I'm not here to chew the fat on being fat....
Its evening.....
...and you're sprawled on the couch in your comfy slacks, slurping on Ben and Jerry's, pot belly hanging out over the top of your pants like some kind of primordial haggis trying to escape from the trousers that time forgot, while on the TV some super-fit aerobics model condescends to you in a nasal "Britney-esque" whine about how super simple it is to "use this apparatus to lose at least 20 lbs in one week!", and then it hits you.
Damn I'm fat!
So you jump off the couch, throw the B and J in the bin, pull on your running shoes, grab your keys and dash out of the door with a new found optimism. The Little Engine That Could comes to mind - "I think I can, I think I can, I KNOW I can". And suddenly, you've done 500 metres! Wow! It feels great! It feels wonderful! You're running! You're......You're Forrest Gump!
But, inevitably, as you pump sweatily along on the unforgiving tarmac, the same heart sinking realization hits you with all the finality of a runaway steam train. "I just don't have the staying power."
You stop, gasping for breath and turn around, shaking your head and head dejectedly back to your sofa, fishing the B and J's out of the bin on the way. The same super model is still droning on on the TV, perfect thighs and buttocks rippling away as she pounds out that extra millimetre of fat that is surely threatening to envelope her perfect frame imminently. You glare at her for a moment before switching it off and sighing heavily, gazing dejectedly into your ice cream.
Sound familiar?
What if I said to you, "You can be like Ivor the Engine!"
What if I said to you "It doesn't have to end on the couch!"
What if I, and a crowd of other "skinny Britneys" like me yelled at you in unison: "That pot belly doesn't have to rule your life!"
What if you were able to tell yourself: "I CAN stand up and I CAN take control! I have a RIGHT to be a condescending supermodel just like that skinny ***** on the TV!"
It could all start today.
I was once a lesser spotted, pot bellied couch croucher like you. Now, I'm a ground-pounding, concrete-eating mean machine who thinks nothing of doing a 10k run before breakfast!
You might be wondering by now, what the point of my story is. Please, be patient, I'll get to it in a minute. After all you must be used to sitting around by now otherwise you wouldn't be here, right? (I know I was, you really aren't alone).
It all started when I was browsing around the same old forums and what I call "online obesity-universities" where everyone was pretending to lose weight and exercise, while boasting about how much weight they had lost that week, but instead were secretly learning increasingly easy ways of getting fatter and fatter. I started losing interest in places like that and instead turned my attention to the big social networks like Twitter and Facebook etc. I figured there must be real people on there, with real stories to tell and real help and advice to give. But, no luck.
I even joined a few groups and added my name to some pages and lists on Facebook and Twitter but to be honest my heart wasn't really in it. I would spend hours on there just chatting to my friends around the world who were all living their own lives and making successes of themselves in their careers, in their new houses and marriages etc. This obviously just made me feel even lower. I was fat, alone, and falling behind. I was getting pretty desperate.
Then something happened. It changed my world around. It spun my fat ass up in the air and brought me back down to earth with a splodge. (Skinny people come down to earth with a "bump", us "big boned" folks are only accorded a "splodge" I'm afraid.)
Anyway, I was looking through my Twitter inbox one evening and among the messages I had from friends and family there were a few dating offers and "win an iPad" type messages. Now, I'm not stupid. I know what spam is. And I don't mean the tinned variety that's great with pickle either! I would normally just bin these messages as a hoax, or junk mail or whatever.
But out of pure boredom and desperate fascination I opened one of these spam messages from a list I had joined labelled "The Secret Weight Loss Method The Gurus Don't Want You to Know".
Obviously, I was skeptical too, but I opened it anyway just to see what nonsense was being spouted now. To this day I don't know what prompted me to download the free eBook report that promised a "Secret Formula" being used by a growing number of dieters around the world. I don't know why I paid the minuscule registration fee of only $14.99 to get access to the members area. Well, I say minuscule now, but back then it seemed like a lot.
But I don't regret a cent of it.
Because I'm an animal.
I'm a lean machine.
I can run for hours.
I exercise regularly because I WANT to.
I'm motivated now.
But the BEST part?
I STILL eat Ben and Jerry's and I STILL sprawl on the couch at the end of the day. And I STILL listen to the whiny model as she pumps away on her cross trainer. But the difference is, instead of feeling desperate and envious, I now nod along with her and smile.
"You can get results in no time", she opines.
I nod with a smile. "Yes, you can".
My lifestyle has improved VASTLY. All because of the secrets I learned about weight loss and why its so difficult to get going, so hard to get motivated. All because I learned what was TRULY stopping me from losing weight and how to tackle it.
And you can do it too. You can be the Little Engine That Could because I want to share the secret with you.
Why? Because I want to empower people like you whose self-confidence is being preyed upon by the candy companies to make $$ day in, day out by sharing what truly worked for me. I hate those companies because they made me, and thousands of others like me into morbidly obese no-hopers who struggled to even get off the couch at times. People who would sigh because the phone was ringing and was just out of reach from the comfort of their easy chair. People who sometimes couldn't be bothered to open the front door! People who would do their GROCERY SHOPPING ONLINE and have it DELIVERED!
But then I found this system. This wonderful, balanced, healthy, enjoyable system that allowed me to shed pounds effortlessly, while eating most of the same great food I enjoyed when I looked like Jabba the Hutt's long lost sister.
But before you take out your card, take a look at what other people using the same system have said:
-"Testimonials"-
You see?
I hope YOU take action.
I hope YOU know YOU really can.
I hope YOU know YOU'RE the one who can change YOUR life.
Jenny
PS You'll never know if you can be The Little Engine That Could until you try!
PPS By the way, I lost 92 lbs in six months following this simple strategy, all the while enjoying most of my favorite foods!
Here I am now, after realising "I CAN".
-Picture of skinny chick-
See you on the inside!
<link to sign up>
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If any of this falls down anywhere, please pull it apart. Be vicious!
Cheers!
Joseph
Wealthcopywriter.com :)
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