An example of hysterically bad writing

[innovator]

"But thanks to the god"

I really laughed. Maybe he's praying to his writing gods when he's writing this one.

[peter gibson]

Originally Posted by Joseph Then

Wow, if that's the quality of the work, I must be a damn good writer compared to these.

My 4 year old nephew is Kurt Vonnegut compared to that.

[cyberchick]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

Ouch Dee,

That REALLY hurt!
Monika

[ramone_johnny]

This is another example of why you should go through a thorough screening process when hiring.

[wbakhos]

I love it... need a good laugh once in a while..

I actually think I would be more inclined to click on the link just to understand what in the world this person was going on about. Interesting tactic...

[Motiv8td]

tahknfluly I hvaen't had that exeprinece yet wtih all of the wtriers I've hierd in my shrot tmie here on WF. I'm not srue how I wolud repsond to that. I do konw it's fun to wirte like tihs someimtes baceuse the brian still regstiers what we are rediang. I wulod rahter spsonor a chlid in a trhid world conutry than to pay for that.

[deezine]

OMG that piece of article is hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing while reading it.

[George Wright]

Great Job Dee,

The Warrior Forum Is ranked # 1 for this For the popular key words, the world is moving first.

"The world is moving first" - Google Search=

Keep up the good work

George Wright

[Jon Alexander]

It's been translated OUT of a language INTO english, and then 'polished' by someone who doesn't actually have very good english. That much is obvious. It may even have been translated OUT of english, into another language and then back into English a la caffeinated content, etc.

With a little research, it might even be possible to track down the original article.

[rosetrees]

Originally Posted by sevenish

Those gems are not Dee's intellectual property. However, you can find a few of this particular author's insights here:
Google

When I posted the gem I found earlier and said it was by the same author, I was joking.

Thanks to the power of the Big G I can see it wasn't a joke. OMG - it really IS by the same author

[rapidscc]

What would be funnier is if you could actually submit that under a pen name and see how much hits it will get. What would be better is if you could apply the entire SEO process there and see it rank in the serps.

If that thing sells something it will be a MIRACLE!

Putting that online will be a good experiment..Let's see if it sells something..coz if it does..then even idiots can really make money online :-)

Then we could make an ebook "Idiot's Method : Make Money In The Internet Even If You're A Dumbass!" -- Foolproof!

Anybody wants to try that experiment?


oMar/Rapidscc

[Hardi Wijaya]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

It's painful reading it. But when I read it out loud to my wife, she understood it. Funny...


Hardi

[liza31n]

The better way is ask some samples of article work done before you hire.$2 is still a money and every cent is important.

[kennethtang]

That's because both you and I (and I suspect a lot of Malaysians, Indonesians, Singaporeans, and other non-native English speakers) are really "fasih" in what we call "charplang Inggeris" LOL!

Originally Posted by Hardi Wijaya

It's painful reading it. But when I read it out loud to my wife, she understood it. Funny...


Hardi

[peter gibson]

Originally Posted by kennethtang

That's because both you and I (and I suspect a lot of Malaysians, Indonesians, Singaporeans, and other non-native English speakers) are really "fasih" in what we call "charplang Inggeris" LOL!

Why oh why does Singapore get lumped in with the bunch all the time? I know they are geographically close but contextually so is US and Mexico. I don't go around lumping all Americans as bad cooks if I eat a bad Taco.

Jeez that gets me riled. Don't get me wrong, I'm Canadian and only live here, but Kenneth Singaporeans are taught ENGLISH as their first language, COMPULSORY in all schools. In fact I know some Singaporeans that can outright smoke me at scrabble.

[kennethtang]

Why should it rile you. Peter? And what is wrong with being "lumped with the bunch"? You say "the bunch" (Malaysians, Indonesians, etc, minus Singapore) as if it's a bad thing.Was that your insinuation?

I don't doubt that they're taught English as a first language, and I don't doubt that some of them can smoke you at Scrabble but that does not negate the fact they could understand that passage BECAUSE they can understand the kind of English I was referring to.

That's because the way we (Chinese, Malays, Indians, Sikhs, etc - BTW, I'm Malaysian) speak/read/think have a similar linguistic pattern that has some affinity to the pattern of that passage above.

In any case, whenever I lump Indonesians, Malaysians, Singaporeans, etc.,etc, together, it is out of a sense of affinity. We share a somewhat similar background historically and culturally. I see "us" as "kakinang" (ask your Singaporean friends what that means)

And I will continue to lump them together in a bunch -- as long as the issue in question can generally be conceived to refer to some commonality among them/us.

