An example of hysterically bad writing

[DeePower]

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

Edited to add: Yes I own the article so I can post it where ever I like. And Yes I asked for samples. The samples were okay. And finally part of this was an experiment. There has been a lot of debate whether you can get quality for $2.00 for 500 words. This is the second time I've bought ghostwritten articles (for my own sites not for clients) and the second time they have been bad.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

[Sandi Valentine]

Nice. I'm impressed - can I get ten of those?

[PatriciaJ]

That almost tempted me to pack in the Wii Fit and opt for Acai Berry to lose my 'wait'

[rosetrees]

I found another one by the same author:

"Curb attract is quite an only the rank of attractiveness your home designs to watchers from the street.This is even more important when selling on your own because you don’t have a realtor to hype the interior as worth a looking at.

Is it deserving the inconvenience to place, if you don’t have good curb charm? The payback value on exterior promotes to your belongings range from 49% for landscaping betterments to 62% for out home betterments, such as painting."

[debra]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

Yep...your right. Now, don't ever do that to me again!

I have my grand daughter here today for a little while. So...I read it to her just to see what a 4 year old response would be.

She said..."huh...NaNa...I thought Jesus (she's referring to god...she still knows him as Jesus) loved us.

P.S. Sorry for the lame post but it was to cute to pass up...and she just made my day.

[GeorgR.]

thanks to the gods and thanks to the wonders of the the holy acai berry of antioch...

I am 100% sure its the same guy who once wrote something for me..i was just reading in awe...and didn't know whether i should laugh or cry....

[Jillian Slack]

That's truly painful.

[Collette]

Actually, I think these pieces may have been written by someone I saw advertising 10 articles for $1. The web site copy was painfully similar.

I would go into more detail. But first, I must move with great progress to my landscaping betterments. Thanks to the god, I am living first-life to keep tandem with out advanced home betterments and that curb attract is deserving the inconvenience to place.

[crissanteiro]

I got one of those and the person asked me to explain what was wrong with it. How do you answer that?

[Jeremy Kelsall]

lol...

It is a horrible article!

But...

In a niche like acai berry, the article can suck and still make money. I wouldn't be surprised if the guy didn't get 3 or 4 sales off that article at $35 a pop.

[DeePower]

I got one of those and the person asked me to explain what was wrong with it. How do you answer that?

One word: everything.

Dee

[SteelDanno]

Amazing bad how that article is.

Hehe. :-P

[pbennett]

I remember once freaking out after reading my CEO's writing for the website. I desperately wanted to fix it and he wouldn't let me. He said it was written that way for his market....

really bad stuff.

Is this garbage computer generated???

[Scott Ames]

Originally Posted by crissanteiro

I got one of those and the person asked me to explain what was wrong with it. How do you answer that?

Funny!!

Dewe is not much wwong wif youw awticwes. Dey awe just fine. Sowwy, I was wwong.

[Jillian Slack]

Originally Posted by Collette

I would go into more detail. But first, I must move with great progress to my landscaping betterments. Thanks to the god, I am living first-life to keep tandem with out advanced home betterments and that curb attract is deserving the inconvenience to place.

Well put, Collette. Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Jeff Henshaw]

I'd get him/her to write me about 50 articles and then I'd produce an ebook on how not to write articles, citing those particular articles as examples.

I wonder if he/she does ebook covers too!

Could turn out to be a best seller.

Jeff.

[cashcow]

I the article is actually worth $2 just for the laugh!

[Steven Wagenheim]

Gimmie his email address...I wanna hire him as my PR man.

[JohnMcCabe]

I wonder what would happen if you put one of those monstrosities through an article spinner...

Would the spinner program butcher it so completely it comes out readable?

[Rezbi]

They look like they've been spun already.

[Steven Wagenheim]

Originally Posted by JohnMcCabe

I wonder what would happen if you put one of those monstrosities through an article spinner...

Would the spinner program butcher it so completely it comes out readable?

I think it would crash.

[Lisa Gergets]

There are no words.

Obviously.

[GuerrillaIM]

Not sure what you expect to get for $2. Even in the third world there are better paid jobs for literate people.

[sevenish]

That's not writing. It may qualify as terrible typing though (if I may paraphrase Truman Capote).

[mojuu]

How great is this. Not even a machine could do that. Wonderful.

