O... M... G.

Marian Berghes

15 years ago

hahahahahahah

needed a good laugh, that guys is freakin crazy

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1 reply

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Lance K 15 years ago

So even if the whole project only took a minute of your time, you're making $6/hour.

I'm guessing you agreed to do the job for a bit of entertainment.
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Andy Crofford

15 years ago

Shouldn't that first banana be an <h1>?

Pretty funny.

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1 reply

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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Andy Crofford

Shouldn't that first banana be an <h1>?

I've found that most people who place articles on a web site already have an H1 earlier on their page, and prefer the titles in the article to be H2.

I've also been told that Google doesn't read keywords in H1 tags, which doesn't make any sense to me, and that advice usually comes with a request to please change the H1 tags to H2 on all the articles.

So I just put all the titles in H2, and nobody ever complains or asks me to change it.
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mikemcmillan

15 years ago

Your article is well optimized for the keyword! I am wondering if he spins your article how many new articles he can get

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Kris Turner

15 years ago

Actually, I really like what you've done with that piece. Two words doesn't give you a lot of room for creativity...But you excelled. Well done!

I'm thinking about getting a 3 word article written on how to write a sales page. Interested?

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LilBlackDress

15 years ago

Most interesting.

Do you think this was a friend playing a joke, someone getting their kicks or what do your instincts tell you?

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Tom Brite

15 years ago

Now that is one very wierd request.

Im guesing its a competitor pissed that you have written so many articles based around one keyphrase or something.

If you get that $0.10 payment then paypal's gonna take all if not most of that from you anyhow, maybe think about increasing it to 4 words instead

Tom Brite

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bizideas

15 years ago

I wonder what Paypal's fee would be in that case?

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George Wright

15 years ago

Originally Posted by bizideas

I wonder what Paypal's fee would be in that case?

Actually there will be no payment. Paypal takes everything up to 32 or 33 cents.

I hope he doesn't do a charge back. That will cost you $25

George Wright

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CDarklock

15 years ago

Originally Posted by George Wright

I hope he doesn't do a charge back. That will cost you $25

Man... that would suck. Maybe that's actually the plan. Or am I just being paranoid?

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JV3STUDIO

15 years ago

maybe you should change your terms and request a minimum order? I get these jokes to my translation service too. Some people put in silly orders, a few words. I just don't take these.

Best,

Johan

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2 replies

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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by johan

maybe you should change your terms and request a minimum order?

I'm considering that, but I'm wondering whether it would really matter. After all, they might just... well, let's just say maybe it's a friend of Doug Zongker, who can be seen here presenting his research paper in February of 2007:

YouTube - Chicken chicken chicken
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Steven Wagenheim

15 years ago

Oh come on CD, you're yankin our chain right?

Please tell me this is a joke.

Whatever that guy is smokin, somebody needs to take it away...fast!

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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Please tell me this is a joke.

No, I'm serious. It was a different keyword, but honestly: one two-word article with 100% keyword density.

I've been completely mystified ever since I got this order. I can't concentrate on anything else. I just keep going "WTF, why would someone do that?"
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- Mitch Miller 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by CDarklock
  
  I've been completely mystified ever since I got this order.
  
  I'm mystified as to why you bothered with this?
  
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- Tracey_Meagher 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by CDarklock
  
  I just keep going "WTF, why would someone do that?"
  
  Well, obviously to test the quality of your work
  
  Seriously, consider asking the client (in no way that suggests he's nuts) or you'll go insane!!
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Sean Roberts 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Tracey_Meagher
  
  Well, obviously to test the quality of your work
  
  Seriously, consider asking the client (in no way that suggests he's nuts) or you'll go insane!!
  
  She's right man, While in my final year at university I got a series of just plain weird letters from a supposed "secret admirer", which were obviously somebody's attempt to mess with me. It worked. They were just so downright bizarre, I never found out who they were from, and it still bugs the hell out of me to this day. That was 6 years ago!
  
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  Ken Strong 15 years ago
  
  I think it's time to set a minimum fee per article.
  
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JayXtreme

15 years ago

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Whatever that guy is smokin, somebody needs to take it away...fast!

I am happy to perform this job... I can't guarantee that the stash will ever be seen again though

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xiaophil

15 years ago

Originally Posted by jendoe

I took a class in "natural language understanding" (ie computers parsing english sentences) and on one of our exams, we were asked to create a parse-tree of the sentence: "Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo".

Bison from upstate New york harass other bison?

Originally Posted by CDarklock

We got this one: "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

They certainly do!

My favorite was "Fish fish fish fish fish", which took a while but now makes perfect sense: The fish that some fish catch also catch fish.

I'm sure you guys could add some insight to this thread:

http://www.warriorforum.com/main-int...icles-you.html

Thanks

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JakeDaly 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Whatever that guy is smokin, somebody needs to take it away...fast!

..And give it to me. Hell, he could be doing a lot worse things while being under the influence of drugs than purchasing small content orders. If anyone ever tells me to optimize the single word banana in any way possible, I'll probably just hand them 20 dollars and my first-born child. That's just down-right hilarious.
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John Romaine

15 years ago

Why even waste your time with it?

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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by ramone_johnny

Why even waste your time with it?

Technically, it met all my requirements. No minimum number of articles. No minimum number of words. HTML version with basic tags for structure can be provided free of charge. List any desired SEO terms and target keyword density.

Well, he did all that, so it's a valid order. No matter how silly it might look to me, it's a legitimate order under the terms I gave him, and he has every right to make it.

At least he didn't ask me to optimise a two-word article for three keywords. Dammit, I may have just given him an idea.
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"The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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Hackbridge

15 years ago

Is that what you call a "Double Whammy"?

