them to buy it... and having great copy on your squeeze page to get them to opt in.

    In other words... you need to know your market.

    What's their SINGLE biggest fear?

    What's their SINGLE biggest wish or desire.

    Your squeeze page should address one or both of those...
    and again, give an ultra specific benefit.

    Now, this isn't the greatest example because it's not really a squeeze page...
    but see how Mike offers something specific...

    Free Fat Loss Report, Metabolism Calculator, Nutrition Tips, and free fitness newsletter

    But that your page is all over the place? It has no real specifics as to how you can offer something to your reader that will either help them solve a problem or fulfill a desire.

    One of my old fitness squeeze pages converted close to 65% of the site visitors.

    And it basically said something like "Here's ONE Thing You Can Do When You Go to the Gym Tomorrow That will Add 30 Pounds to Your Bench Press... the First Time You Try it"

    That's just paraphrasing, because it's been a while since I've seen it... but it had over a 65% opt in rate.

    Of course, my traffic was spot on too, and very targeted, so that matters.

    But you need to think of a HUGE problem your prospect has... or a HUGE goal... and build your page around that.

    One of Tom Venuto's old squeeze pages said something like...

    3 Crucial Steps For Getting Your Body "Un-Stuck" And Burning Fat Today…

    And then he had 3 great bullet points that enticed people to sign up to learn those 3 crucial steps.

    Your problem right now.. there's nothing specific enough to entice me to sign up because I want to learn that.

    My advice, treat it like a magazine and try to sell your "magazine/optin" with specific copy that's targeted to specific benefits for your reader.

    And also, you can find some of the top ones online and just reverse engineer them and use your own thoughts/words.

    Oh, and get rid of those links at the top of your page, they are just off ramps that your prospects can take to get away from your goal of having them opt in.

    And skip Fiverr.com, you'd get more out of your money by tucking it right back into your own pocket and figuring it out yourself... you don't want to put your hopes on the back of someone who charges you $5.00....

    Hope this helps
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  • Profile picture of the author kymhaze
    Clinton,

    Great advice from Shawn. Just want to add, when you do get it written the way it should be written, have someone proofread it. The current version has problems that are very unprofessional which, of course, affects your credibility. Examples:

    SIMPLY ENTER YOUR NAME AND EMAIL TO TO GET THIS GUIDE
    [double TO]

    What I Learnt After Interrogating 6 Top Expert
    ["learnt" isn't a word, "learned" is the correct past tense of learn; "discovered" would be an even better choice.] [Plus, don't you mean "while" or "from" instead of "after"? Didn't you learn/discover "while" you were interrogating the experts, or "from" interrogating the experts?]

    These are just examples to give you an idea of why proofreading is important. The specific items I've listed may no longer apply once you've rewritten your copy.

    Good luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author cbx
    Thanks guys. I can always trust wf members to tear into it with some ruthlessly honest feedback. Just what I need.

    That was the second time I ever hired a copywriter (the first time, I paid a fair bit more than $5) and what I find when getting someone else to write copy for me is, A) I always feel inauthentic reading back their copy and, B) there's always a lot of big, flashy word stuffing (sometimes to the point that it makes no sense).

    I will do some research and have a crack at making a more specific sounding squeeze.

    Thanks again guys.

    Clinton
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  • Profile picture of the author JonMills
    Originally Posted by cbx View Post

    Hi all,

    I've recently just got around to creating a squeeze page for an ebook I created and only more recently got around to starting a PPC campaign to drive traffic to it.

    I started the PPC campaign 2 weeks ago and have only gotten 1 opt-in last night. (not even sure it came from that)

    Anyway, I feel it could be doing better and I'm not sure why I'm not getting more clicks (I'm up to 9 according to my bing account)

    So, before I analyze my ppc advertising approach, I want to make sure that I have a decent squeeze or find out if I need to go back to the drawing board on that one.

    I hired a couple of fiverrers for this one and I'd appreciate some genuine feedback on whether they did a good job.

    My squeeze link;
    Free Fitness Book!

    thanks,

    Clinton

    Your benefits are below the fold

    Poor use of graphics and layout

    Lack of curiosity
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    http://www.thecopywriterwhisperer.com/ Persuasion at it's best!
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  • Profile picture of the author DWaters
    Excellent advice from the folks above. Mine may be nit-picking but I think I noticed that you did not have any keywords for your page listed in the source code. The keywords you use in your Bing campaign need to be specific and having them match the keyword for the page may help a bit.
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    Want to get rich with top rated FREE Super Affiliate Training?
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  • Profile picture of the author Don Grace
    That was the second time I ever hired a copywriter (the first time, I paid a fair bit more than $5)
    Looks like you got EXACTLY what you paid for. Hiring cheap article writers posing as copywriters will cost you FAR more than just doing it right the first time and hiring a pro with a track record.

    You said you've had just nine clicks? You do need to test at least a few hundred to get a feel for what your converting at. THEN you can start split testing different elements.

    Best of luck.
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    • Profile picture of the author Rhadoo7
      There are definitely a lot of things that need to be improved on the squeeze page.

      Instead of writing them all, I'll just give you 2 examples of some great landing pages in the Fitness industry: this and this (no, they are not my pages).
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  • Profile picture of the author brutecky
    "Who Else Wants To Pack on More Muscle Mass And Strength in Less Time Than Most Other Guys Gain In Long Years Of Blood, Sweat And Tears?"

    That headline is confusing, grammatically incorrect, and not well written. Keep it simple:

    "Proven system will let YOU pack on muscle mass and strength quickly and easily"
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  • Profile picture of the author annie800
    The one thing I didn't like on the website was the word "interrogated." To me it sounds too negative. Maybe a less negative word could be used.
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  • Profile picture of the author wrcato2
    First off, I am on your side. Everyone of use here has been where you are now. With that said, Why are you giving away the eBook? Why not sell it instead. Then force the buyer to sign up to your list before you send them to the download page. You can bribe them with free lifetime updates.

    That is what you are doing with that squeeze page. You are trying to sell prospects on a give away.

    Why not tell people why they should join your list with your headline and subhead and then list 4 or 5 benefits of having the privileged to be on your list, and offer the free eBook for taking the time to fill out the form.

    Here is a simple squeeze page no graphics and defiantly not an affiliate link
    http://www.iheartz.com/bpie-gift.htm

    notice how simple this page is- anybody can do this.
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  • Profile picture of the author cbx
    @ JonMIlls: It only occurred to me recently that the squeeze box is below the fold

    @DWaters: Is that why my bing account tells me I have poor landing page relevance?

    @Don Grace: Do you mean a few hundred bucks? My budget ain't that good. Is there a cheaper way to go about it?

    @Rhadoo7: Thank you for those 2 examples. They are really clean and to the point. I'm thinking of doing something with far less text and maybe no bullet points because I find myself often drawn to squeeze pages that just has a header, an image and a promise.
    Do these kind of squeeze pages convert better or worse than ones with bullet points? I know I'm probably asking a question that depends on a bunch of factors.

    @Bruteky: That headline is a good example of the word stuffing I referred to last post.

    @wrcato2: I like the idea of changing the focus of the opt-in from the ebook to the subscription with the ebook as a reward. I did recently use it as an incentive to my current subscribers for filling out a survey. It didn't work well but then again, my list is reeally puny.
    As for the idea of actually selling it and building a list trough the sales, I like it but I don't know if I could get it to convert it that well. (especially on a small budget)

    Thanks again guys,

    Clinton
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