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mfrielin |
 Posted - 02/26/2008 : 11:27:09
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Hello Everyone,
I have been working on a novel, a personal memoirs if you will, and I wanted to share with you the first chapter. Just so you understand why I chose the subject line...well I've had a lot of experiences in my life that have driven me to become more than mediocre. Death is a lingering force in our lives and all of us, I hope, want to give back to this world...some of us with bigger visions than most. I hope you can relate to my writings. Please leave feedback. Enjoy:
Where do I start? Where do I end? More importantly where do we start and where do we end? These are questions we all have in common. For quite sometime now I have been deciding how this story would portray itself. I almost stopped before I started. The way I look at it is the only failure is never trying. My brother told me “Just start…stop thinking too hard about where you’ll end up. You can’t make it to where you’re going if you don’t take the first step.”
It is interesting how certain statements resonate with us forever, always meaning something different at different stages or what I like to call eras. Chapters. We are a book waiting to be written. What you are reading now is a story of no particular significance. My story. Eras. Chapters. It is not the story that you will recognize the significance, but the words that describe the story. Relating to anything is a matter of reading between the lines.
This story is subject to interpretation. Some may see it as cynical, overexposing, even extreme. Most of us do not openly admit that the truth is a hard thing to swallow. The bottom line, however, is that a sugar coated truth is one easily digestible. The truth wrapped in a nice white lie is always one that is more pleasing to the eye. Truth insinuates humility, which requires a lack of fear to being overexposed. This story however is essentially, with the exception of a few minor creative liberties taken, the truth.
My mother told me that when I was young I would sit in silence. Never saying a word. “I was always in my head” she would say. I remember always thinking too much. Always contemplating how things were and how they could be…second guessing every action and reaction. Analyzing chain reactions in the laws of nature. Thinking about the past and the future and where we all will end up and disturbed by the inevitable outcome. Death is a hard thing to grasp at such a young age, but I recognized it’s presence as a lingering force…a constant threshold.
We are delicate creatures. Today we’re here, tomorrow we may not be. Each minute getting one step closer to the inevitable; one step closer to our destiny…the destiny that we all hold. One thing that I never understood is why people shy away from the subject as if it won’t happen to them…as if their immortal. As if we’re immortal. Each second is one second less. Unfortunately, time does not have the ability to be added to.
When you think about it, dying is as big of a part of life as living. The cycle of life. The balance of nature. The asset that equals the liability. Noticing that it’s there only makes us more aware of how important it is to make the most of today. As James Dean put it, “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.”
When we are young, much of what we know is based on intuition. Our minds have no boundaries, no limits. Our imaginations carry our knowledge. As we grow, we experience things that place boundaries on our ability to think outside the box. We spend our whole lives learning and unlearning, understanding and misunderstanding, experiencing, placing boundaries, breaking down our imagination; an imagination that once carried our innate ability to create. Some of us savor it, even add to it, others forget to…or never cared in the first place. Some call it innocence. I call it hope. It is something I pride myself on preserving.
It is what society wants most…to strip us of our freedom to think for ourselves. Conformity has become a system for success designed by a system that has redefined what success is. The American Dream. The fast car stuck in traffic. The trophy wife with the white picket fence, two and a half kids, and a dog. For the record this is not me. For some of us, it isn’t us. Not everyone has to fit in. In the grand scheme of things, none of us fit in.
My brother once told me that people view life as either a comedy or a tragedy. I’d say it’s hard to categorize anything into such black and white categories. There’s always a grey area. I view life as somewhere in the grey area. A tragic comedy if you will.
Matthew James Frieling |
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Barry Rice |
Posted - 02/27/2008 : 04:41:18
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quote : Originally posted by mfrielin
My brother once told me that people view life as either a comedy or a tragedy. I’d say it’s hard to categorize anything into such black and white categories. There’s always a grey area. I view life as somewhere in the grey area. A tragic comedy if you will.
I just don't believe God sees the life He gives us all - to laugh, to succeed at our individual choices, to give to others, to be happy, enjoy peace of mind - as a "grey area". Actually, it's pretty black or white. God allows us to choose the bright of a successful life, or the darkness of merely sitting and waiting for the inevitable.
