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How not to be schemed?

by Eric X
14 replies
A real estate investment company sent a sales letter to my home. To say the least, it sucked really bad. After further investigation of there website, it sure can benefit from an overhaul of the current copy on the site.

I want to email a proposal on how I can make there online copy a lot better. Also on how there sales letters can be improved.

I would like some advice on positioning myself so that the company cannot just use my sales letter without paying my requested fee.

Thank you in advance
#schemed
  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    Circle a few high level things and give them those quick fixes for free. Invite them to try it and see if their conversions improve. If they like the results, great. You've done them a solid and not taken up too much of your own time. If they like the results and want to get it to where they can knock it out of the park, then you get on the horn and close the sale.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sajun Becker
    As far as presentation goes, be sure to be casual, brief, and to-the-point.

    In other words, don't position yourself to be selling anything, position yourself to be offering friendly advice.
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  • Profile picture of the author MichaelChief
    This might sound harsh and irrelevant, but if I were the owner of a company and I received a letter or an email from a copywriter who couldn't differentiate between there, their, and they're, I would never take him/her seriously. If you're serious about this then you might want to hire a proofreader to check every email you write to the company before you hit the "send" button.
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Originally Posted by Eric X View Post

    A real estate investment company sent a sales letter to my home. To say the least, it sucked really bad. After further investigation of there website, it sure can benefit from an overhaul of the current copy on the site.

    I want to email a proposal on how I can make there online copy a lot better. Also on how there sales letters can be improved.

    I would like some advice on positioning myself so that the company cannot just use my sales letter without paying my requested fee.

    Thank you in advance
    Be a little careful about that. Some of those letters (not all) are deliberately designed to look amateurish. There's a psychology behind them.

    - Rick Duris

    PS: For instance, which real estate bandit signs get more calls? The pre-printed ones or the handwritten ones?

    Folks familiar with Gary Halbert's plain white envelope, with a handwritten name and address, and first class postage strategy know what I'm talking about.



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    • Profile picture of the author JamesDLayton
      Sorry that was a tad quick. What I should of said is that Rick outlines a complete strategy in that report to do exactly what you propose. Fix other peoples copy. So I would buy it (I did) and get a lot of value from it. Not an affiliate link or anything. Just love the report.

      AND it applies.

      James (third coffee still not awake)
      Signature
      "We are what we think about
      all day long." - Earl Nightingale
      One of the easiest transformations I ever undertook as a copywriter was reading that quote every day.
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      • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
        Banned
        Originally Posted by Eric X View Post

        How not to be schemed?
        I suspect you might have meant "scammed" (but I'm still not quite sure)?

        Originally Posted by Eric X View Post

        I want to email a proposal on how I can make there online copy a lot better. Also on how there sales letters can be improved.
        Call me a wombat , but it may be taken more seriously if you don't say "there" when you mean "their".
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    • Profile picture of the author Eric X
      Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

      Be a little careful about that. Some of those letters (not all) are deliberately designed to look amateurish. There's a psychology behind them.

      - Rick Duris

      PS: For instance, which real estate bandit signs get more calls? The pre-printed ones or the handwritten ones?

      Folks familiar with Gary Halbert's plain white envelope, with a handwritten name and address, and first class postage strategy know what I'm talking about.
      I'm well aware of Gary Halberts newsletters on this specific subject. The company mailed it in a very professional, non convincing manor. The Gary Halbert approach is what I want to offer the company.
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      • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
        Originally Posted by Eric X View Post

        I'm well aware of Gary Halberts newsletters on this specific subject. The company mailed it in a very professional, non convincing manor. The Gary Halbert approach is what I want to offer the company.
        Good luck, I hope you land them as a Client.



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  • Profile picture of the author JamesDLayton
    How to Get Copywriting Clients Quickly | CopyRanger.com

    Buy this.
    J
    Signature
    "We are what we think about
    all day long." - Earl Nightingale
    One of the easiest transformations I ever undertook as a copywriter was reading that quote every day.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
    I agree with the wombat

    If you are going to put yourself out there as an expert, you MUST work on your grammar and spelling.

    Getting a letter that had the mistakes of your post above would earn you a quick place in my recycle bin.
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    Fifteen Lessons I have learned over 15 years and six businesses (or, My 1000th-Post Manifesto)
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    • Profile picture of the author Eric X
      Originally Posted by Jack Gordon View Post

      I agree with the wombat

      If you are going to put yourself out there as an expert, you MUST work on your grammar and spelling.

      Getting a letter that had the mistakes of your post above would earn you a quick place in my recycle bin.
      Originally Posted by MichaelChief View Post

      This might sound harsh and irrelevant, but if I were the owner of a company and I received a letter or an email from a copywriter who couldn't differentiate between there, their, and they're, I would never take him/her seriously. If you're serious about this then you might want to hire a proofreader to check every email you write to the company before you hit the "send" button.
      I'm well aware that I sometimes have grammar and misuse of words issues in post. I always have material proofread by an outside source.

      But thank you for pointing it out.
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      • Profile picture of the author Jack Gordon
        Originally Posted by Eric X View Post

        I'm well aware that I sometimes have grammar and misuse of words issues in post. I always have material proofread by an outside source.

        But thank you for pointing it out.
        All well and good. We really are here to help.

        My point, perhaps not as eloquent as it could have been, is that the way you present yourself matters... even here.

        Everyone makes the occasional typo, and I frequently find myself going back and editing my own typos when I discover them.

        But this is just human nature. If you don't take more care to present yourself as a professional, you'll find many won't treat you as one.

        A bit of proofreading and attention to detail before you hit submit will go a long way.
        Signature
        Fifteen Lessons I have learned over 15 years and six businesses (or, My 1000th-Post Manifesto)
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  • Profile picture of the author ThePromotionalGuy
    Eric,

    Take the shortest and simplest path.

    I would email them and it would go something like this:
    "Hi, my name is (Your Name) and I received your sales letter in the mail that mention (Their Offer). Thank you. I also went to your website to find out more about your company. It was very interesting to learn all that you do and what your offer.

    "I looked over your offer and     currently I'm not in the market for (Their Offer). Should I need your services in the future I now have a resource at my disposal.

    "Now that I know who you are and the services you provide, let me extend to you the same courtesy.

    "I'm a copywriter that writes business sales letters and website content for business owners, such as yourself. Looking over your sales letter and website content I noticed a few anomalies that caught my attention.

    "If you'd like to know what I found simply reply back to this email.

    "Thank you again for letting me know who you are, what you do and what you offer, it was a pleasure meeting you"

    (Your Name)
    If the real estate company replies back wanting to know more then you have a warm lead. If they don't just move on.
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