Critique Request Unlimited Success Program

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The secret of the ages...

"Is It Possible That A Secret Has Been Passed Along From Generation to Generation of High Achieving Individuals?"

HINT: Positive Thinking, Manifesting Your Destiny and All That CRAP Can Go Straight Into The Garbage!


I found an easier way to make more money, achieve my goals in never ending succession and circumnavigate the globe twice while maintaining a 3.7 GPA in university majoring in mathematics

Dear Entrepreneur,

Return to that point where...

Everything seemed to just click. Every action you took seemed to work, you knew exactly what to do and how to do it...
With a sense that nothing was out of your reach...

Your every thought seemed in line with the universe. Your plans worked out exactly as you intended them to. Seeing obstacles before they appeared... exploding with a sense of enthusiasm and achievement where every second you were becoming more successful...

That "unstoppable" feeling where your desires and your ability to achieve them seemed to come into perfect alignment
Then suddenly, your back to the old struggle, the painful difficulty, the never ending will against the universe.

What are you going to do now?

Wait for things to come along and work out "your way" again? How long could that take? 2 years? 4? A decade?

Allow me to guide you into that life again, where you actions and desires smoothly flow from one step to another. One successful conquest after the next.

Let me show you how to release a awe inspiring power within you to...

Achieve Success After Success After Success

I will reveal to you how to tap into that terrifying power... that unstoppable force... which can radically transform your entire life.

Allow me to explain:

Have you ever noticed some people had an aura of success to them, where they just succeeded at everything they touched? Where almost everything they did seemed to just "work out"? We call them cool, high achievers, geniuses, they are the people of the world who's very presence seem to make things turn out right.

Why? Does only a lucky few have this power or can we all tap into it?

They are people like Richard Bransons, Warren Buffet, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs. Somehow we know there is something very special these people all have in common. What is it? They win. They win and win and win and win. In never ending succession they completely dominate at achieving what they want. They are winners, and you can be too, if you know how...

Winners Do What Losers Do Not

Imagine for a moment if you knew exactly what you could do right now, in your present situation that would lead to success in whatever your goal was.

Think about that for a minute. Imagine someone handed you a piece of paper and on that paper was a set of written instructions. Those instructions told you exactly what you could do, according to your unique situation, that would lead to your highest chance of success. That would be pretty powerful wouldnt it?

You could change your life in so many ways if you had something like that, you could...

> Get a better spouse
> Get a better house
> Lead a better, more fulfilling life
> Achieve your dreams
> Become financially free
> Attain the recognition and respect of those around you
Your life could be totally and radically transformed by knowing what to do, in your exact, present, unique situation to change your life. But that piece of paper doesn't exist, does it?

It does not exist yet. That piece of paper is within you, it lies within the confines of a four pound piece of matter that has changed the course of history. Your brain.

A brain like yours conceived the pyramids of Egypt.
A brain just like yours dreamt of A Thousand Arabian nights before it was written.
A brain like yours conquered empires further than the eye could see
A brain like yours built fortunes from nothing but ambition and dreams
The greatest power we have is within us. It lies within your own brain and I want to show you how to use it to change your life. How can you have that piece of paper, which shows you exactly how to go from where you are to where you want to be? Its actually something you can do yourself by engaging in a few activities:

Analysis
Prediction
Evaluation
Deduction
I am not going to ask you to start doing some voodoo chants in hopes it is going to change your life. Instead, I want to use the very same processes you have been using all your life to show you how to channel that energy... that power...

The same power which invented electricity
The same power which engineered the Taj Mahal
The same power which painted the Mona Lisa
To create whatever you want in life. Here is how it works: Your situation is unique and no general "advice" is going to get you nearly as far in life as a unique strategy and plan for your present situation.

Your situation is unique because...

> You have a different financial situation
> You have different skills and competencies
> You have different knowledge and experience
> You have a different perspective
What I want to do is to show you how to build a "fool proof" course of action for success and immediately start executing that for maximum success. This is not about principles, this is not about laws of the universe, this is about a simple way to find out exactly what you can do, where you are right now, to change your life to be the way you want it to.

How is this possible? We are going to first analyze where you are, and where you want to be. We will look at the gap between those two places. Next we will engage in analysis to figure out the core, fundamental problems that are preventing you from getting where you want. I call these "constraints."

After this we will use prediction based on a proven theory called "central limit theorem" in statistics to predict the future for you. Finally we will use deduction to conclude what path will give you the best outcome. This is not a course about voodoo, this is about how to use that four pound thing on your head that has invented rocket-ships and conquered nations. It is about how to use it to get what you want in life. No B.S.

Everyone doubts it works... until they see the results:

Recently I tried to teach this to my Father, who by all rights should be much better off than he was. He was trapped not by a lack of ability, not by a lack of intellect, he was trapped by an invisible force that controls most peoples lives.

He could not see what was holding him back. He kept trying and attempting things that should have worked out, that should have succeeded, but somehow there was always something, something that stopped him.

