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Critique my Squeeze Page! First one I've ever made.

by screwaverage
16 replies
This is my first squeeze page. It's a car buyers insiders guide.

optinreal — Car Buyers Insiders Guide

Effective and simple? Or boring nonsense.
#critique #made #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author lotsofsnow
    Test it and you tell us.

    My opinion:
    Way too much text and gimmicks but depending on your traffic it might be just right.
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    • Profile picture of the author wordwizard
      It made me want to sign up for your guide!

      I found the big red banner along the top a bit much though (very jarring). Definitely split test it with and without it.
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  • Profile picture of the author 06blawton
    Originally Posted by screwaverage View Post

    This is my first squeeze page. It's a car buyers insiders guide.

    optinreal — Car Buyers Insiders Guide

    Effective and simple? Or boring nonsense.
    The banner at the top is a bit off-putting.

    I'm not too big on the mulit-column layout. Single column landing pages normally convert better. I think there was a KISSmetrics blog post on this a while ago.

    Everything might be a bit too "shouty", which makes it hard to focus on one thing. I'd recommend simplifying it a bit. Suppose only testing will tell.

    Try and get a testimonial where you can pinpoint the exact amount saved. Makes it more believable.

    "THERE REALLY ARE NEAR PERFECT" -- I don't think this reads too well. Try something like "Shockingly Simple Ways" ... or something along those lines. Might just be me, but the way you've described it doesn't really roll off the tongue too well.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    Get rid of the red bar and everything in it.

    The page feels like a used car salesman.

    The headline is sufficient.

    Test it with and without the testimonial. I think it'll do better without it. I want to strip the page down.

    But the hook has legs.

    Mark
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    • Profile picture of the author screwaverage
      Originally Posted by Mark Pescetti View Post

      Get rid of the red bar and everything in it.

      The page feels like a used car salesman.

      The headline is sufficient.

      Test it with and without the testimonial. I think it'll do better without it. I want to strip the page down.

      But the hook has legs.

      Mark
      Hi Mark

      Just to clarify, you suggest keeping the headline, but getting rid of the red bar as it makes it a bit to loud? I agree with stripping the page down. I find myself looking for both simplicity and high impact without using too many words. I think that's the idea, but it is a tough balance to find. I think I need to look at this word by word and get rid of anything that over does it.

      I appreciate your input, I was hoping you would reply to this one.
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  • Profile picture of the author jjosephs
    "Ex Car Salesman Tells All"

    Context, context... One of the dangers of headline imitation.

    Think about it- Most car salesmen can talk both your ears off telling "some". But telling ALL? Clear your schedule buddy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Declan O Flaherty
    Get rid of the top bar completely, and everything below the sign up form. Add a much more professional eBook image while you're at it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Irn7997
    Originally Posted by screwaverage View Post

    This is my first squeeze page. It's a car buyers insiders guide.

    optinreal — Car Buyers Insiders Guide

    Effective and simple? Or boring nonsense.
    Looks great for 1st squeeze page
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  • Profile picture of the author Lance K
    What exactly are your visitors going to get? Is it a free report? Or are you just collecting emails and redirecting to a long form sales letter?
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    • Profile picture of the author screwaverage
      Originally Posted by Lance K View Post

      What exactly are your visitors going to get? Is it a free report? Or are you just collecting emails and redirecting to a long form sales letter?
      I was going to try it a few different ways. One just to redirect to a longer sales page, and the other giving away a free "Top 7 car buying mistakes that cost you thousands" report to generate some interest in my guide
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  • Profile picture of the author KevinW
    How about moving the optin form above the fold?
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  • Profile picture of the author McKattry
    Too much verbage. Cut out at least half of the wording there. Make the image bigger, or better yet, more interesting.
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    • Profile picture of the author JosephTate
      Banned
      that big grey arrow almost made me put my name and email! haha..can I borrow it from you? :p
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  • Profile picture of the author stanigator
    A couple of quick points:
    - the arrow is good, but I would recommend making it the same as the button color, which gets me to the next point
    - your headline, bullet points, and button color are too similar; people wouldn't know what action you want them to take
    - You may want to find a way to get rid of the footer material (some of the redundant links; this is a landing page after all)
    - I like your bullet points. However, your headline and subheadline are too wordy. Figure out how people talk when they buy a car (the side they won't reveal to car salesmen)
    - The caption in your action button should be closer relate to the benefit they will get from your free report
    - Do you have any testimonials of people using your tactics to successfully save a lot of money on their car purchases?
    - Lance does have a great point here. Your ultimate purpose is confusing here. How do you plan to make the sale? Webinar training? Video training? Teleconference coaching? Without knowing the context, we can't help you figure out what's the proper sales process.
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  • Profile picture of the author rimam1
    I actually think it's great.

    You establish credibility by saying you used to be a car salesman.

    You give specific benefits.

    The design is clean and elegant.

    The part about using these secrets against the dealer is great.

    Good job.

    Raza
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Pescetti
    It definitely looking better.

    Get rid of the everything but your copyright info under the submit button. NO links.

    Let us know the results.
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