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Website needs reviewed. Also could you sell this online?

by runfast
10 replies
Hello Warriors,

I've been offline for awhile. We just had our third child. It was a Boy! So it's pretty exciting for my 2 other daughters.

Anyways, I just put together a sales page for one of my offline products. Can you please help me on the sales letter? I wrote it myself. I know a lot about the technical details but I don't know the "secret" to selling something using just words. I can sell something face to face but using just words is a whole different ball game. Let me know what I should change.

Also can something like this be actually sold on the "Internet". I know that people buy cars on Ebay. But what about an item like this?

Visit Site Here:
www.remotetrafficlight.com

Thanks in advance
Mike -runfast-

PS. If you are an offline Sales Rep and would interested in selling this. PM me.
#online #reviewed #sell #website
  • Profile picture of the author rosetrees
    Ok - just my 2c worth. If I worked for company and we needed remote control traffic lights I wouldn't buy from your page.

    It looks like an amateur blog. Sorry to be rude. I would want to see a professional looking site with photos of the product in use etc. Not a blog post.
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    • Profile picture of the author Zachary R. Skinner
      Originally Posted by rosetrees View Post

      Ok - just my 2c worth. If I worked for company and we needed remote control traffic lights I wouldn't buy from your page.

      It looks like an amateur blog. Sorry to be rude. I would want to see a professional looking site with photos of the product in use etc. Not a blog post.
      I completely agree.

      Selling this kind of high priced item on a blog is probably not a good idea, although I have seen items sell successfully on blogs before.

      If you're going to sell this kind of high priced product you need to invest in some nice graphics and professional copy.

      Your product might be totally kickass but no one would ever know that from looking at your sales page.

      I would also suggest having some video showing your product in action.

      BTW - you can get the sales copy and graphics done for a song by browsing thru WSO's
      Signature
      "The successful man is the one who finds out what is the matter with his business before his competitors do"
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    • Profile picture of the author runfast
      Originally Posted by rosetrees View Post

      Ok - just my 2c worth. If I worked for company and we needed remote control traffic lights I wouldn't buy from your page.

      It looks like an amateur blog. Sorry to be rude. I would want to see a professional looking site with photos of the product in use etc. Not a blog post.
      Thanks your honest opinion. It is not rude to me. I'm one that likes people that tell me the way things really are. Deception does not build good relationships in sales. So go ahead and shoot.
      Someone once said that I could sell ice to Eskimos. I'm doubt this is true but I do know that selling Online is a different then Offline.
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      If Life gives you Lemons...make Lemonade!

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  • Profile picture of the author sikaz
    l visited the site and took my time to read the copy.l didn't see much that is wrong in this,except perhaps if the real EXPERTS in copywriting would disagree with this observation.

    You asked if there is a difference in the online and offline sales or marketing idea or principles.Well, to the best of my knowledge there isn't much the only thing is that there is lack of physical presence of face-to-face.

    Words as you utter them and as you write them have the same impact - this l know as a writer of novels and short stories myself.

    Cheers!
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    • Profile picture of the author runfast
      Originally Posted by sikaz View Post

      l visited the site and took my time to read the copy.l didn't see much that is wrong in this,except perhaps if the real EXPERTS in copywriting would disagree with this observation.

      You asked if there is a difference in the online and offline sales or marketing idea or principles.Well, to the best of my knowledge there isn't much the only thing is that there is lack of physical presence of face-to-face.

      Words as you utter them and as you write them have the same impact - this l know as a writer of novels and short stories myself.

      Cheers!
      Thanks for your feedback. I posted this on the Copywriting Forum and got some really negative feedback. I really like negative feedback because then I can relate to Thomas Edison "one wrong thing discard is another step forward to success".

      I am learning that their is a HUGE difference between online and offline marketing...at least offline I could sell even though I have bad grammar.
      Signature

      If Life gives you Lemons...make Lemonade!

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  • Profile picture of the author sikaz
    l visited the site and took my time to read the copy.l didn't see much that is wrong in this,except perhaps if the real EXPERTS in copywriting would disagree with this observation.

    You asked if there is a difference in the online and offline sales or marketing idea or principles.Well, to the best of my knowledge there isn't much the only thing is that there is lack of physical presence of face-to-face.

    Words as you utter them and as you write them have the same impact - this l know as a writer of novels and short stories myself.

    Cheers!
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  • Profile picture of the author Aljiro
    A more "Professional" Website would probably increase your chances at success. In My Honest Opinion
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  • Profile picture of the author Mogly
    If I do say so, maybe if you took it out of a blog style and into more of a normal webpage it might appear better. But other than that, the content looks really good! Keep up the good work.
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  • Profile picture of the author Joeman
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author runfast
      Originally Posted by Joeman View Post

      I agree with the rest of the comments. i've only skimmed over the contents, but the colours and design just dont really seem to sell traffic lights to me, and i dont think they would appeal to the road digger types.

      Try this site (not mine)
      Sun Traffic Signals
      Thanks for the link. Joeman

      I like the photo you posted. I think this is a good analogy of what the inside of my brain looks like.
      Signature

      If Life gives you Lemons...make Lemonade!

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  • Profile picture of the author kentaiwan98
    Two things you could easily do that would help to make it more professional: edit the sidebar (or even remove it). Change the header graphic, too.

    While it wouldn't improve that much, it would break the I'm a blog look.

    Kenneth
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