What was that thing? It was a weak understanding of the real situation. He did not engage in analysis, he did not engage in accurate prediction. So things he thought were going to work out, did not. Things he thought would not work out, actually would have.

It was this lack of a clear perspective that caused him to continue to lose, despite the high dollar value of his abilities and the fact that he had made a lot of money previously. People become trapped and controlled by constraint. The inability to see these constraints is what caused him to be on the eternal wheel of life, continually spinning the wheel but never going anywhere.

So this is what I did. I showed him how to better analyze his situation, how to better predict the outcomes of his decisions and choices. I showed him how to control risk, how to perform stronger analysis and make sounder decisions. The result?

In 30 days his income increased from $4000 per month, to $10,000 per month. All with something so simple. So innocent. The ability to better predict the outcomes of actions. When you can better see with clarity how things will turn out based on what you do, you know what to do to bring about what you want.

I'd like to make the same offer I made to him...

Don't believe what I say, doubt everything, just try it. Just see the difference it makes in your life when you apply it and use it. Once you understand HOW this works, how it makes your decisions sounder, how it allows you to better understand the outcomes of the future and control risk.

Once you see what a difference it can make for your life, by making you aware of the invisible forces that keep you on that wheel of life. When you finally see what has been holding you back with clarity, you can attack it and bring it down, and finally be free to achieve your goals without constraint.

Achieve more success in your life, win and win and win and win.

I urge you to learn my simple approach to changing the outcome of your life and leading a radically happier future.

P.S. People are amazed at the long-lasting effects this perspective change forever has on their life. Once they understand how to go about changing their life, and why it didnt change before, they have a system they take with them for the rest of their lives to solve their problems, and achieve their dreams.

FREE OFFER


Discover how to tap into the secret of winners and start succeeding at will - FREE!

You are invited to try the new program Unlimited Success, free for 30 days

Dear Ambitious Friend,

I have distilled my approach into a short, no filler program that will get you started in immediately taking the steps you need to change your life.

ITS YOURS FREE FOR 30 DAYS

This is not a trick, and there is not a catch.

Use the entire program, as much as you wish, as my guest. I am dead serious when I say not to send me a nickle.

Experience the immediate transformation of your life, the earth shattering power you have to achieve your goals.

Discover what has held you back, and what can push you forwards.

You will progressively eliminate mistakes and false assumptions that prevents you from achieving your deepest held desires. You will become more successful at whatever you apply the program towards.

Before the end of the 30 days you will be achieving more success and witnessing a decisive change in the outcomes of your actions. It will be as if someone gave you a secret code to unlocking a safe to your wishes.

Intelligence is the ability to get what you personally want in life, and this program will make you more intelligent. Period.

This will be the easiest decision of your life. You risk nothing, and have nothing to lose. If you want to cancel, you can do it in 2 seconds from your Paypal account. No need to even send an email.

If you are not absolutely thrilled, cancel your order at your convenience, no questions, no problems, no headaches. You have my word.

GO THROUGH THE ENTIRE PROGRAM FOR FREE, FOR 30 DAYS

Absorb and learn the revolutionary program to change your life:

1. The mathematical formula that determines if you succeed or not in any endeavour, proven by academic research

2. Understand specifically how people continue to fail when they try to succeed and what to do about it, tested and proven approach used at General Motors and other Fortune 500 companies

3. Eliminating what holds you back in life

4. Predicting the future? Proven by leading scientists for the last 100 years, validated in the finest universities on the planet

5. How to decide what to do to get what you want

6. Succeeding in the face of uncertainty - the methodological approach that makes you win even when you dont know everything you need to know

7. Making success inevitable - simple steps to winning at almost anything
Order your 30 day trial and you will receive the entire program, not just a sample.

To Receive Your 30 Day Free Trial

You just need to click the PayPal button below, you will not be billed for 30 days.

P.S. People who use this program often tell me that upon finishing it they immediately realize a better way to go about achieving success in their life and understand why they struggled before. They describe it like a curtain being pushed away in a dark room and everything being brought to light. I hope the same will be true for you too!

Experience The Program Yourself
FREE FOR 30 DAYS

To receive the program free for 30 days click the PayPal button below.

FREE 30-DAY TRIAL
UNLIMITED SUCCESS

Yes! I want to achieve more success, freedom, and confidence than ever before. Please give me instant access to the Unlimited Success program for 30 days, if I decide to keep it, I will pay just $9.95 (a $30 savings off the regular $39.95 price). Otherwise I will simply cancel using my Paypal account OR by sending you an email - and owe absolutely nothing for the cost of the program.

Guaranteed Results

Absorb this life changing program for up to 30 days, no obligation. If you are not experiencing a powerful difference in your life, you do not need to pay a single penny for it, no questions asked. After the 30 day trial you have a full 97 years to request a refund.

Testimonials
#critique #program #request #success #unlimited
  • Profile picture of the author Tim R
    Tl;dr

    Seems you didn't write this with a specific target audience in mind. It shows.

    The little that I did read is, quite frankly, a mess.
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    • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
      Hello...