"Tragic" comedy? How could the opportunity - and that's all it is, and "opportunity" - to succeed be either "tragic" or a "comedy"? It's tragic when anyone throws away their opportunity and laughs AT God and says, "I refuse to accept what You are so graciously giving".
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richgrad |
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dsanchez |
Posted - 02/27/2008 : 10:34:50
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I myself see life as a gift from God and yes, we should savor every second of it and try to make the right choices to be successful, not only financially but also family-wise, with our friends, and everything that surrounds us.
Death? In this world is inevitable, so why give it a thought (I think) other than to make every arrangement possible (i.e., a will, etc) to make as easier as possible for our loved ones? Once all that is in place, go on with life and enjoy it!
That's my two cents.
Dagmar
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mfrielin |
Posted - 02/27/2008 : 14:12:37
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I agree with both of you very much so. I've heard it said that "Every day is both a gift and a battle." Life has it's ups and it's downs. I believe strongly, I repeat, very strongly in God. I have hope in everything that I do. I see the beauty in everything, including struggles in life.
The point of recognizing death in life is not to dwell on it, but to know that it's there and to make the most of life. That was my point there. Here is a piece of poetry that I wrote as well. I love sharing my writings and I hope you all enjoy it.
Thank you again for the feedback.
Contours...
As the rising sun illuminates the contours
Where the darkness once hid
The day comes alive
Each crevice weathered from its surrounding environment
Each stone displaced in its own perfection
These hills with their peaks and valleys,
They reflect the perfection in the imperfection of our own lives
These contours are what make us look at today as a new day
These contours are what make us feel so alive.
So do not overlook the importance of each peak and of each valley
Because there is purpose in everything
Even our hardest times.
Matthew James Frieling |
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KLindsay |
Posted - 02/28/2008 : 09:15:09
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| Death is an inevitability so why dwell on it. We should all be concerned with living. Why some people spend so much time in their lives worrying about afterlifes, reincarnations and so on I will never truly understand. |
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dlrsuperman |
Posted - 02/29/2008 : 10:21:32
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Brilliantly written. Either we live in happiness or suffer in darkness by waiting for our passing.
quote : Originally posted by Barry Ricequote : Originally posted by mfrielin
My brother once told me that people view life as either a comedy or a tragedy. I’d say it’s hard to categorize anything into such black and white categories. There’s always a grey area. I view life as somewhere in the grey area. A tragic comedy if you will.
I just don't believe God sees the life He gives us all - to laugh, to succeed at our individual choices, to give to others, to be happy, enjoy peace of mind - as a "grey area". Actually, it's pretty black or white. God allows us to choose the bright of a successful life, or the darkness of merely sitting and waiting for the inevitable. "Tragic" comedy? How could the opportunity - and that's all it is, and "opportunity" - to succeed be either "tragic" or a "comedy"? It's tragic when anyone throws away their opportunity and laughs AT God and says, "I refuse to accept what You are so graciously giving". |
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rahmat |
Posted - 03/01/2008 : 20:40:14
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Looking at life as if death is at the door. Interesting thought. In historic days and for some of us more recent, death IS in front of us in our families. People do not die in hospitals or hospices,they are shot on streets or lost in wars beside their friends. Automobile accidents happen. People die. We see it. Death IS at the door. Our life is fragile, precious, ephemeral.
A wilderness friend of mine says to recognize on the glacier that every step is the first step and every step could be the last is what puts everything into perspective and crystalizes focus. So. What do we do? Fear Death? NO. Fear Life? I hope not. Live life so when death comes you can tell the difference. And you can face it without fear. |
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Nabeel Chughtai |
Posted - 03/05/2008 : 07:27:07
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quote : Originally posted by KLindsay
Death is an inevitability so why dwell on it. We should all be concerned with living. Why some people spend so much time in their lives worrying about afterlifes, reincarnations and so on I will never truly understand.
because they want to know if there's afterlife after this one. wouldn't you want to know either?? that there's life after this life, that life is the transition from this one to the next.
if you search in the internet, you'll see many proof of life after this one. one of the best with scientific proof is
divinecosmos.com with many information. hope you enjoy! |
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jonarmis45 |
Posted - 03/05/2008 : 10:02:47
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Live life to the fullest when you can. :-)
This is the very message it conveys. Life is too short to be fighting around, carrying grudges, be unforgiving or spoiling a great day because of problems. Cheer up! You will never know what happens next day. Enjoy that moment and live life as if it's your last and for sure, you will never go wrong! |
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Kevin_Moriarty |
Posted - 03/08/2008 : 10:32:23
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If you take this idea, let me know how it goes.
