Warriors - tear apart my sales letter (I'm re-doing it)
A few months ago I got a TON of useful suggestions from Warriors to improve the first sales letter that I used on my website. I made changes that definitely helped improve conversion. But I know I still have a ways to go.
I'm going to me re-doing the letter completely, and using a new layout. I'm currently using a WordPress theme that I did a lot of style sheet adjustments to. I have now purchased (the awesome) FlexSqueeze theme and I'm going to use it. So the new layout will be 650 pixels wide (very standard for sales letters). Right now I'm about 860 wide (too wide).
So. Please have a look at my letter and nit pick on everything. No holds barred. I'm going to seriously re-do this and I want all of your opinions.
Now: A few of you will probably say "test !!!". I will. I don't quite know how to do it yet in Wordpress but I'm committed to learning how to use Google Website Optimizer.
My site is here:
Dealing with Terrible Twos, Toddler Tantrums, and Child Behavior
Things that I know I'll get slack for:
1) too much headline stuff going on up front. I need to have a main and a sub, that's it. I know. Ideas on copy are welcome!
2) The page is too wide. I know.
3) Colors - I know not everyone will agree here, and I think it needs to be tested, but I'm open to your opinions on what OTHER colors to test out. Right now I'm using light blue with some words in light orange for emphasis.
But otherwise, what about my copy? What is great and should not be changed? What sucks and needs major improvement? What's unclear or foggy? What turns you on or off about the page?
I look forward to all of your feedback.
-
scattered -
Thanks - 1 reply
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1043046].message }}-
rosetrees -
Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1043156].message }} -
-
-
Michael Oksa -
Thanks - 1 reply
Signature"Ich bin en fuego!"{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1043293].message }}-
Chris Thompson -
Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1043437].message }}-
MarkAndrews IMCopywriting {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1043576].message }}-
Chris Thompson -
Thanks
{{ DiscussionBoard.errors[1044110].message }} -
-
-
-