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Critique my ebook sales page

by hudsonkraft
2 replies
I'd really like some expert (and fresh) eyes on my ebook sales page.

I want to get to the stage where I can start split testing, once I know that the key elements are in place and there's nothing I've missed out.

Learn how to make a van into your home - Vandog Traveller

Any tips and suggestions?
#critique #ebook #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author kk075
    I think it's a little weak since you mentioned almost nothing about the lifestyle...and that's what's going to sell your eBook. The copy needs to talk about your freedom to see the world, to live off the grid and to set your own rules...that's the kind of copy that makes a book like this shine. Give that to me in actual detail....where you've been, what you've seen and the amount of money you've saved by doing this.

    As far as the actual writing goes, it needs a thorough copy edit to make each of your points come alive. For example, you should have opened with your van being featured all over the world, and it's easily overlooked in the 2nd to last paragraph. Some of the wording is also confusing...the whole thing can be written better and with more emotion.

    So overall, I'd say it's a decent first draft. Now you need to add the polish and get your ideal customer's main pain points in there (off the grid, freedom to go anywhere, drifter lifestyle, etc.). I hope that helps.
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    • Profile picture of the author hudsonkraft
      Thanks that's helpful. Weak was the word I had in mind also. I've never written copy before and I kind of followed a sales letter template.

      My thinking was that they have already had a taste of the lifestyle from my blog posts. But you're right, it should be in this sales page also. Maybe with a photograph?

      I'm not sure if I should try editing this or pass it over to someone and pay them.
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