[rlpruitt]

Well, unfortunately that's the kind of quality I've been running into myself. It's forced me to spend the last week writing my own articles - something I hate to do 'cause for me it's VERY time consuming.

I just can't afford to pay someone to write the kind of stuff I want.

Ralph

[traces2757]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

I hope this facial tic that article gave me isn't permanent.

[hangtimenino]

Didnt you ask for samples of his work before you actually hired him? He sounds like a word for word english translator to me.

[moralde]

Any more of those articles and we all would have nose bleeds.

I admire the guts of this writer for being still in the writing business. I bet everyone of his clients has contacted him back about the same complaint. Uh, anyway, he'd just answer back 'What's wrong with it?'. And when the client fails to answer (in exasperation), he'd be thinking, 'see, there was nothing wrong with it'.

[Michael Oksa]

I am convinced this was not computer generated.

"...loosing wait..." is why I think it wasn't.

Also, if you tell then everything that is wrong with it, then you are, in effect, doing all of the proofreading for them. Isn't that THEIR job?

Oh well.

Positive the outcome forwarning at outside applause form after timelessness. Mistake is well into and more same, finally. Stars over fencing butternut squash tamale oatmeal.

All the best,
Michael

[sevenish]

Originally Posted by Michael Oksa

Mistake is well into and more same ...

Beautiful! Butternut squash tamale is quite poetic as well.

[gskesavan]

Spun + Written so that he needn't rewrite the whole part of the article. I used to write $2 a piece (don't look at me like that guys ) but I never once have written like that.. maybe that's why I'm at least having most of the clients with me

Anyways, why would you go for those $2 articles? Go with a reputed writer, it's the best and worth the money.

Btw, excellent article, I'm impressed by the way he's able to excite us.

[kennethtang]

Scary thing is....I understood that passage

[CDarklock]

Originally Posted by DeePower

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee, do you mind if I use this on my sales page as a concrete example of why nobody should hire these people?

I've got some bad writing examples on my computer, but honestly, nothing quite like this.

[sevenish]

Originally Posted by CDarklock

Dee, do you mind if I use this on my sales page as a concrete example of why nobody should hire these people?

I've got some bad writing examples on my computer, but honestly, nothing quite like this.

Those gems are not Dee's intellectual property. However, you can find a few of this particular author's insights here:
Google

Edit: I just noticed most of those links are unavailable. Hmmm, I wonder why ...
Here's another set:
Google

[Keith Kogane]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

Oh come now. Sounds like a challenge! It just needs a little translation:

In the modern world, everything moves fast and we have to live fast just to keep up. But because of this hectic pace, our lifestyles can make us fall prey to diseases like unwanted weight gain or even obesity. Being overweight can make life irritating, not to mention being a severe health risk.

But thank goodness! Now there's a reliable, safe way to get rid of unwanted weight and help fight obesity. This wonderful fruit provides a number of health benefits, but the primary benefit of an Acai Berry diet is that it will help you lose weight fast. Take a look at how an Acai Berry Diet can help you lose weight here.

Not defending paying for horrible writing like that, but for me, rewriting the above took less time than writing it from scratch, since I don't know anything about Acai really. I didn't have to think about it, I just fixed it.

It's not great now or anything, but it's readable, and would probably be a good piece to blog for backlinks.

If you have a bunch of terrible PLR laying around (like me) don't give up on it without giving it a shot at a translation. What's funny is that after a while, you can almost READ this stuff if you look at it enough, and you can work through them with re-writes pretty quickly.

I'd be maaaaaad if I paid more than a dime for that article though.

[LilBlackDress]

Originally Posted by Keith Kogane

Oh come now. Sounds like a challenge! It just needs a little translation:

In the modern world, everything moves fast and we have to live fast just to keep up. But because of this hectic pace, our lifestyles can make us fall prey to diseases like unwanted weight gain or even obesity. Being overweight can make life irritating, not to mention being a severe health risk.

But thank goodness! Now there's a reliable, safe way to get rid of unwanted weight and help fight obesity. This wonderful fruit provides a number of health benefits, but the primary benefit of an Acai Berry diet is that it will help you lose weight fast. Take a look at how an Acai Berry Diet can help you lose weight here.

Great translation! I love it!

