NEW Product: Please critique my sales letter - neewbie here

You're learning, Paul!

Yes, lots of exclamation points are a surefire way of setting off your prospect's B.S. Detector.

If a statement isn't powerful enough on its own--without an exclamation point--then adding one isn't going to help.

As for your approach, I'm wondering if you may be assuming too much of your target audience. The headline refers to "Maximizing Your CTR". Your prospect may not know what "CTR" means.... but definitely DOES want people to click on their adsense ads.

You might consider a more straightforward approach... something like "How To Get More People Clicking On Your Adsense Ads More Often So You Too Can Earn $5,045.36 A Month On Autopilot."

See how it's direct, to the point, specific, and contains no "jargon" words? That's how to flag your audience and get them reading more.

Thanks Josh & Paul,

Paul, I will look at re designing the whole upsell page, it's not an option to get the person who done the main sales page to do the upsell for me. I have a few copywriting ebooks but reading and doing seem tough for me on this topic.

Josh: Your headline seems to work a lot better and is a lot more direct, it's something I have to get use to is direct marketing.

Thanks both for your input

Jason

I thought the top of your letter (and headline) had too much
jargon in it. You are assuming a level of familiarity with issues
surrounding Adsense marketing the reader may or may not
have. If you make him feel stupid, he's gone, so use everyday
words and if you have to use a special term, explain it.

It's just a couple of words that set me off "CTR" and "optimizing" -
I know what these words mean but your buyer may not.

I find your headline a bit clunky too - I would be more inclined
to go with something very simple, short, and direct like:
"Adsense Winner!" - the specific advantages could be made
into bullets right under your headline. No need for mouth-full
sentences... I mean, read this aloud:

"(And how you can instantly eliminate any chance of losing another penny by optimizing
your entire website in just minutes so that it's generating income on its very FIRST day! ..)"

You are trying to sell your thing there, like a fast-talker -
which is a common approach with online salesletters but
I think it's usually a mistake. Just capture interest -
ie "secrets to adsense profits in 2009" and go on from
there to argue why your product is new an relevant to
adsense marketing today.

I'd also drop the border size on the tables to "0".

Not a big fan of visible table borders when they're not being used to clearly distinguish something.