Originally Posted by peter gibson

Why oh why does Singapore get lumped in with the bunch all the time? I know they are geographically close but contextually so is US and Mexico. I don't go around lumping all Americans as bad cooks if I eat a bad Taco.

Jeez that gets me riled. Don't get me wrong, I'm Canadian and only live here, but Kenneth Singaporeans are taught ENGLISH as their first language, COMPULSORY in all schools. In fact I know some Singaporeans that can outright smoke me at scrabble.

[bryce]

Originally Posted by crissanteiro

I got one of those and the person asked me to explain what was wrong with it. How do you answer that?

You say.....

"It is with the grace by god that shame for bad england and pour grammer missus those that are first enough to out run the wait gain berry"

Then he would say, "Ahhhh I see - Well I can fix that for you"

This is the reason I started writing my own, and then took someone else on to cope with the overflow. Now we write, edit, proof read all our own material, and for others too. You get what you pay for

[Shana_Adam]

Which god are we referring to I have the encyclopedia of Gods and Goddesses well over 3000 listed there. It may help to gain rapport by maybe naming one of those Gods how about the God of loosing wait?

[sbucciarel]

Originally Posted by GeorgR.

thanks to the gods and thanks to the wonders of the the holy acai berry of antioch...

I am 100% sure its the same guy who once wrote something for me..i was just reading in awe...and didn't know whether i should laugh or cry....

lol .... cry

[kennethtang]

Originally Posted by GeorgR.

thanks to the gods and thanks to the wonders of the the holy acai berry of antioch...

Sounds like an epistle to the church in antioch lol

[SurviveUnemployment]

What is the point of it? Backlinks have no value if nobody clicks them. Building a brand is all about building trust. You couldn't pay me enough to represent myself with an article like that.

[rosetrees]

Originally Posted by SaifChowdhury

I am quite sure a spinner have been used to re-write as I can see good use of vocublary.

Can you? Where?

[dblgdee]

Article spinners are a both good and bad
Good because they can provide easy content which is what the Search engines require, but bad, because of the lousy content that can be produced and abused.

It is not difficult to visualise the search engines and the article directories getting pissed and slapping more people around when the technology to identify duplicate content improves.
There has been some buzz about SLI, which has yet to be proven.
Till then....

[Pufferf1sh]

There might even be a whole niche out there to entertain folks with awful copy writing!

[Jon Alexander]

Originally Posted by rosetrees

Can you? Where?

yeah, it's a language translation job. Not a spinner per se.

[Talinn]

My grandma could write better than that - she even doesn't know English and moreover, she is dead.

May The God give her peace!

[peter gibson]

Originally Posted by kennethtang

Why should it rile you. Peter? And what is wrong with being "lumped with the bunch"? You say "the bunch" (Malaysians, Indonesians, etc, minus Singapore) as if it's a bad thing.Was that your insinuation?

I don't doubt that they're taught English as a first language, and I don't doubt that some of them can smoke you at Scrabble but that does not negate the fact they could understand that passage BECAUSE they can understand the kind of English I was referring to.

That's because the way we (Chinese, Malays, Indians, Sikhs, etc - BTW, I'm Malaysian) speak/read/think have a similar linguistic pattern that has some affinity to the pattern of that passage above.

In any case, whenever I lump Indonesians, Malaysians, Singaporeans, etc.,etc, together, it is out of a sense of affinity. We share a somewhat similar background historically and culturally. I see "us" as "kakinang" (ask your Singaporean friends what that means)

And I will continue to lump them together in a bunch -- as long as the issue in question can generally be conceived to refer to some commonality among them/us.

Sorry you misunderstood lah, was being tongue in cheek. And believe me, I understand what kakinang (my own people) means. I've been living here married to an "Ah Lian" for 10 years!! I am already graduated to "ah beng" myself - leg up at the coffee shops all the time.

Jangan stress bruddah!!

[DeePower]

I edited my original post but I'll post this here as well for those of you who are just looking at the updates.

Yes I own the article so I can post it where ever I like. And Yes I asked for samples. The samples were okay. And finally part of this was an experiment. There has been a lot of debate whether you can get quality for $2.00 for 500 words. This is the second time I've bought ghostwritten articles (for my own sites not for clients) and the second time they have been bad, really bad. The first was from an individual, the second from a writing service. Both had lots of praise on the threads.

It was not from wf but from dp.

