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What is Fear And How To Overcome It

by talfighel
20 replies
We all experience fear at some point or another in our lives.

Over the past 3 years that I have been publishing my Work At Home Newsletter, from the start I had a huge fear of writing articles and sending them to my email newsletter subscribers. What would people think? How would they respond? What if they dislike my articles and unsubscribe themselves from my newsletter. What if they report me to the "Article police". What if they send me some very nasty hate e-mails? I was scared of what people on my list would say to me or think about me and my articles.

I was totally scared but the good news is that 3 years later, I have written well over 250 articles and got many "thank you" emails from my subscribers for the great articles and content that I sent them.

What does this have to do with you? Everything. We ALL experience FEAR at some point whether we want to start making money online with some sort of a good and solid work at home opportunity or maybe we are already in one and are scared to take action and move forward.

The question isn't whether you're going to experience fear in your life or in your search for the right work at home opportunity. It's simply how you're going to react to it.

If you were to stand right in the middle of a highway and a truck comes barreling straight at you, what would you do? Well, the correct response is to get out of the way as fast as you can before the truck hits you. The point is this: Don't allow the fear to paralyze where you stand right now.

Once or twice a week, when I wanted to recommend a good product, I always had that thought in the back of my mind...What if no one buys. What if they hate it and email me back saying that it was a crappy product? That was a big fear for me.

I had a lot of What if... What if... What if... questions.

Well, there is a right and wrong action to fear.

The right reaction is to figure out what you fear, confront it, and move forward anyway.

The wrong reaction is to let the fear paralyze you. Don't confront it, and don't move forward.

Over the past few years I've have recommended many good and solid online income opportunities to my subscribers and to my website visitors who come from all of the major search engines like Google, Yahoo, and MSN and seen many people buy the products and never move forward. They were given the proper training on how to make it online but they never did anything with it because of FEAR.

Obviously, they feared something and that paralyzed them from moving forward. I even recommended programs that were so good and that other people were doing very well with, but many did not buy. They were paralyzed by fear instead. I can guarantee that their thoughts were:

"What if I lose that money and never make it back"
"What if I get ripped off"
"What if it takes too much work to succeed"
"What if I don't have the time during the day to do this"
"What if it takes me a while to make money"

Every NEW experience will be scary. I personally still get scared to write new articles or recommend new products to my website visitors and email subscribers but I go ahead and do it anyway. You have to overcome your fear and keep moving forward anyway. Whenever you FEAR something, face it, take action, and move forward anyway.

All the best to you.
#fear #overcome
  • Profile picture of the author Zanti
    Thanks for sharing an honest post. Very good information on the one thing that holds so many back from success in any field.

    FEAR = False-Evidence-Appearing-Real

    Z
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  • Profile picture of the author bobsedge
    Good post.

    I have been in business for well over 20 years and have developed many products. I am launching my latest which has been in development for over one year.

    In my opinion, here is the biggest fear in a nutshell that I always struggle to get through, yet is always there- the fear of replacing that feeling of hope and anticipation with the feeling of despair.

    Potential is wonderful. You get to talk about it. Speculate on it. And have unlimited hope. Once you start acting on that potential, you run the risk of failing and losing that euphoria.

    I would say that the vast majority of people that don't succeed, don't fail because they never act. They are perpetual wannabees. I'm not criticizing but this is an observation. It is so much easier to plan than to take action. On paper, everything always works. On paper, you are always a success.

    I think the reaason so many IM products aimed at "newbies" make a killing is that people want to be distracted with that next great approach that will push them back into planning mode. It is very comfortable there.
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  • Profile picture of the author Zanti
    Bob I couldn't agree with you more. In my past, what you describe was my major stumbling block. Even now I have to constantly be on guard not to fall back into old patterns.

    I spent the majority of my professional career (over 20 + years) as a management consultant and a regional director for a small business development center. When I look back at what I did with a reflection on what is discussed in this post I can see some very interesting things. I made a lot of money, millions for a lot of people at that time (very little for myself). For some of my clients I did more actual work marketing their products than they did.

