Sales letter critique please

It seems like a product that is quite unique, but honestly the letter doesnt sell it well.

It's just a normal letter, derelict of any emotional triggers or words that want the recipient to just wanna grab it ASAP...if you know what I mean!

You need two other call to action 'buttons', get rid of the FAQ and embed that info in the letter, better pictures and as earlier stated more emotional triggers.

Just my 2 cents.

Are you planning on actually mailing this to them or are you turning it into a web page?

I'd flip the letter round a bit if I was you. You need to catch their attention immediately so put your key selling points at the top... im talking in the first couple of lines.

You need to really make them want to purchase it or get in contact with you so remember to write with passion and sell the benefits

I'll tell you what's wrong with your headline, and this will tell you what needs to change in the ENTIRE letter.

You wrote...

"A Quality Solar Pool Blanket with High Profits for Resellers
Quality tested by over 2000 Aussie pool owners."

Two rules of marketing:

Rule #1: It's not what you say that matters, it's what you get your reader to think, to imagine and to feel.

Your reader's first experience with your product or service should be in their imagination.

Your headline doesn't make me think, feel or imagine anything. When there's no picture in the mind, there's only a big question mark...and that means I'm hitting the back button.

(I'll show you what to do about this in a moment...)

Rule #2: Your ad shouldn't start a new conversation, it should JOIN a conversation that's already happening in the reader's consciousness.

Take your bullets here for instance...

1) You spend too much time quoting installations & equipment. But you don’t get enough deals.
2) You get very little profit when reselling brand name pool blankets
3) Some of your customers don’t want to pay $1000+ on brand name pool blankets & rollers

If these are the problems your reader is ALREADY having, that's where you need to start. Turn EVERY one of these bullets into a scenario, a vignette that the reader can literally see playing out in their head (per Rule #1).

For instance, ad libbing on point three, assuming that the reader is selling this stuff in the user's home...

"'That's too much money, I'm not paying $1,000 for pool blanket,' ...your customer says, folding their arms and shoving the unsinged contract back at you. Damn! Another deal lost. You shuffle quietly out their door, mumbling to yourself..."cheap *******!" wasted my time!

Now, how many times has this happened to you in the past 2 weeks?"

If that ^ in fact, is a familiar frustration, you've got their attention. If it's not, of course, it won't work. That's where you need to know what's on your reader's mind AND what picture will be most relevant to them. I don't know that. But I do know that you need to pain the picture and it needs to match what's in their mind.

Start there.

Seth nailed it. This letter needs to be completely rewritten with new positioning.

You're losing them at the headline, which is where the greatest battle for sales is fought.

Are you making sales one-on-one? If so, pay attention to those eyebrow raising moments where you're holding their attention. Or, record your successful sales calls and mull them over for source material for your letter.

Copywriting is salesmanship in print, so you need to know how to *sell* this first.

Be careful, Adrian. That thought can turn into a nasty little demon that murders sales.

Seth gave you AWESOME insights, but you won't be able to use them if you entertain the delusion that certain types of people buy / are sold differently than others. That's what I see in your copy.

The part of our brain that makes buying decisions... the limbic system... hasn't had a software upgrade in millions of years. That brain works on the basis of desire and fear. And we're all wired the same.

If you hold on to the idea that your audience is different, you won't do the things you need to do to sell your products and services.

Just be aware, that's all.

Thanks for the feedback all.

Back to the drawing board for me.