Dee

[Sumit Menon]

Looks like it was written in some other language, translated and thesaurased.

[Shana_Adam]

I like the analogy of not being able to see the forest for the trees. As with writing articles pompous words and bad grammar can do more harm than intended. Clean simple language that is easy to follow is key. If the person had read their article out loud to themselves they would have heard how the words don't flow.

One way to test good English that is if you have time is to use windows sound recorder and record the article as you read it (wont take more than 2min). Then play it back and see how the language flows and sounds. This is what people will hear in their own minds when they read an article - obviously in their own voice.

English probably is not the first language of the above writer.

[Collette]

Originally Posted by Keith Kogane

...
Not defending paying for horrible writing like that, but for me, rewriting the above took less time than writing it from scratch, since I don't know anything about Acai really. I didn't have to think about it, I just fixed it.

It's not great now or anything, but it's readable, and would probably be a good piece to blog for backlinks.

If you have a bunch of terrible PLR laying around (like me) don't give up on it without giving it a shot at a translation. ...

Here's why it matters: This is from another "article" by the same author:

"the Dogo Argentino does not only excel in fields of hunting but in tracking, search and rescue, drug detection, police and military, and family pet as well. Because of its unparalleled intelligence and reliability, this dog is also being used as a guide dog for the blind and service animal for other disabled people."

I challenge you to find a service dog training organization that would recommend this breed for guide dog or service work.

The Dogo is not an all-purpose dog - as the article implies. Nor is the Dogo a dog that anyone should own.

Dogo Argentinos are extremely powerful, very dominant, high-energy dogs, with a high prey drive. The breed also has a high disposition towards congenital deafness (can you imagine a deaf dog leading the blind??). Additionally, like many of the "bully breeds", this breed of dog may exhibit animal aggressiveness at @ 3 - 5 years of age. Again, totally NOT suitable for guide or service work.

So, the article gives crap information. If you don't know the niche well enough, you wouldn't catch the inaccuracy. And you could be passing on information that is false, misleading, and, in this case, potentially downright dangerous.

This is what so many people don't "get" about using below-market-price writers. If you're working for little or nothing, you have to crank out hundreds of these things just to cover your basic cost of living. You simply don't have the time to make sure that your article content has any kind of quality - never mind the writing.

Granted, "curb attract" is not life-threatening. But neither does the piece contain any information of value. Do you really want your name behind crap?

And anyone who can clean up writing that crappy, could write a better piece of filler fluff in the time it takes to read, decipher, and rewrite the crap.

For free.

BTW: The articles are apparently spun using some sort of "Wizard". And you can subscribe to get more of the same delivered directly to your in-box.

Yippie.

[Keith Kogane]

Originally Posted by Collette

Here's why it matters: This is from another "article" by the same author:

"the Dogo Argentino does not only excel in fields of hunting but in tracking, search and rescue, drug detection, police and military, and family pet as well. Because of its unparalleled intelligence and reliability, this dog is also being used as a guide dog for the blind and service animal for other disabled people."

I challenge you to find a service dog training organization that would recommend this breed for guide dog or service work.

The Dogo is not an all-purpose dog - as the article implies. Nor is the Dogo a dog that anyone should own.

Dogo Argentinos are extremely powerful, very dominant, high-energy dogs, with a high prey drive. The breed also has a high disposition towards congenital deafness (can you imagine a deaf dog leading the blind??). Additionally, like many of the "bully breeds", this breed of dog may exhibit animal aggressiveness at @ 3 - 5 years of age. Again, totally NOT suitable for guide or service work.

So, the article gives crap information. If you don't know the niche well enough, you wouldn't catch the inaccuracy. And you could be passing on information that is false, misleading, and, in this case, potentially downright dangerous.

This is what so many people don't "get" about using below-market-price writers. If you're working for little or nothing, you have to crank out hundreds of these things just to cover your basic cost of living. You simply don't have the time to make sure that your article content has any kind of quality - never mind the writing.

Granted, "curb attract" is not life-threatening. But neither does the piece contain any information of value. Do you really want your name behind crap?

And anyone who can clean up writing that crappy, could write a better piece of filler fluff in the time it takes to read, decipher, and rewrite the crap.

For free.

BTW: The articles are apparently spun using some sort of "Wizard". And you can subscribe to get more of the same delivered directly to your in-box.

Yippie.

You point out a true problem with outsourced articles, but you can just as easily get an incorrectly researched article by someone who CAN write, too - even someone who was paid highly for it. These kinds of articles even get published in newspapers and win awards before they're caught out.