    What I see now is it was the thrill of creating success for others that I could be a part in without the risk of failure. I used to fool myself and say that I really loved helping my clients become successful and for the most part that was true. But deep down I wanted to create that success for me, but the FEAR would show up once I started something and began acting on the potential, I would lose the euphoria.

    I lived my success through other people, without the risk of failure but also without the benefit of the gains of success.

    Which is why I now move forward without excuses and won't stop until I see a project through to the end. I owe this to myself.

    Yes, this is a great thread. Thanks for starting it Talfighel.

    Z
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    Brian Alexzander ~ Irie To The Highest - Respect
    "Irie"...the ultimate positive, powerful, pleasing, all encompassing quality/vibration

    A Candle Never Loses Any Of Its Own Light... By Lighting Another Candle

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  • Profile picture of the author bobsedge
    Z,

    But the real tricky part is going back to the drawing board when things don't work exactly as planned. Many of my products that were ultimately a success did not the least bit resemble the original design by the time I found a formula that worked. I also had products that I could never get to work. Sometimes I overestimated the demand or sometimes getting the results cost much more than I anticipated.

    My formula that I like to practice is to act often, evaluate quickly, adjust, and repeat until you get the results you want. The evaluation is the key because if you don't evaluate what looks like success may actually bleed you dry. I've done that too.
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  • Profile picture of the author Zanti
    Thanks Bob, couldn't agree more. My books at the end seldom resemble what I first thought. It's what I call the evolution of a product or project.

    When one has the right attitude and takes the proper approach and is willing to adjust and adapt to changing circumstances there really is no failure in anything that we do. We become more successful at finding out what doesn't work at any particular time.

    I could say that I've failed a lot or I've been successful at finding out what doesn't work. I chose the latter.

    Z
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    Brian Alexzander ~ Irie To The Highest - Respect
    "Irie"...the ultimate positive, powerful, pleasing, all encompassing quality/vibration

    A Candle Never Loses Any Of Its Own Light... By Lighting Another Candle

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  • Profile picture of the author talfighel
    I am so glad the I can share this info with you all. Hope it inspires those of you here who let FEAR paralyze them and their success in life.

    Tal
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  • Profile picture of the author artwebster
    Fear and worry are two faces of two different coins.

    Fear comes in circumstances that can be dangerous or debilitating like my fear of going to sleep at night because there is a real chance that I will not wake in the morning. Fear for others comes when you accept that your own mortality means that you have to be aware at all times that you must obey some of the rules laid down by the medics.

    What you are talking about is not fear - it is worrying about a self perpetuating lack of self confidence. The only way to over-come this is to have faith in what you do, say or teach. If you have reservations in any of these areas you will experience self doubt and worry about it.

    This is not fear.

    What if you could really believe that you are as good as you think you are?
    What if you could accept that you worry - you do not fear?
    What if you could ban all sentences that started with 'what if'?
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  • Profile picture of the author David_Thompson
    Whether in business or in personal life fear is one of the major factors that stops most people in their tracks, it's the silent killer...

    It paralyzes you from taking action and instead of taking action you find all kind of reasons why you shouldn't take even baby steps.

    Doubt, worry all comes down to fear of not being liked or appreciated, lets say you have tons of info to share with your subscribers but not knowing for sure your subscribers will like it you find most people will end up not doing anything...We all want to be liked and appreciated but when you are outside your comfort zone, you'll find all these other things steps in, like doubt and worry... FEAR

    --David
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  • Profile picture of the author Sean Kelly
    You should use the "cancel thought" command as explained by Tom McCarthy in this video:
    Science

    Sean
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    http://javadocs.com - Javadocs
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  • Profile picture of the author Jon Steel
    It's true what they say -

    "You get courage from your fear right after you go through it"

    js
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  • Profile picture of the author Adeel_Chowdhry
    I've just started reading a good book on this subject matter...