      There is a tad' too much "hype"--in this letter...
      Signature

      'I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion'
      -Muhammad Ali

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  • Profile picture of the author jhanley
    I am not a copywriter by any stretch of the imagination. I feel however that you got your point across and as far as an audience is concerned I think it quite obvious that the audience is anyone and everyone! Personally I would rather read real from the heart copy then professional copy anyday! I get sick and tired of professional copy with all their psychological persuasions! So bottom line is the copy might not be all that professional but you got your point across. Good luck with your WSO!

    Kindest regards,
    Jim
    Signature

    UNLIMITED CPANEL/WHM RESELLER HOSTING ACCOUNT FOR JUST $64/YEAR.
    http://primeinternetsolutions.com/

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    • Profile picture of the author Zodiax
      Originally Posted by jhanley View Post

      I am not a copywriter by any stretch of the imagination. I feel however that you got your point across and as far as an audience is concerned I think it quite obvious that the audience is anyone and everyone! Personally I would rather read real from the heart copy then professional copy anyday! I get sick and tired of professional copy with all their psychological persuasions! So bottom line is the copy might not be all that professional but you got your point across. Good luck with your WSO!

      Kindest regards,
      Jim

      Yeah, but I don't see one iota of credibility in his copy--just empty promises with nothing concrete behind them.
      Signature

      'I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion'
      -Muhammad Ali

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    • Profile picture of the author Raydal
      Originally Posted by jhanley View Post

      Personally I would rather read real from the heart copy then professional copy anyday! I get sick and tired of professional copy with all their psychological persuasions! So bottom line is the copy might not be all that professional but you got your point across.
      Hi Jim,

      If "professional copy" reads like "professional copy" then its NOT professional copy.

      The beauty of a great actor is that you cannot see that he is acting.

      The beauty of "professional copy" is that you don't know it is professional copy.

      -Ray Edwards
      Signature
      The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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  • Profile picture of the author John Lloyd
    Originally Posted by Tim R View Post

    Tl;dr

    Seems you didn't write this with a specific target audience in mind. It shows.

    The little that I did read is, quite frankly, a mess.

    Seconded.

    You can't promise 'the world' and expect people to believe you. Your customers aren't that dumb.

    If you narrowed down your target market and and the general scope of your product, you might just get some sales.

    Lets's start with the title. What exactly are you offering? It seems like some sort of 'unleash your brain's full potential' program. How 'bout something simple like this:

    How To Get Rid Of Mental Stumbling Blocks In Only 30 Days
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  • Profile picture of the author pewpewpewmonkeys
    I think it quite obvious that the audience is anyone and everyone!
    So you're saying that it's bad copy...

    The secret of the ages...
    Why should I care?

    "Is It Possible That A Secret Has Been Passed Along From Generation to Generation of High Achieving Individuals?"
    Possibly. But why should I care?

    HINT: Positive Thinking, Manifesting Your Destiny and All That CRAP Can Go Straight Into The Garbage!
    Hey look, cats on the internet!!!
    Signature
    Some cause-oriented hackers recently hacked one of my websites. So I researched what they're about and then donated a large sum of money to the entity they hate the most.

    The next time they hack one of my websites I'm going to donate DOUBLE.
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  • Profile picture of the author masterwolf
    CAn you send me a link to this so I can promote it? I am looking for FREEBIES. Trials or my Giveaway sites. I can use this one.
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    • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
      Originally Posted by masterwolf View Post

      CAn you send me a link to this so I can promote it? I am looking for FREEBIES. Trials or my Giveaway sites. I can use this one.
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      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        I'm NOT seeing how this is connecting to an existing
        motivation to change...

        being very specific about a situation the reader finds herself in...

        and the URGENCY FOR CHANGE.

        Without those 3 elements,
        why would your reader respond favourably?

        Best,
        Doctor E. Vile
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  • Profile picture of the author Luke Dennison
    You started off OK.

    A bold claim, and you got some curiosity going.

    However, you took the curiosity too far IMHO, and you have dragged it out throughout the entire sales letter.

    A bit of mystery is good, but you need to actually talk about the product.

    At the moment, my TLDR version would be...

    "Ooooooh, this product will change your life, buy it to find out how"

    You need to tell people what it is that the product will do which will change their life.
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  • Profile picture of the author Robert_Rand
    Personal development is tough. And if you look at anyone who's converting in this niche it's because they have authority and a following.

    In this niche, the biggest thing people are buying is not the "secrets" - as they do in a niche like diet and bizopp - but rather the actual Guru and what he symbolizes. That's what sells - not the information. People are buying Tony Robbins, Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield ...etc.

    Who are you and why should I listen to you?

    Can you name one successful personal development product that wasn't created by someone who has a name and a following?? I'm sure that's gotta be someone... but I can't think of any.

    You seem to be passionate and your product seems interesting but... No one cares about some anonymous person who has attained a decent GPA and found an easier way "make more money" and who now claims to have the secrets of success.

    I think you'll be challenged to give this away. You can have the best copywriter in the world write the copy and it's still not going to convert as well as subpar copy in a hot market.
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