The quality of the writing and the quality of the research are two different issues. The quality can be fixed quickly and easily. The research can't. The only way you can know the verity of the research behind any article you buy, regardless of quality, regardless of price, is by looking it up yourself.

I guess the key if you're outsourcing is to seek out quality sources who can produce consistently and accurately.

I don't outsource content myself, but I do often reuse PLR, which I guess is similar. I don't proof every article for verity, but I think that because I approach all of my niche blogs as an "editor" and because I review lots of content in every niche I go into when selecting it, I think I develop as good an eye as possible for content that's just patently false and potentially harmful.

But that's the best I CAN do unless I want to write it all myself. (Which I don't.)

[Collette]

Originally Posted by Keith Kogane

...You point out a true problem with outsourced articles, but you can just as easily get an incorrectly researched article by someone who CAN write, too - even someone who was paid highly for it. ...I guess the key if you're outsourcing is to seek out quality sources who can produce consistently and accurately...

True words. But you can increase your odds of getting halfway decent content by budgeting for a writer who can spend a little time on producing quality.

It's just that I see people advertising for writers and looking to pay $1 for a 300 - 1,000 word article (outsourcing sites like eLance are notorious for this, and you see some of it here on the WF, too.).

I have to wonder what in the hell kind of article they seriously expect to get for that kind of money. To me, it's not worth paying 1-cent for crap.

Yeah, it takes a little more time to find a quality writer. But it's worth it. Having quality content on your site can make the difference between 1,000 sales and no sales at all.

[seasoned]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

Edited to add: Yes I own the article so I can post it where ever I like. And Yes I asked for samples. The samples were okay. And finally part of this was an experiment. There has been a lot of debate whether you can get quality for $2.00 for 500 words. This is the second time I've bought ghostwritten articles (for my own sites not for clients) and the second time they have been bad.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

Should we try to rewrite this to what we THINK the intended meaning might be? My guess is:

Even in this day and age, we still have only one life to live, and have to try to merely get by. To do all this can be quite complicated. We still easily fall prey. Obesity and unwanted fat gain are the two most irritating problems that affect our lives.

Thank God that there is a product to reliably get rid of such problems. It is an amazing friuit that provides a number of health benefits. Yes! Acai helps you lose weight very fast. Let's take a look at how it helps you lose weight!

OK, was I CLOSE?

Steve

[seasoned]

Originally Posted by Shana_Adam

I like the analogy of not being able to see the forest for the trees. As with writing articles pompous words and bad grammar can do more harm than intended. Clean simple language that is easy to follow is key. If the person had read their article out loud to themselves they would have heard how the words don't flow.

One way to test good English that is if you have time is to use windows sound recorder and record the article as you read it (wont take more than 2min). Then play it back and see how the language flows and sounds. This is what people will hear in their own minds when they read an article - obviously in their own voice.

English probably is not the first language of the above writer.

First, I would HOPE English was not their first language. It ALSO sounds like they are NOT Christian, Jewish, or even Muslim!

As for the language, it has LONG been said that you should write so a 13yo American can easily understand it. Although I have hated that assertion, and thought it was generally silly, it is FAR more true in these days, when even people whose "first language" IS English speak POORLY! Of course, that is exacerbated by the fact that we are talking about the INTERNET!

Steve

[DeePower]

The article was supposed to be about weight loss and acai berries. I don't want to spend time rewriting it. I don't want to spend time second guessing what the intent was. I paid to have a 300 word article written of decent, not even good, quality that I could post on a blog under a pen name and link to one of my sites. Going in I knew the odds were less than 50:50 I'd get what I paid for. As I said it was partly an experiment.

Dee

[seasoned]

Originally Posted by DeePower

The article was supposed to be about weight loss and acai berries. I don't want to spend time rewriting it. I don't want to spend time second guessing what the intent was. I paid to have a 300 word article written of decent, not even good, quality that I could post on a blog under a pen name and link to one of my sites. Going in I knew the odds were less than 50:50 I'd get what I paid for. As I said it was partly an experiment.

Dee

I was seriously curious, even if I WAS kidding about the challenge. Yeah, I KNOW! Frankly, most Acai stuff is used to SCAM, so I am AGAINST it. And I consider obesity to not truly be a problem if it is DESIRED. Although I DO, just BARELY, meet the idea of bieng obese, I am losing the weight because I just DON'T WANT IT! In short, I would not have considered that to be two different problems. BTW if anyone thinks I DID look obese before(I think that unlikely though), I DID lose 50 pounds. After losing another 18, I should be fine in anyone's book.