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misterwrecker

15 years ago

Wow that's pretty funny...maybe he didn't want to write all that code.....lol

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jendoe

15 years ago

Looks like you really went bananas with that one

*ducks*

There aren't any college classes in SEO, are there? It looks like the kind of thing some of my old profs might assign, to test how well you can think around things. I took a class in "natural language understanding" (ie computers parsing english sentences) and on one of our exams, we were asked to create a parse-tree of the sentence: "Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo".

I think I actually giggled during the test. That was my most favorite exam, ever!

Maybe he was just testing you, and will have more substantial work coming soon. One can hope, right?

-Jen

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1 reply

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CDarklock

15 years ago

Originally Posted by jendoe

I took a class in "natural language understanding" (ie computers parsing english sentences) and on one of our exams, we were asked to create a parse-tree of the sentence: "Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo".

We got this one: "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

AI classes were the best. Especially back when we did all the programming in LISP.

Thanks
2 replies

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Aronya 15 years ago

Originally Posted by CDarklock

... Especially back when we did all the programming in LISP.

Why isn't that LITHP? :rolleyes:
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- CDarklock 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Aronya
  
  Why isn't that LITHP? :rolleyes:
  
  To mock you. If you have one, you can't say it.
  
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  "The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
  
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jendoe 15 years ago

Originally Posted by CDarklock

We got this one: "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

AI classes were the best. Especially back when we did all the programming in LISP.

Fun times! Absolutely agree - gosh, makes me miss school!

xiaophil:

>> Bison from upstate New york harass other bison?

Yup! (adjective noun verb noun)

>> My favorite was "Fish fish fish fish fish", which took a while but now makes perfect sense: The fish that some fish catch also catch fish.

Hey, shouldn't that be: The fish that some fish catch also catch fish (that some fish catch?). "fish fish" makes my head hurt a little though, lol!

(I bet there's a good tongue twister in there somewhere... "fresh fish flush fresh flesh"? lol, sorry, it's after midnight by me )

CDarklock - I think you should email him and offer to forgive the entire fee if he tells you what he wanted it for
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Jon Alexander

15 years ago

apparently, the client came back - one of the words was misspelled... :-) :-) :-)

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pappyy3 15 years ago

They've turned the article into an ebook ... and its on Clickbank

I hope they have an decent affiliate program for it (LoL!!)

This post has definitely put a smile on my face
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- geolt7 15 years ago
  
  Thanks for the good laugh
  
  Thanks
  
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stephperez

15 years ago

Right!!! That's exactly what I needed today...a freakin laugh! Being ex military...I love the.... Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot.

Good stuff!

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Doublejm 15 years ago

lol...

I want some of what hes got. Wow people never cease to amaze me
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Emily Meeks

15 years ago

HA. Wow... that is amazing.

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dageniusmarketer

15 years ago

"And they thought the Joker was only a batman character"

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wildfremd

Banned 15 years ago

[DELETED]

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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by wildfremd

It's funny that you had an offer like that...but there are so many people out there that want them...believe it or not.

What do they DO with them?! I mean, honestly, it's keeping me up nights over here.
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"The Golden Town is the Golden Town no longer. They have sold their pillars for brass and their temples for money, they have made coins out of their golden doors. It is become a dark town full of trouble, there is no ease in its streets, beauty has left it and the old songs are gone." - Lord Dunsany, The Messengers
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- milkyway 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by CDarklock
  
  What do they DO with them?! I mean, honestly, it's keeping me up nights over here.
  
  But that was the point of this order -- it's from a competitor who is trying to disturb you so much that you will neglect the rest of your work...
  
  milkyway
  
  Thanks
  
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MattSanti

15 years ago

How could you have turned it into a song?

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Steadyon

15 years ago

Originally Posted by CDarklock

Let's pretend the keyword was "banana." (I can't tell you the real keyword, because it's work for hire and I don't own the rights anymore.) I sent back the article in two files; banana.txt:

Code:

Banana

Banana.

And banana.html:

Code:

<h2>Banana</h2>
<p>Banana.</p>

I also included an invoice:

Code:

Banana (2 words) $0.10
Total $0.10

I halfway expect to get stiffed on this, because honestly I think the client must have been smoking something. But if I actually get a ten-cent payment through PayPal, I'll let you know.

Banana?

Sounds like someone was Monkeying around with you.

Thanks

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John Atkins

15 years ago

You just made my day!

Anyway, good luck receiving your 10 cent!

lol

Originally Posted by CDarklock

I do not think I will ever get a stranger job for the rest of my life.

I got a request via email about my article writing services. The questions revolved around what I needed to write articles, did I have a minimum order size or length, etc.

Having answered all the questions at some length, I got the actual order: one article - in both text and HTML formats - with a length of two words, optimised for one keyword, and a keyword density of 100%.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot.

Let's pretend the keyword was "banana." (I can't tell you the real keyword, because it's work for hire and I don't own the rights anymore.) I sent back the article in two files; banana.txt:

Code:

Banana
 
Banana.

And banana.html:

Code:

<h2>Banana</h2>
<p>Banana.</p>

I also included an invoice:

Code:

Banana (2 words) $0.10
Total $0.10

I halfway expect to get stiffed on this, because honestly I think the client must have been smoking something. But if I actually get a ten-cent payment through PayPal, I'll let you know.

Thanks

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wisecrone333

15 years ago

If I had gotten a few more clients like that (that paid of course) I might have kept up with my writing work - worth the giggle though, I needed that

)

Lisa

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Jo_Shua

15 years ago

CD, you should outsource this tedious task to Antarctic monkeys

JC

P.S. They do have monkeys in Antarctica, right?

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CDarklock 15 years ago

Originally Posted by Joshua Collins

P.S. They do have monkeys in Antarctica, right?

Nope. Penguins. I'd have to use penguins.
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