Touchy Situation :) - What do you guys think?

It can be a lot of fun working with your wife. You will feel really close. But as soon as business turns to business, and you run into problems and snags within the business, it will put a strain on your relationship.

I say Approach with caution, at your own risk. But, that depends on how close you guys are. The simple fact that you are posting this, seems to show that you already know what to do

So you're saying she wants you to find her other webmasters to work for? Is she going to have time to do your stuff too? Or are you going to get bumped for her clients that pay better?

In all seriousness, my husband and I don't work together because it just gets ugly. Other couples run huge businesses together and they make it work.

I guess I don't understand what the issue is, here exactly.


By the way- could you let her know I am so glad she gets to stay home with her kids, and she gets to be valuable to you as far as the business part goes? She is so blessed. Even though I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to her sometimes.

Jeremy, it really all depends on your relationship.

I'm guessing that your reluctance stems from foreseeing difficulties. If that's the case, I'd recommend treading very lightly when thinking about or planning out a working relationship.

Jeremy,

She is already in business with you doing quite a bit of your online work and as you say doing a great job.

Are you saying you can take what you need from her, ie her content posting, SEO work etc and fill your needs but not give her growth opportunities and fill hers?

If she wasn't working with you already and doing a great job it would be one thing....but you have already passed that point. I think it only fair that you support her also.

It is a tough job market and she has not worked in awhile. And she knows she can probably do a lot more working with you, make more and have greater flexibility if the kids get sick etc.

You have someone you trust and you have personally "trained"
She could prove to be an incredible asset to help grow your business even more.

Set some ground rules and establish things they way you want them.

From what you have said, I have a feeling she is very reliable and responsible and will do what needs to be done. Yet you are questioning this? Give her the benefit of the doubt Jeremy.
This is your life partner and she deserves this opportunity.
If she had not already been working with you, I might feel differently.

To be honest it is different with each individual couple in my opinion, but myself and my wife have been in business and working together for 6 years now and I like it, but that is just us. What is good for one couple is not for another. My friend had done this as well and it didn't work but they already argue and fuss at each other when they didn't work together so it is disaster from the start. So If you are good friends now along with your marriage, and she will be dedicated it should work with no problems. But you have to let her know when it comes to clients like you said it has to been done in a timely manner, and it will be your rep and hers on the line if you vouch for her and get her jobs. And after all this is your business and your rep that you have built . In my experience building relationships in this business, and networking takes time and effort to just throw away . Anyway that is just my view good luck !

Hi Jeremy,

Get yourself some Pen Names and let your "new friends" hire her. I'm sure they will be able to work with your wife very well and they will treat her just as well as you do. Why, they might even give her all the leeway she needs.

George Wright

Here is what I do in these situations:

Take both of the sides and envision what might happen if you take action one way or another.

If you envision good happening, that is the right thing to do. If you see problems ahead if you take a particular action, that is probably what you want to avoid.

Only you know the particulars and what might happen...


My first advice as an outsider not knowing all the particulars would be this:

If this is what she really wants, set her up, support her and see what happens.

If you don't, it could cause some friction.

Terry

CDarlock is exactly right. It'll be better if she has her own clients.

I think the secret to making this work is deciding between these 2 options:

- Be IN business with your spouse
- Treat your spouse as your employee

If you decide to be IN business together, be IN business together. Treat each other as equal business owners, and each person will feel more of an obligation and responsibility to perform because they both feel ownership and both share revenue or have their own clients.

When you go the route of treating your spouse like an employee, they are going to act more like an employee. They'll expect you as the owner to handle responsibilities and make sure all important items are being done. They'll be more focused on tasks and 'helping you out' every once in a while and less concerned with the results or consequences of not doing things on time. Obviously you're not going to 'fire them', so there's not much motivation in getting everything done on time, particularly when they find better things to do.

It's not their fault, I think it's just the mindset every person gets in when they feel no ownership of something. It's "your thing", and you're just dumping your responsibilities onto them every once in a while. No employee will ever feel the same way about a business as the owner of the business does.

One warning though, it's difficult to move from that phase of one being more of an employee to transitioning into a business partner, but it can be done. I know from experience.

My husband and I don't work well together either.

But perhaps I'm missing something...if she does a good job at the tasks that you give her to do, why can't you show her how to set up her own money-making site based on a hobby of hers?

Love,
Shannon

The genie is already out of the bottle, Jeremy, but good luck, anyways.

I was working in the same office together with my BF for half a year and even though everything was fine, I wouldn't do it again. I always think in a relationship 2 people should not see each other 24/7, there should be some small time apart so that you wouldn't feel too overwhelmed by each other. Maybe it's different to other couples but it's just what its like to me.
I think you should show her how to start everything for herself, like a business plan, daily task list for her business to get her busy and from there she would go on her own.

Happy Wife = Happy Life

I bought your stuff before and it's first class, you're a smart guy with a great business just let her do her own thing...