There ARE products, that many swear by, that are better and cheaper than most Acai in other respects.

Steve

[Shana_Adam]

Originally Posted by seasoned

First, I would HOPE English was not their first language. It ALSO sounds like they are NOT Christian, Jewish, or even Muslim!

As for the language, it has LONG been said that you should write so a 13yo American can easily understand it. Although I have hated that assertion, and thought it was generally silly, it is FAR more true in these days, when even people whose "first language" IS English speak POORLY! Of course, that is exacerbated by the fact that we are talking about the INTERNET!

Steve

Yes, sadly it is true, even in countries where English is the first language the illiteracy rate amongst adults is horrifying. One of the reasons why maybe due to the lifestyle prevalent in western society - the push button syndrome of TV, video and internet.

50 years ago people would be reading books. None of that nowadays.
Also the media I believe cultivate the illiteracy, tabloids especially where they tend to use very simple English just in case they lose readership.

[seasoned]

Originally Posted by Shana_Adam

Yes, sadly it is true, even in countries where English is the first language the illiteracy rate amongst adults is horrifying. One of the reasons why maybe due to the lifestyle prevalent in western society - the push button syndrome of TV, video and internet.

50 years ago people would be reading books. None of that nowadays.
Also the media I believe cultivate the illiteracy, tabloids especially where they tend to use very simple English just in case they lose readership.

I could read before I was 5. I STILL remember almost laughing at people in my first grade class(The average age of 1st graders in the US is 6yo) trying to read words. I was reading whole sentences with the intended expression, etc... and they merely parroted words with no meaning as they never REALLY saw the sentence.

STILL, I bet I would not have even graduated first grade if I couldn't read. It would have been a DISGRACE!

ABout 12 years ago I knew a LOT of "teachers"! Even THIRD GRADE "teachers"(average age of 3rd graders, in the US, is 8) said that an illiterate student should NOT be encouraged to try to read, as it might hurt their self esteem!

BTW when I was a kid, MOST tvs and radios had DIALS, but what is the real difference!?!? MOST of the Internet is WRITTEN, and much of that is in ENGLISH! So don't blame the internet.

As for simple english? MOST publications and MANY books do the SAME!

Steve

[Axeman63]

Last time i read something that bad was a Richard Bandler book.

[Shana_Adam]

Originally Posted by Axeman63

Last time i read something that bad was a Richard Bandler book.

awww I love Richard Bandler he is hilarious!

[MeCanX]

I just stopped reading at about half way...makes me feel like I actually know how to write!

[tranquility]

Yoda strikes again.

[AnnM]

Dee - your $2 has brought us all a much needed laugh. Thanks
Now to get back to writing a few better articles.

[Shana_Adam]

yes thank you for sharing your hilarious article - it would be great to have a section called the best of Warrior Forum and place that nugget in there!

Thanks to the God! We had a good laugh on Saturday!

[Zack Lim]

My goodness. The quality of the article is indeed bad and I personally think that it is not even worth the $2 price tag.

Zack

[Elliott]

Can I buy it with resale rights?

Elliott

[seasoned]

Originally Posted by tranquility

Yoda strikes again.

COME ON! Yoda DID speak better English!

[Robyn8243]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

Edited to add: Yes I own the article so I can post it where ever I like. And Yes I asked for samples. The samples were okay. And finally part of this was an experiment. There has been a lot of debate whether you can get quality for $2.00 for 500 words. This is the second time I've bought ghostwritten articles (for my own sites not for clients) and the second time they have been bad.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

Thanks for the laugh.

Reminds me of something I got a while back when someone told me you could get good cheap articles at MechanicalTurk. My intro wasn't nearly as amusing as this one. At least your $2 bought a lot of laughter to everyone reading it here.

Maybe you could use it as a test before you hire anyone in the future. Send them the article and ask if they could write something of similar quality. If they don't respond by double checking that you are just joking, you can cross them off your list.

Robyn

[kenboss]

Originally Posted by Michael Oksa

I am convinced this was not computer generated.

"...loosing wait..." is why I think it wasn't.

Also, if you tell then everything that is wrong with it, then you are, in effect, doing all of the proofreading for them. Isn't that THEIR job?

IMHO, telling them what was wrong with this alleged article wouldn't be classed as proofreading. It would be more akin to an autopsy report...