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I guess my first sales page fail

by edpudol1973
9 replies
I have launch recently my outsourcing membership site, Instead of paying someone to create the sales page for me I do it my self. I don't have enough budget yet. My site is Lexorsoft.net.

Since I started the site it only get 20 new members. I believe my sales letter is not convincing and more improvement is needed.

For those sales page expert, how much you think I need to pay for a expert to re-write the sales page, so that it make more attractive and all those wrong grammar will be corrected?

Thanks
Ed
#fail #guess #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Steve Mount
    The page is written in poor english. It's not terrible, but it's enough for me to say... ehh no thanks!

    How much you want to spend depends on your budget and how much more money you want to make.

    A good copywriter could rewrite your page for $1000 and help you achieve much much more.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Originally Posted by edpudol1973 View Post

    I have launch recently my outsourcing membership site, Instead of paying someone to create the sales page for me I do it my self. I don't have enough budget yet. My site is Lexorsoft.net.

    Since I started the site it only get 20 new members. I believe my sales letter is not convincing and more improvement is needed.

    For those sales page expert, how much you think I need to pay for a expert to re-write the sales page, so that it make more attractive and all those wrong grammar will be corrected?

    Thanks
    Ed

    Let's see, you are doing about $2,000 per month less expenses.
    With the help of a copywriter you should be able to easily double
    that subscription rate, so your fee is covered in no time. Not a
    bad start, but you could get a bump for sure.

    -Ray Edwards
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    Yeah, get a copywriter - your offer looks good but the
    skills of the writer you used are hurting your results -
    you could do a lot better with a good copywriter
    tweaking/rewriting this letter for more punch and better
    communication.

    Getting it done right will be an investment in your
    business which should pay you back many times over -
    you'll get offers all over the map, but you get what
    you pay for. I'll quote you a fee to do a bang-up
    rewrite on it if you ask - look at my material (below)
    and if you like my style send me an email or
    request a quote from my site.
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  • Profile picture of the author rbthanders
    I would also add more info about the actual value proposition of the service that you're offering.

    Like - what sets it apart from all of the people doing the same type of thing at DP, here, or other places for similar rates.
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  • Profile picture of the author edpudol1973
    Thanks guys for all the kind words, I've got 4 PMs since I started this thread. But I want to hear if you guys know someone here at Warrior that really good in this job.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kurt Henninger
      What is your sale conversion for your page? 1-2 or 5% or what?

      That is really the ultimate determining factor on whether a sales page is "good "or not and converts.
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    • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
      Originally Posted by edpudol1973 View Post

      Thanks guys for all the kind words, I've got 4 PMs since I started this thread. But I want to hear if you guys know someone here at Warrior that really good in this job.
      I told you to look at my stuff and request a quote. Same goes for
      any of the writers here. Read their stuff.

      Your letter's problem is clarity. Your offer is good, but poorly communicated.
      Hire a writer who writes for clarity.
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  • Profile picture of the author RentItNow
    One thing I noticed is it took me too long to figure out what you are selling. Use the flare that is lower on the page at the top somewhere.

    1/3 of the first page is a useless graphic. Should be someone relaxing. I dont like the word OUTSOURCE! In fact it means to most people just one more job taken away from someone here. To me it would mean, HOW MUCH TO HELP ME? Get to the point WAY faster.

    I don't like the testimonials format and position. Should be lower and less obtrusive.

    The lead should be something that shows that I only have to work a few hours a week if I use you. You should quote Timothy Ferris' Four Hour Work Week where he goes into great detail about using outsourcing.

    I HATE the Lexorsoft.net thing. It doesnt explain the benefit to me whatsoever.
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    I have no agenda but to help those in the same situation. This I feel will pay the bills.
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