    It's called "Feel the Fear.. and Do It Anyway!".

    - it's really good and may help some people too.

    Available from Amazon for a few bucks.

    Adeel
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    • Profile picture of the author Corwinnx
      I learned this from Anthony Robbins in "Awaken The Giant"
      * this is not 'verbatim, I'm doing this from memory, but if you have any problems with 'fear' then "Awaken The Giant" is a MUST have. I had audio tapes that I listened to in the car, but I'm pretty sure there's a book.*

      Fear is a learned behavior. Think of a baby. Try to hand a snake to a baby. The baby will reach for it. The baby has not 'learned' to fear the snake. The parents have not yet 'taught' the fear, by instilling the facts that a snake may bite, that it may be poisonous.

      Human beings are genetically and socially engineered to 'avoid pain' instead of to 'create pleasure.'

      It is the 'fear' of 'pain' that we focus on, which:

      • holds us back from 'taking action'
      • causes the paralysis of analysis
      • prohibits us from focusing on 'creating pleasure'
      In "Awaken The Giant", Robbins teaches you to focus on 'creating pleasure.'

      When you associate the action with the 'desired result' in your mind, all of the possibilities of 'failure' become byproducts of the actions needed to reaching the goal, but they are not the focus and so, by 'keeping your eye on the ball', you will achieve success.

      If you want to quit smoking, and you focus on the pleasure that reaching the goal will provide, (breathing better, being able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, minty fresh breath) then things like withdrawl, and longing for that first drag after a meal, are only byproducts of the process. When the fear of experiencing these symptoms is where your mind is focused, you are actually focused on 'avoiding that pain, instead of the pleasure that will be created by quitting, hence you will try to avoid the pain by not quitting instead of creating the pleasure of quitting which is what will provide 'success.'

      When your mind is instead focused on the pleasures that quitting will create in your life, you will be able to quit.

      You can see examples of this in copywriting... there is a reason that a good copywriter knows to always start with the 'benefits.' This tactic puts the reader in a 'success driven' state of mind immediately. It opens the mind to become more receptive to the ideas contained within the rest of the sales letter, because the reader is already 'feeling the success.'

      You can also see this in "The Law Of Attraction" where you are taught to envision success, desired results, in order to 'attract' these things. The Law of Attraction, teaches that if you keep sending out 'negative vibes' to the Universe, or envisioning failure, that that is exactly what you will attract. Likewise, if you envision success, that is what you will attract. This is the same thing Robbins teaches when he teaches you to focus on 'creating pleasure. It is the same tactic that master copywriters will use to create the mindset of success by listing the 'benefits' of the product.

      Most of the 'success' books are based on these principles, they just use different words to describe the process... but look at all three examples and you'll see that the common denominator comes down to either focusing on your success or focusing on the fear of something that might cause pain.



      Warmest Regards,
      Marcus

      P.S. I'm a HUGE Tony Robbins fan! Can ya tell?
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  • Profile picture of the author fletch32
    you learn nothing from taking NO action and learn everything when you do!!

    Mike
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    “Discover how you can overcome the Number one reason why most internet newcomers fail to make it on-line” http://www.mindsetforsuccess.co.uk

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  • Profile picture of the author MarkAndrews IMCopywriting
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    • Profile picture of the author pheonix44
      I know what fear is. I wrote a blog post about it a while ago that I thought I would share. Read it and I hope you enjoy what you get out of it.