TITLE: Deathbed Regrets
Interview people dying at a hospice and ask them what they would have done differently in their lives. |
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mfrielin |
Posted - 03/13/2008 : 03:07:08
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quote : Originally posted by Kevin_Moriarty
If you take this idea, let me know how it goes.
TITLE: Deathbed Regrets
Interview people dying at a hospice and ask them what they would have done differently in their lives.
Thanks Kevin...that's actually one hell of an idea. I'll definitely keep that in mind and when I write the article, I'll credit you.
Matt Frieling |
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sweetsadie |
Posted - 03/14/2008 : 18:27:43
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how about a different tactic?
My mother is dying of breast cancer - she was given months to live in 2004. The brutal part of her diagnosis was that she was 8 years past the intial breast cancer and masectomy and once you get five years past, the statistics say that you should be fine. Well the statistics were wrong.
But they werent the only ones that were wrong! Despite being told that the cancer had spread to her bones, liver, kidney etc my mother told the doctors that she had no intention of dying. She was due to be lady golf captain the next year and if you play golf you will know how important that is to a golf fanatic. My mother did become lady captain (with the help of her amazing friends). Despite chemo and considerable pain she did it and kept going to the amazement of her drs. Her family and friends werent that amazed as my mum has always been the get up and doer type - there is no reason to fail in her eyes. You never fail if you give it your best shot.
She has had her ups and downs - sometimes she cant get out of the bed due to the pain but she has never never given up. This Christmas past she asked for piano lessons and an interior design course. some people wouldnt see the point in asking for something like piano lessons as she is a complete novice but it is one of her dreams.
Medical opinion is that her time is limited but my mum continues to tell everyone, only if they ask as she doesnt dwell on it, that she has no intention of going anywhere and will not consider, in public anyway, the fact that she is dying. Despite having a terminal illness she is living life to the full and is such an inspiration to me. She is part of the reason I am trying to do this online stuff as I really want to be able to move home and be near to her.
There are many many people who "know" that they are dying - its what they do with that knowledge that is the key.
I have to go now as my computer will drown but please please have a section on how some people can be truly brave when it comes to death and dying. |
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Donnaleemason |
Posted - 03/17/2008 : 22:04:04
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quote : Originally posted by sweetsadie
how about a different tactic?
My mother is dying of breast cancer - she was given months to live in 2004. The brutal part of her diagnosis was that she was 8 years past the intial breast cancer and masectomy and once you get five years past, the statistics say that you should be fine. Well the statistics were wrong.
But they werent the only ones that were wrong! Despite being told that the cancer had spread to her bones, liver, kidney etc my mother told the doctors that she had no intention of dying. She was due to be lady golf captain the next year and if you play golf you will know how important that is to a golf fanatic. My mother did become lady captain (with the help of her amazing friends). Despite chemo and considerable pain she did it and kept going to the amazement of her drs. Her family and friends werent that amazed as my mum has always been the get up and doer type - there is no reason to fail in her eyes. You never fail if you give it your best shot.
She has had her ups and downs - sometimes she cant get out of the bed due to the pain but she has never never given up. This Christmas past she asked for piano lessons and an interior design course. some people wouldnt see the point in asking for something like piano lessons as she is a complete novice but it is one of her dreams.
Medical opinion is that her time is limited but my mum continues to tell everyone, only if they ask as she doesnt dwell on it, that she has no intention of going anywhere and will not consider, in public anyway, the fact that she is dying. Despite having a terminal illness she is living life to the full and is such an inspiration to me. She is part of the reason I am trying to do this online stuff as I really want to be able to move home and be near to her.
There are many many people who "know" that they are dying - its what they do with that knowledge that is the key.
I have to go now as my computer will drown but please please have a section on how some people can be truly brave when it comes to death and dying.
Aah Sweet Sadie,
You made my keyboard wet too.
May you have many years with your amazing mother and may she enjoy her piano lessons.
Donna |
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Living a Purposeful Life in the Face of Death