I've been business partners with my wife several times in the past. It worked great for us, but we communicate exceptionally well, and don't react emotionally to surface issues. I can rely on her for a lot of detail-oriented support because she's good at the lists.

Hi

me and my husband work side by side and it works like a dream and there have been very few arguements. We are very equal though which i believe is very important.

kind regards


sam
X

Hi Jeremy,

I'm chimng in here without reading all the posts so forgive me if I get redundant by repetition :-)

Why not set up a separate corporation for your wife? Let her build a business of her own. You've already said she's kinda doing her own thing - so just make it official.

She can bill your biz for the work she does for you and expand from there. There's no reason her thing has to be a clone of yours.

I really want to have my wife be able to quit her job and stay home. She's very talented with the financial stuff and she loves that kind of thing. She'd also be very happy puttering around with crafts and things.

We generally work very well together but a lot of the stuff I do - like writing is pretty solitary. She hates that kind of thing.

In other words - we compliment each other well.

My suggestion to you is to help her find her own thing to do. If you find you don't work well in close quarters, then make whatever changes you need to do.

God bless,

Andy

mate. I hear what you're saying, my advice would be to remember she is your wife and dont treat her like an employee or subordinate simply because she's on the payroll. If you're a good manager, you'll view staff as equal members of the team. Don't be one of those guys who think's it's about control and being "the boss".

Clearly explain your expectations and give her enough trust and respect to do the job without hovering over every little detail. If you're going to micro manage, then hire a college student and whip them everyday

I haven't read all the posts so someone else may have already suggested this but it seems simple - she's already doing well with your stuff so suggest to her that you guys set her up with a business the is different from yours ie if your business is aimed at internet marketing systems have her work with pets sites or something else she likes. She can use your system but go for a totally different chunk of internet customers. Depending on the way you guys relate to one another you could either challenge her or incourage her. Either way it keeps you separate but you can still relate to each other. Only downside would be you may lose your free help.

As others have already... I would suggest supporting her in her endeavor to create her own Internet marketing business.

Rather than having to deal with the expectations that coming with working FOR you more so as an employee, she will have the freedom to chart her own path.

At the end of the day, your conversations won't be about "What did you get done today?" and will instead be more long the lines of "How did it go today?" with you proving guidance and support.



Jason

P.S. Just for the record... my wife has no personal interest in IM so I am not speaking from direct experience of the relationship I'm suggesting -- other than that of women, how they operate, and which obstacles they're likely to face moving into a wife=employee relationship

Back when I was big into recipe sites, I basically taught my wife how to work with Joomla. She has several of her own sites now and makes a decent adsense income Just gotta turn them onto something they can enjoy and be passionate about.

Congrats to you guys! I cant wait to get to the point that my hubby can quit his day job and we can work on this together (within our own roles on our own things of course)

Easy solution. Your wife is "bored out of her gord". She sounds like a very bright person and she probably is craving to do something creative, whether she knows it or not. In the end, she's coming off as bored and restless because she is! The solution? What has she always wanted to do....paint, modern dance, write short stories? Once she's involved in her passion, then the enthusiasm in the work that she does with you will skyrocket. How do I know? Been there! The secret is for her to tap into her passion.

Think is really depends on your relationship...
Working with your wife could be nice...But it have some negative side.

Hi Tina,

Thats awful. I don't get that at home but friends and colleagues either go crazy ('my brother in law tried that but you, youre actually making it happen) or (yeah... right).

Here is a solution for you; let her start her own service and you will be one of her clients. That way you still get the service but she's independent of you. There will be less arguments and friction.
Dennis Francis
DiD Publishing Inc.

Hi Jeremy,

Glad to hear you guys worked something out. I trust all will go well.

God bless,

Andy

You're smart kids, I know you'll work it out.

I know a lot of people out there in this economy rail on about, "I can't find a job. I can't find a job." I always tell them to go out and create a job. That's obviously what you and your wife have done--kudos!

The only thing I would say, and you know this, is that family has to come first. If you monitor the situation and you get an inkling your wife is ever getting stressed out about trying to do too much--maybe you could turn her loose to do her own business using what she has learned from you and then outsource the tasks she had been doing for you.

I only say this because overload leads to frustration and frustrations can build and that's obviously not good for a relationship. My wife, who is gone now, used to put in tons of time with me and also did accounting work for other clients. I could feel when she was getting stressed so I'd tell her to take a couple weeks off from helping me and I'd bring in a temp to do the paperwork she helped me with.

You're a lucky man Jeremy to have a good woman and good partner--good luck.

I've known several couples that have made a great team. Only you know how you feel about working closely with her, but a word of advice from a woman. She's asking you to support her dreams. I suggest you give her all the support you can and praise her successes.

My suggestion would be to not go into business with her. Let her do it on her own. If she is good and knows what she is doing then she should be able to find her own clients.

It's not a good idea to mix business and family. In most cases this could lead to fights.