      The Other Side: What lies On The Other Side Of Fear


      I am writing from a different place today. Usually I write in my room where it is nice and warm, but I thought it would be only fitting that I write it from a place where so many of my old demons are left. The last time I was here I was miserable. I was broke and I was dreading every waking day. I was sleeping on a basement floor like a hobo and nothing was looking to good for the near future so many demons, but after the monumental steps that I have taken to overcome those things I stare these things in the face and I do not run. I am surrounded by people on all sides of me right now and anyone of them could be reading what I am writing on my screen, but I do not care because I intend it for eyes to see anyway. So it is only fitting. How frustrated and at the same time elated I feel right now. I just got my driver's license. Though that might not seem like a big deal to any of you let me tell you it is one of those demons in my closet, that if there where a such thing as levels of demons this one would be at the top. I failed my road test three times when I was trying to get it and I got it way in another county. I believe the first time that I got it the guy only gave it to me because he felt sorry for me and that if I failed again then I would not be able to take the test again. I still remember how I felt that day after I got it. I felt so good, I felt so relieved at the same time that it was finally over. This time I did not feel that way. I felt like it was something that I knew I was going to get no matter what happened. I felt like it had already been accomplished. I don't know why I felt that way, but I still was proud of it. I must have stared at it for like fifteen minutes when I was walking out of the dmv

      . That is how proud I was of the accomplishment. I did not think it would go so easy. Getting it was a breeze,but the moment was soured somewhat by the fact that the women behind the counter was kind've bitchy, but that was because I did not know what the hell I was doing. I was beginning to feel like a real fool for a moment, that is because I got outside of myself and when I get outside of myself those kind've things happen. I tried telling her to calm down, but she seemed to be hell bent on being in a bad mood. So now I am sitting in the library writing about the experience. I am in a place where I have been through so much hell you could not begin to believe. I started here years ago and it seemed like my decent was my own doing. The atmosphere around here is just different; it is like a whole different world, one that I felt like I was never apart of. I still do not feel like I am, but that does not matter to me anymore, the only things that matters to me is putting away things of the past and seeing everything as being apart of the same whole. This is the exact reason why I decided once and for all to face all my demons when the new year begin because I just knew that on the other side of all that fear was another side. Another side that I always wanted but was to afraid to go out there and get because I feared these very confrontations. So I would hide away and tuck my fear inside then walk around resentful because I did not have the nerve to change the situation.

      I decided to stop dreaming of the person I wanted to be and start being him. I have already taken too many steps to turn back now and I look forward to taking many more. This is something that I would not have done in the past, I am not trying to make it seem like I have changed over night, but I just decided the only way to conquer my fear was to just face it and whatever happened, happened. I have already seen that sometimes my fears will be realized. I hope I can stay within myself when those times occur. Some of the joy is taken away though because I know that I still have to go out there and get on that road and that is something that brings about deep fear in me. I do not know why, but just like the rest of the fears that I have continued to confront every since the start of the New Year I will face that one to and I will wait for what is on the other side because I know it is nothing but good.

      I hope you all can understand where I am coming from. I write this so that you guys can relate to me and I will always give you the very best of me even when I feel like crap and I felt like crap today, Sore neck, headache, heartache, herniated disks in my back with leg pain. I have been beaten down but I will not be beaten. As I have said already I will face these fears or die trying. I hope that you all can share my sentimate because I want you guys to understand one thing. Greatness and mediocrity are two worlds apart. One lies on the side of fear and the other one lies on the side of facing that fear. The other side, and that is the side that I want to be on and I want all you guys to be there with me. Thank you all for reading this and until tomorrow.
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  • Profile picture of the author SurviveUnemployment
    Fear is knowing what will happen if you can't make the rent.
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  • Profile picture of the author dcimonline
    I think my problem is with the fact that I dont know if ill make money after spending all the time to do so.

    I know I can write, I know I can get people to buy. Its just having faith in a product I think is what scares the crap out of me.

    I would be happy with a sale a day, but its just seems like too much of a risk. Ezines pisses me off too much, and its just scary thinking that all my work and effort can bring me nothing...

    ~David
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  • Profile picture of the author KPKP
    My 8-year-old came home from school and said, "Mom, the only way to fail is not to try." Most of the time we spend fearing things that won't ever happen. If we just allow life to take its course, and "be in the moment" more, not only do we enjoy all that is around us, regardless of our circumstances, we also cannot fear.

    Great post.
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