[GeorgR.]

yes...but you don't pay anyone and then sit down yourself and do it over..defies the purpose
By the way...did you purchase the service from DP forum?

[Keith Kogane]

Originally Posted by GeorgR.

yes...but you don't pay anyone and then sit down yourself and do it over..defies the purpose
By the way...did you purchase the service from DP forum?

I mean, it depends. If I got 10 like that for $1, I think the time and brainpower it would save me is worth it. I'm one of those people cursed by a blank page though. I'd much rather rewrite anything than write from scratch.

That's why I also love vendors who provide swipe copy, too. I heavily re-write to make it my own, but I don't have to think at all or review anything or research anything. Of course this is IMHO, and YMMV.

I just find it to be quick to read, translate in my head, re-type. And hey, you end up with something TRULY unique that way. :P

[Rus Sells]

Why you do fun make of article write I? I many hours my rack brain to content this provide!

I copywrite sue for now!!!!

[AndrewCavanagh]

I think you're being a bit over critical here. That article really spoke to me.

I mean who isn't worn out from this "first moving world" and how isn't living "first-life" trying to "keep tandem with everything around."

I'm pretty sure that's all of us. Yes indeed.

And yes "thanks to the god!" so many of us in our "living first-life" lifestyle "fall prey" to "irritating diseases" like "unwanted weight-gaining".

I know it's "severely affecting" to many of our lifes.

If I was wanting to "loosing weight" I'm pretty sure this article would have worked on me.

Or maybe not.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

[elle56]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

Jesus. That's what you get for scrimping on quality.

[Rus Sells]

Originally Posted by AndrewCavanagh

I think you're being a bit over critical here. That article really spoke to me.

I mean who isn't worn out from this "first moving world" and how isn't living "first-life" trying to "keep tandem with everything around."

I'm pretty sure that's all of us. Yes indeed.

And yes "thanks to the god!" so many of us in our "living first-life" lifestyle "fall prey" to "irritating diseases" like "unwanted weight-gaining".

I know it's "severely affecting" to many of our lifes.

If I was wanting to "loosing weight" I'm pretty sure this article would have worked on me.

Or maybe not.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

My laptop just received a dose of nasal cavity projectile milk for reading that while eating my birthday cake!!!

THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!

[Pokerlover]

Nice one.. Can't understand.. Goodbye $2.. Make sure to ask for samples of the writer before you ask him or her to write for you next time..

[traces2757]

Originally Posted by AndrewCavanagh

I think you're being a bit over critical here. That article really spoke to me.

I mean who isn't worn out from this "first moving world" and how isn't living "first-life" trying to "keep tandem with everything around."

I'm pretty sure that's all of us. Yes indeed.

And yes "thanks to the god!" so many of us in our "living first-life" lifestyle "fall prey" to "irritating diseases" like "unwanted weight-gaining".

I know it's "severely affecting" to many of our lifes.

If I was wanting to "loosing weight" I'm pretty sure this article would have worked on me.

Or maybe not.

Kindest regards,
Andrew Cavanagh

I'm pretty sure I lost a couple of pounds trying to decipher it.

[thewizard]

I was just considering getting into article marketing. Atleast now I know what kind of articles NOT to write.

[peter gibson]

Originally Posted by DeePower

You get what you pay for. This is an example of one of those $2.00 for 500 words articles. It's so bad I can't even rewrite it.

The world is moving first with great progress in everything and we are living first-life to keep tandem with everything around. To keep everything in order we are bound to live advanced life; but we easily fall prey to certain diseases associated to it, and Obesity and unwanted weight-gaining are the two most irritating diseases that is severely affecting to our life.
But, thanks to the god! A reliable product is around us in getting rid of obesity and unnecessary weight gain problems. It’s a wonder fruit that provides a number of benefits to our health. Yes, the diets of Acai Berry helps in loosing wait, very first. Let’s take a look at how it works in loosing weight.

Dee

So then it is true. The writing Gods have gone and banished us all to the Ninth Circle Of Hell.

The horror.

[bgmacaw]

Originally Posted by Sandi Valentine

Nice. I'm impressed - can I get ten of those?

Sure, why not.

[Joseph Then]

Wow, if that's the quality of the work, I must be a damn good writer compared to these.

[innovator]

"But thanks to the god"

I really laughed. Maybe he's praying to his writing gods when he's writing this one.