Critique my copy, please. Personal development membership site

Thank you all so much for the feedback. I really appreciate it. Your critiques will help me put out a better product.

Thanks, Rick. I am Definitely looking into hiring a pro.

Agreed.

I've written for and sold to this market for 17 years. The most important thing I've learned about selling to them is that vague doesn't equal value.

Reading this, I'm not even sure what you're offering. I can hear your target market asking "Is this just gonna be more of that positive thinking stuff?"

I heard that ^ objection thousands of times when I worked for Peter Lowe's company. The only way to overcome it is to be damn specific about:

1) Exactly you're going to help them achieve.

Unless you're Bob Proctor, Steven Covey or Jack Canfield, "finding your purpose" is too nebulous. You need to start with a practical bottom line benefit.

2) Why they should listen to you.

On that point, demonstration beats persuasion. You have to demonstrate that you've done something exceptional.

Too many people in this space think they're experts just because they decided to quit their job at Home Depot and become a motivational speaker. Others think they're experts after reading some books or paying $25 to join an MLM company. Ironically, these people are also your buyers lol, so they're not about to fall for their own tricks.

You need a track record, a claim to fame. Something that sets you apart.

3) HOW you're going to help them.

In this niche "The more you tell, the more you sell" is true. You can't give away too much information. Believe me, I've written promotions where the sales message told them just as much as the product did. If the insights are unique and if they make sense, people will buy.

However, you DO need to give them something they can't get from someone else. Otherwise, they'll go to that someone else. That takes a lot of work, but it's the people who have a unique selling position that make it.